So, what do you believe to be true?

Here’s a good question to start a conversation – ‘So what do you believe to be true?’

That’s what I’d like to know. Show me your beliefs and I’ll show you your reality.

I’ve been digging deep lately, searching for some universal truths beyond cliché, feel-good meme-worthy pop-spirituality (which I’m a sucker for and love TBH). But I want some answers. Something practical I can apply. Here’s what came to mind this morning…

I’m noticing that growing and evolving is less about learning more, instead the real work is in undoing what we’ve learned. There is so much that we take for granted as known, as true, as us, as is, which doesn’t have to be.

It seems like we spend the first half our lives being told a story, a believable story. A story we come to know as ours, as true, as me, as you. Until one day this story is interrupted and we pause for moment to question who’s telling the story.

Typically, those moments and the questioning coincides with significant life experiences and transformations – births, deaths, illness, mid-life crises and monumental fuck-ups. It’s a shame we have to wait until it feels like we have no choice, for us to remember that we’re entirely responsible for what we choose to believe and the meaning we give things.

One truth I’ve come to know unequivocally over the years is that it’s our beliefs that shape our reality and our experience. Sure, what we think and do as a result is where it plays out, but it starts with our beliefs.

It can be a brutal reality check. But the good news is that beliefs are not fixed. You get to choose and change them. And what transpires as you do, is a life lived by design rather than default. Rather than being the reader of someone else’s story of your life, you sharpen the pencil and start writing. Not only do you become the main character of your story, you become the author. And the editor, the cast, the hero or the villain, the reader and the critic. And it’s a masterpiece. This becomes your life.

Good story but how do we start? Start by identifying and going all-in on what you truly, deeply desire. Then audit your beliefs. Are they aligned with the reality you currently experience, or the one you desire. Think and act in alignment with this desire and your newfound beliefs. Rinse and repeat.

Easier said than done, but worth doing. Looking back, I do feel like there’s some inherent truth that we’re guided to come to know. And it’s often contradicted by what we’re taught. The challenge then is to reconcile – what, or whose whose truth did we choose to believe, and why?

This tension is essential – it’s the contrast between what we know and what we’re taught that drives us. As we evolve, we’re going to need to let go of beliefs that don’t align with our emerging reality and the people we’re becoming.

I was thinking about that this morning and wondered what life would be like if I had’ve been taught some different lessons and inherited some different beliefs – ones that were aligned with who I am, not who I thought I needed to be. Can you relate?

Here’s a few beliefs that I acquired:

• Be happy with what you have, don’t want for any more
• You have to work hard for what you want, success doesn’t come easy
• Be happy, smile, get over it, don’t be sad
• Sooner or later you’re going to need to settle down
• Relationships are hard work
• Money doesn’t grow on trees
• Covet what you have, protect your assets
• Make sure you get your needs met.
• Think about what’s possible now, be realistic
• Be a good boy, behave

These didn’t sit well with me then and sure don’t now. But as a kid you’re limited by what’s presented to you by family, teachers etc. As adults however, we know better, right? As adults the contrast between these borrowed beliefs and what we know to be true drives us to choose again.

I spent some time redefining those old beliefs, this is the reality I chose now:

• Be grateful for what you have. And there is aways more if you want it – more for you, more for others, more for everyone. The universe is abundant and responds according to your desire and your perception of worth. You’re born worthy, you don’t need to earn it.
• Work needn’t be hard. The only hard work you need to be doing is challenging your ego and redefining beliefs. Know how ego works against your highest self and do whatever it takes to choose love over fear. This is the only hard work that matters.
• Be sad. Be unhappy. Be however the fuck you feel! Emotions are your guide, use them, know them, embrace and listen to them. No need to indulge in those that don’t feel good but never deny emotions. They are necessary, understand them. Feel them all.
• Settling down is a choice and what’s right for others may not be what’s right for you. We live in a cultural construct that values and idealises certain lifestyles, they don’t have to be yours. Be free – free to live as you choose and if that’s in a house in the ‘burbs, or in a caravan on the road or in a treehouse in the jungle, do it. If you want to spend your house deposit on travelling the world experiencing life, do that. Don’t settle into an expectation if it’s not yours. The only settling you should be doing is into what feels right for you, and that shouldn’t feel like a compromise.
• Relationships are your mirror, they shine a light on your ego. They’re not hard work, you are! Work on you, get over yourself, then honour the opportunity to love another that the relationship provides.
• Money is a form of energy, it represents value in a transaction and it’s not finite nor fixed – it’s mutable. In and of itself, it has no value. True, it doesn’t grow on trees but it does come and go according to your beliefs about your deservedness and self-worth. And you get to choose those.
• Give what you need. The universe responds to our actions which are an expression of our beliefs. Want love? Give it like you’ve got plenty to give. Want money? Give it to those who need it more, and give with gratitude that you have it to give, no matter how seemingly small that value is to you. Want validation? Give it – see others and acknowledge them in the way you’d like to be acknowledged. We are creators, go create.
• Everything is possible, reality is a choice. Choose yours, wisely.
• Be whatever the fuck you want. Be aware and take responsibility for the impact you have on others but that doesn’t mean you must conform. Have empathy, compassion and love. If in doubt, just love.

It’s fascinating what happens when you begin to challenge beliefs and replace ones that no longer resonate with new ones that do.

It’s like pulling the thread on a sweater, an old one that no longer fits. It unravels and you’re exposed.

Then you knit a new one, with fabric of your choosing.

One that fits, one that you like the colour, cut and feel of.

One that suits you.