So What?

Kids can teach us plenty, and there’s one lesson to pull from their behaviour that’s of particular importance to me. It’s those stupid, annoying, repeated questions that they keep asking, never content with the answers provided. It’s easy to think that they should listen to and internalize responses and ask fewer questions. When it comes to learning about our worlds, us grown folk (loose term) might need to accept fewer answers and keep asking the same question.

So what?

It’s what I consider to be the important, grown-up version of “why why why”. “So friggin’ what?” Do us a favour — think of a something that pissed you off recently. Define the scenario by putting the problem into one sentence (xyz happened and it sucked). Got it? Good. Here we go.

Ask yourself that annoying little question; So what? Invariably, the answer will take you to a secondary concern. “well now abc is going on”. So what? If we keep asking ourselves to further define our own problems, we can ultimately get to the true concern. It might take six or seven “so what”s, but I can almost guarantee that the true problem will boil down to an issue far less significant than you originally imagined before thinking yourself through your worries.

Without forgetting that the things that can’t be changed shan’t be worried about, it’s not too hard to get to a state where you answer “so what” with “Oh. Okay. Yeah, the worst-case scenario isn’t as devastating as I imagined”. Sometimes the exercise won’t be quite as successful, but it’s worth working through the process.

Defining our issues in a broad and vague scope allows us to be angry/concerned/frightened without truly knowing why. The idea isn’t to insist that problems aren’t problems, but rather that we need to be able to determine how severe a problem is on a micro level before writing off a day because everything sucks and the world is in shambles. Sometimes by questioning ourselves, we learn that we’re upset solely because people are supposed to be upset in that given situation, so expressing dismay feels like the only way to handle ourselves. Losing a job can change your life for the better, making a major mistake can improve your whole process, and falling off your damn bike can make you a lot more confident. Just because “that’s the way things are” doesn’t mean it’s the way they have to be.

Things will never always be perfectly fine. Problems are sometimes severe and require direct action. With that said, it really is great thinking you have an issue on your hands and reducing a few “so what”s to an “oh, I actually don’t give a shit about that so I don’t know why I’m freaking out”. Asking “so what” won’t always solve all our problems, but hey — it never hurts to ask.

-Chris

Chris Ackroyd

Hey, I’m Chris. I created Life In Questions in hopes of helping people to think a little bit differently. I’m all about people, learning, sports, and the game of life. I believe that our minds shape how we live, act, and behave, and that by being more aware of ourselves, we can live happier and more successful lives.