So, 'What do you do?'

I was stood next to a friend as he was asked that question a few months ago. He had just got laid off from his dream job, and the person asking the question, renowned in his field, had just listed off the insanely cool projects he was working on.?

The friend admitted this question floored him. He would have once answered that he had X cool job at X cool company, and he found himself needing to prove in some way to the other dude that he was still worthy or valid in some way without those job titles.

The ‘what do you do’ question is such a funny one - given that we’re all constantly judging each other and ourselves by our job title and the company we work for. I’ve spent a decade as a recruiter doing exactly that - judging everyone by what their professional experience says.

But then again, that’s how the old model defines our sense of self-worth - all the old systems - which school we went to, what job we have, who we ‘know’, it’s all the same.

And what I’m seeing, especially, on Linkedin, is an increasing amount of people who are getting laid off, or going through significant career / life transitions. The mental state surrounding that period is a deeply vulnerable one, and I don’t really see it being spoken to.

So Hi. Here we are.

I’ve been on my own journey of trying to define ‘what I do’ for the past 4 or so years. And whilst I have a lot more clarity today, it’s still a work in progress. There have been moments where I have felt the seeming inadequacy of not having the job title or the company I used to.

I drop in that I was asked to help set up the US office for Europe’s fastest growing recruitment firm, or that I had an on-site stint at Quibi - both giving me some sort of immediate validation that I’m a real human and at one point I had a real job where I was valued by other professionals.?

In the aftermath of my big fat life implosion of Jan 2020, I knew that the version of life I was living, simply wasn’t an option anymore. The one where I did have a job, and financial security, and all the boxes checked. That life was screaming at me to get out, and so it brought me to my knees until I finally paid attention.?

From that point onwards, I set out to do ‘only what felt good’. And it took me a while to understand what felt good, because I had been so disconnected from that feeling for so long.

Working for someone else meant that my time was owned, and it was filled with a whole bunch of things I ‘needed’ to do, because I was being paid to do it. My head was a constant circus of noise and meetings and deadlines and other people’s priorities. I didn’t realise how much the chaos consumed me until I finally got out of it.

The first chapter of this journey was in getting quiet, finally learning how to make space in my head. Thank you 2020 for giving me the Great Pause to do that.

Ok so I knew what I didn’t want to do, but it’s taken me nearly 4 years to get clear on what I do.?

I think the key shift happened when I stopped thinking about this process as a short term solution - what have I got to do for the next 3, 6, 12 months to make money? But instead saw the next 60 years of my life (I had a vision once that I would die at 95, and my Grandma passed a couple of weeks ago at that exact age, so this feels like concrete evidence to base my plans upon).... I saw 60 years ahead of me, and asked myself how do I want to be spending those years.

Allowing 60 years for the unfolding of it, helped remove any limitations of what might be possible, and I decided, I HAVE DECIDED that ‘what I do’ looks like this:

1. I make music. I sing, I dance, I channel the feeling of soul. I’m going for Glastonbury. I’m going for the biggest stages in the world. And we have so much fun. Hey - if you’re reading this and you’re in LA, we have our first show in Topanga, September 29th. A 300 person outdoor Greek theatre under ancient oaks. Come .?
2. I realised that even when I have the platform from the above, I want to be building shit. 6 planets in Cap. I’m a builder. Building the things that matter. So defining now, who are the most impactful business leaders of the future? The ones with one foot in the realm of unlimited possibility and deep self-awareness, and the other foot in the real, in the grounded. The ones who are mission led, building with deep integrity and purpose. Who are those people? What are those businesses? I want to work with them. I want to help recruit for them. MUD\WTR was a dream client that ticked all those boxes. Who are the others?
3. Building Whole Collective. We facilitate connection at scale. Which for right now is a broadcast TV channel. Sharing the tools and the stories of how one can transform the suffering, the depression, the loneliness and lostness into a deeply fulfilling life of connection, community, creativity and purpose. We are gearing up to start broadcasting conversations with people who have gone through that journey - business leaders who are succeeding through finding alignment to their inner worlds. A live event series (modelled off the James Blake event), where we’re bringing in high-profile folks in both the business and creative realms…?
4. And then there’s the whole family, home, great sex, community, travel, connection to spirit and nature piece. Founded in joy and what feels good.

But that’s it. This is my life. That’s what I want to be doing, in some shape or form, for the next few decades. And it’s taken me a few years to get clear on it. And I don’t need to know all the exact pieces of the puzzle, because what I have found is that as soon as I find clarity, the doors open for me in ways I could never imagine.?

And sure. Ever since I quit the life that was screaming at me to escape from, there have been moments of existential crisis, financial insecurity, very loud doubts of ‘what the hell do I think I’m doing’, and ultimately a feeling of deep lostness. But I have continued to follow this path of self-discovery, and I truly believe it’s taking me to a place of not only deep fulfilment, but also financial abundance.

It’s a one foot in front of the other, one day at a time kinda game I get to play. And when I think all is lost, the next door will open. Time and time again.

So I return to my why. Why am I sharing this? Because mine is the story I needed to hear.

In those moments of deep crisis, where it seems like there’s no hope or way out of the situation…. which I know the experience of getting laid off, or going through intense life transitions can often hold. I just needed someone to tell me it was all going to be ok. I did have those people. And they were right. It all was ok.?

There’s a HELL of a lot of stuff I haven’t figured out yet. I’m still wondering how I’m going to pay rent next month, or where the next piece of business is coming in. But today I have everything I need, and I look at the long list I’ve made of all the times I didn’t know how it was going to be ok, and it was.?

It always was.?

So what do I do?

I keep showing up to what each day is giving me. I ask how I can be of service. I’m here to tell the folks who need it, that it is all going to be ok.?

And there’s a lot of us who need to hear that right now. So we’ll keep telling each other that.?

It’s all going to be ok.?

It’s all going to be ok.

It’s all going to be ok.?