So What Is Integrity To You, & Is It Important In How You Conduct Business?

I am going to share with you a personal story which has had a massive impact on my life, my career, my health, my family, my confidence and my trust in people. This has shaped my vision, approach, perception and my dealings going forwards.

As many of my network may know, its been a rough few years for me and my family and the trend continues in this vein of form to date. Unfortunately, as like most people in life, I have had a period of close family suffering and dying with my a close family member being cremated only yesterday. Cancer in its various forms has taken my mother, aunt, two uncles and a couple of friends. It has also caused suffering and misery to a lot of other friends and family that have managed to survive its touch. In this period i have also lost my grandmother and had my wife in pain and poor health with various problems and complications.

In this last three years or so I have as you imagine had a lot of mental suffering and chances to reflect and look at my own life and what i contribute. This has driven me to look at doing a lot of things i previously had not considered to help others, and look at helping to support other causes such as the ones that have supported my family friends and myself through the the challenging period when living with Cancer in your life, be it yourself our your family, friends or colleagues.

However, this post is not about this area of my life now, perhaps i will write about this a little later, this is about how something that happens with such a devastating impact at a time of your life when you are at your lowest, can suddenly force you to do the things you have wanted to do but have been to scared to do because of the change it would cause on your life, but now you find have nothing left to lose but everything to play for. I want to talk about the impact of a specific individual and although i would suggest that perhaps a handful of people i could identify as not acting with integrity over the period i have out lined, one individuals actions and treatment have stood out by a country mile.

I am not going to name and shame this individual or the company that they are the CEO of, as this is not the intent of the post, however the elements which i share to add context to my message will be fact and demonstrate the reasoning and challenges i have faced that have ultimately led me to the place i am now and to pose the question in the headline of this post to the audience and probe your perception of what constitutes integrity to you, why is it so important and do you live up to your own standards.

For me, i have always wanted to start my own business, and i have always wanted to use the business to drive continuous improvement and a more effective and efficient way of safety in a simplistic, whole business way. I have always wanted the opportunity to really go for it and create this place to enable the vision to come into reality and not have to worry about the red tape, politics, corporate maneuvers and sign off merry go rounds which kill and dilute so much in terms of impact and progression. However i held a well paid role and had a good reputation in the profession, so their was no urgency or push to really put the family in a risk situation.

The first thing to really cause me to start re evaluating how to get to my why and really look at how i was feeling about my role and position in my career was the death of my mother. In the aftermath of my mothers final, painful, heartbreaking and brave last few months i could not help but realise and review my own mortality and if i was in this position what would i regret. I suppose that this is natural and what a lot of people do when ones mortality is laid bare and is demonstrated in clear day to day live pictures in front of your eyes, but i reckon that for each one of us their is our own specific things.

For me, i had a few things which stood out. One off which was my career. Not so much the profession i had chosen, but the way i was trying to fulfill my ambitions and objectives. My mother passed away a year ago in March 2017 a couple of days before her 65th birthday and mothers day. I never got to give her the last cards and presents i knew i would be buying her. She died when unfortunately i was in a board meeting on the south coast, and it was not until after the meeting and returned home to my wife late that evening i found out that she had passed away that morning. at that moment something in me hurt so much that i had not felt anything like before, and in the next few days it went into an ache and then into a place where it feels like something died or is missing.

I was in a new role at the time, i had taken this role as i knew i needed to change the way i was trying to get satisfaction from my career. It was a role i was a bad fit for, it was not right and became more unhappy, especially when i then made a similar mistake again and again food myself completely unfulfilled and angry. I was angry, that was unusual. I had been angry at work before but never felt the bitter anger i felt at this point. i resented the role and the environment i was in, and wanted more from my life at work, i am passionate about my profession by increasingly frustrated and not interested in playing the corporate games and being part of things that were not in line with my values, standards and expectations.

After this confusing period i had to take time out and really understand what was going on with me. I had been in two roles which previously would have offered the challenge and elements of what is was striving to attain significant enough to keep me satisfied and occupied enough to deflect anything from contemplating anything else with a serious mindset. However something had changed in me, i felt something new, new needs and requirements that were almost screaming to be heard and acknowledged. It was time to listen. I deep down already new what was wrong but i was desperately trying to hang on to what normal and comfortable for me before all of this and just go back to my previous life where everything was good and rosey.

