“This is so uncomfortable, you are my boss”...
Aligned to topics: Core Values, Truly Human, Voice of change, constructive feedback, real-time feedback, use your voice, mentorship, truly human
Originally posted: June 25, 2021
Over the last few months, I have written about my thoughts on making sure you are safe and healthy, setting boundaries and prioritizing work/life, and using your voice. These topics are always top of mind for me as I try to lead by example, listen to what folks are saying to me, and observing actions, tones, and interactions on calls, emails, etc. Last night I got Chinese take-out and, as always, excitedly cracked open my fortune cookies (hopefully you noticed it is the little things that bring me joy). These were poignant: (1) Your example will inspire others (2) You can’t build a reputation on what you are going to do.
Why am I bringing this up??I recently completed training and I had to work on my personal brand statement. Part of the exercise involved reaching out to ask how people would describe me.?Specifically around the following questions –
I was amazed at the responses I received – across the 26 people who replied there were common words and themes. With the good there is "bad" (constructive feedback for my continued growth), and by "bad" we ALL have things we need to work on. Take away: The answers pretty much solidified my fortune cookies.
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I still have to work on a couple things…
First, I was on a 1:1 call and I asked for feedback. My team member gave it to me hesitantly, but gave it and said “This is so uncomfortable, you are my boss”. I replied, “as long as it is constructive and real-time it is for my and your betterment”. I was so proud that they felt safe enough and courageous enough to talk to me and provide this valuable feedback. We all need to get to this place where we can have open, honest conversations about the good and the bad. This also was a common theme in my feedback to “What is the one thing you would suggest I change?” (and fortune cookie 1 – Your example will inspire others).
Second, I was on a call, yes I am always on the phone ??, and I was told to make sure I work with leadership to prioritize or I would risk taking on too much. Think about focus on less and make a lot of progress... vs... focus on a lot and make no progress. Sound and logical advice!! This is also in keeping with the common theme in my feedback to “What is the one thing you would suggest I change?” (and fortune cookie 2 – You can’t build a reputation on what you are going to do).
I tell you this as I take to heart all feedback I receive, even from fortune cookies, and work to implement and learn.
Challenge:?I propose to you all to invite feedback in real-time on your next 1:1 with leaders or peers. When people say they have an open door or want to hear from you, or come to them with anything – they generally mean it! This will help us all grow and be comfortable with conflict and using our voices.