So What is Normal?

Many Saturdays when I was growing up, I went to the movies with my friends. My dad would often ask me about the movies I saw. In general, they were about big bugs, monsters, war, cowboys, space, horror or James Bond. My dad did not understand why I liked these movies. His view was they were not about normal life. After many arguments, I realized dad was right. The best movies were not “normal.” In fact, a realization I had as a teenager was the best thing about the movies was that they were not normal, just exciting and entertaining.

I attended high school and then college. Sometime in my 20s, I realized the best times of my life were not normal. The times I remember today were very un-normal: seeing the Beatles and the Rolling Stones; going to graduate school; getting married; being a White House Fellow; moving to the South; having a family, etc. Everything that sticks in my head was un-normal. In fact, a realization I had before I turned 30 was that normal was not good, not normal was good—very good.

When I decided to leave my normal job and become an entrepreneur, my dad was horrified. He pleaded with me to be happy and lead a normal life. He was afraid that as an entrepreneur I was risking failure and threatening the well-being of my normal family. I recall specifically my dad saying to me, “Jim, if you are not concerned about your family, please at least think of all the people who will work for you and their families.”

My dad loved me, and with my mom, had raised me to have a high-quality, normal life. But I would not conform. Instead, I

have a high-quality, exciting life,

a very un-normal life.

My wife and I have a great life. We have three children and eight awesome grandkids. We have traveled the world and had many, many unusual and un-normal experiences. As we approached our 50th anniversary, we began settling into normalcy. I have had a marvelous career and built a tremendous company. My life has been great; far from normal. In fact, I have realized success was achieved by traveling in the opposite direction of normal.

As I accepted my role as a senior citizen, I began doing the normal senior citizen things. I had a great job. I went to work. I had a great family. I sat on the sidelines cheering on the grandkids. My wife and I took another cruise, and we counted our many blessings. My dad would be so proud, as I was normal at last.

Then COVID-19 hit. I worked from home. My wife and I were isolated, and the cruises and many activities were canceled. I lost my Platinum Crown Ambassador standing on the airlines. I was normal and I didn’t like it. I saw two options:

1. Be normal and live a great retirement.
2. Be unnormal, adjust my priorities and have the time of my life.

I chose #2. I am still chairman of Tompkins International, but this is a part-time job where I am involved in the fun stuff and not the hard work of running a business. My role is not normal and I love it. What am I doing with the rest of my time? Un-normal and exciting things. Having a ball applying my years of experience that is moving mountains. Not at all normal but having the time of my life.

Why did I write this note? To tell you about my un-normal life? Now, how would that help you? All I have written is to lay the groundwork for the following Seven Truths of Being Normal:

1. Being normal is not a journey or a destination. You need a journey and you need a destination. So, be un-normal and begin the journey to your destination.
2. Normal really is not normal anymore. Being un-normal, being a unique person—that makes a difference. Let’s make that happen.
3. Being un-normal means you are alive, you are creative, you are innovative, you laugh, you love life and you are blessed.
4. Being un-normal is exciting, vibrant and flourishing. Being normal is boring, dreary and dull.
5. Moving from today’s normal to the next normal and beyond is not normal, but it is fun, rewarding and invigorating.
6. Normal is in the eye of the beholder. You are in control of not being normal but living your life to the fullest.
7. Success in any pursuit demands un-normal goals, performance and standards of excellence.

In conclusion, throw off the cloak of normalcy. Be alive, be passionate and be un-normal. An un-normal life is a blessing to you and those around you.