Looking back it was never going to happen. Once i had started to reflect, reevaluate and question myself and challenge my responses it could never return to what it was as i realised it was not what i wanted. I could try to ignore it and try to convince myself that it was a phase i would work through, but we all know that that doesn't really truly happen once you have taken the time to really understand yourself. If you go against your needs and desires you cannot be happy. This was now coming to Christmas and like a few close people had suggested, i had taken a few months out and rest myself. I felt ready and i decided to look for some like minded people to make a difference with. I was also down to the last of the savings so i had to get myself in a place where i was able to bring in some money as well as working with like minded people doing something that made me happy and enabled me to fulfill my purpose.

A week before Christmas i was contacted over linkedin by a network connection and offered me an almost dream role. It was the kind of role i had been thinking about in my head but had thought i would have to create for myself. The relief, excitement, happiness and eagerness immediately filled me, this was good as both the previous roles had not had this impact. I felt good. This i had not felt in a very long time. The fact that someone had approached me for the role, stated that they liked what i did and the vision i have and wanted me to start ASAP filled me with the confidence, which was pretty low at this point.

This again quickly turned out to be a low point. Not to go into the details of this period in defined details, but in summary i was not paid, reimbursed for expenses, receive any package agreed, introduction into the business, no constructive communications, ignored, insulted, no statement of employment provided, no wage slips and given no equipment to fulfill my role. This went on for three months. The effects on the family, my wife and myself were devastating. As you can imagine the impacts this had on an already suffering family. In April i made the choice to do something scary, exciting, nerve racking and new. I did what i had been wanting to do for a while but been to comfortable to take the plunge. I founded Defining Evolution.

I founded this to be everything about doing the right thing and with integrity. This business i founded to be everything that i had lost faith in the other places i had been involved in. The simplistic elements of all i am about is passion, commitment, integrity and no fluffy greyness. for me i see Integrity as key for my business, myself and those i engage with. I define integrity as a combination of really important personal elements that without these i would find it unacceptable to have any association with the character in question.

This was the case when i walked away from a business at the end of March that i felt i could no longer work within as the elements which are so key to a relationship were broken and damaged beyond repair. For me i trust people, i am happy to work with people and assume best intentions, but ultimately i will not give trust out to the same individuals once it has been broken. People who go out and intentionally lie, deceive, manipulate and destroy others for there own purpose and ends are not for me, on the example list of trusted types of individuals.

Through this experience though i have learnt a lot of valuable lessons, skills, knowledge and created a business that i have wanted to do but always found a reason not to. I feel alive. I have also taken on board all the areas i have seen that i find unacceptable and dishonest and made sure that it will not be part of me or something i am part of going forwards. I will always do the right thing and not do to others what i have had done to me.

Integrity is a lot of things for me, most i think are in this word cloud.

Integrity is also:

At Defining Evolution it will always meet my expectations and deliver the highest level of integrity, and receive the same in return. This i have built into our core values and i am passionate that this is at the heart of all we do. Integrity above all else matters most to me. I am the happiest i have been for years, im excited, nervous, scared and absolutely buzzing with ideas and invention. We have our first handful of clients, we are meeting new people, being invited to attend venues and promote our business and the solutions we have and i am learning so much about business areas i may not of had the opportunity to do if i had not taken this path.

I will finish off with a summary of the message i have tried to relay.

1. Life has some really crap bits in it, we will all unfortunately experience this. We will also experience good bits too. The point is we have only got one chance to do what we want to do and you never know if the next doctors appointment may be the one that changes everything. Do what you can now to keep your life ambitions alive.
2. Don't wait to find yourself in a situation like me where it was really the only immediate option left as you have been dropped in the smelly stuff from a great height, if you know that you really want to do something like start your own business, do it....but in a slightly better way than i did.
3. Society is unfortunately inclusive of liers and people who will cheat you. This is the way it is unfortunately and you have to watch yourself especially if you are vulnerable in your circumstances at the time. They will deceive you to take advantage of you. Don't be afraid to use your network to do some digging on the individual if it sounds to good to be true. If i had, i would of had three trusted and respected individuals highlight some things that would have steered me away from that situation.
4. Accept help and support from those you trust and keep your network alive in your quiet periods and downtime. Life is all about people, relationships, engaging, collaboration and interaction.
5. Be true to yourself and don't ignore what you know to be true.
6. Try to be the best, most individual you, that you can think of and create.
7. Be scared, its ok....but be brave, cos thats where the magic starts from.

As always, thanks for reading my posts and i hope they add value to someone in someway.

Wayne