So Someone You Care About Has Been Made Redundant? Here Is How You Can Help Them.

Most of us have been there at some point.

Word spreads quickly that someone in your circle has lost their job.

It could be a parent, friend, sibling, Aunty, or Uncle - it is bad news for them and you desperately want to help but you struggle to find the right words for the situation.

It is a difficult time for everyone and you can find yourself feeling guilty for your career successes or not want to talk about work, holidays, or whatever you have been up to socially in front of them anymore.

They notice you acting differently which further affects them – it can become messy quite quickly and place strain on relationships.

Being announced as the?LinkedIn Changemaker ?for Career Setbacks has had me thinking about how we can collectively attack the fight against job search misery from new angles and by taking fresh perspectives.?

There is a plethora of content on this great platform from Recruiters, HR Leaders, and Coaches aimed at helping job seekers with everything from CV to interviewing to networking.?

However, there is little to no guidance for people on how to positively support a loved one or friend who has been made redundant. This feels like a huge missed opportunity so we decided to address this head-on in this article and began researching the topic.

Just imagine the power of us all better equipped to engage and support the people around us who have suffered a recent job loss - our collective efforts could have a huge impact!

Watching someone you care about navigating through a job search process is very tough, particularly with the volatility of the current market. Way before I started career coaching, I witnessed firsthand the knock-on effect it had on people’s wellbeing. Stats suggest your friends are six times more likely to require mental health support whilst going through a redundancy process than when they are employed.

The impact felt by those directly connected to the affected person is not to be underestimated either. Children will be able to pick up on the anxiety at home and friends and family get worried sick and live with the frustration of not being able to “fix it” for the person they so desperately want to support.?

In my work as a Career Coach helping leaders in transition over the last 18 months, one thing has become abundantly clear: When you are dealing with job loss it is like managing a grieving process. It can be an emotional game of Snakes and Ladders.

Before we get into the tactical side of helping someone who has been made redundant understanding that what your loved one is dealing with is akin to grieving is a good place to start. Throughout their job search, they can find themselves going through the classic Kubler-Ross Grief Cycle.

It is an absolute rollercoaster of emotions.

As with many life events, it is hard to describe accurately unless you have been through it but in our book?The Job Search Playbook ?when describing our grief during redundancy we wrote:

"You think you are fine and then out of nowhere feelings of loss wash over you and stop you in your tracks."

This is important to remember as if you find the person you are looking to help to be snappy with you or lacking energy you can feel assured that it is not about you. I can still remember that debilitating feeling so well and it is little wonder that the longer people are on the job market the harder it becomes for them to interview well and ultimately get hired.

So, whilst we can’t “fix it” directly for our loved ones during the job search, what can we do?

We set out to answer this question using our own experiences, qualitative discussions with our?Executive Career Jump ?clients, and by surveying job seekers who are on the market right now.

Interestingly, there was one overriding theme that we found: Jobseekers are universally looking for?less advice but more support.

I guess we have all been guilty in the past of being the have-a-go Career Coach or even Therapist to those around us which is pretty dangerous, despite being underpinned by the best of intentions. We asked jobseekers if there was anything that was said to them by a family member that didn’t help and some very common phrases came out:

“Don’t worry, you will get snapped up quickly”

“Why don’t you just do Uber or Amazon driving”

“This will be the best thing that has ever happened to you”

I guess the problem with these phrases is that they trivialise the problem and can feel patronising even when that is the last thing you would want to convey. Losing a job affects every area of a persons life and while you shouldn’t be an enabler to negativity anything you express that suggests they should just “crack on” or “get over it” simply isn’t helpful.

So what is helpful I hear you cry?

Our research suggests there are?5 things you can do?to effectively support someone on the job market as follows:

1.?Ask Them for Help

This sounds counterintuitive but is very powerful. Asking for a favour or advice is a way of showing someone that you trust and respect them and is great for the person's self-concept at a time when their confidence is being tested. It is one of those situations whereby you can be generous by taking!

You could ask them for advice on a work situation, to mentor someone or simply to sort something out that is important to you. In doing so you give them a platform that feels great and contributes positively to their self-worth which is only going to help them get hired.

2.?Contribute to their Routine

When on the job market good routine and structure are your friend. The ideal is that you approach job searching as a full-time job and plan your activities to keep busy and satisfied that you are making progress towards your goals. To support friends or family you need to be thinking about how you can positively contribute to creating this routine.

It could be as simple as working out together twice a week, meeting for lunch every Friday to discuss how the week has gone for you both, or joining them on a fake commute every morning if you live nearby. Either way, the more you can help ensure people are getting up at a reasonable time, staying productive, and not just sat in their own head the better it will be for everyone.

3. Practice with Them

Interview practice is incredibly impactful and many jobseekers spoke about how they had worked with friends to practice their storytelling, competency-based answers, or presentations – I love this.

My recommendation is that you do this via video call if at all possible as it can be recorded and watched back before real interviews. We undertake this exact process with our clients and it results in huge gains on interview day. While it is painful to role play and watch the footage there is simply no substitute for rehearsal and the increased self-awareness that comes from it.

In addition to interview rehearsal, it is also great to help people practice exercises on getting clear on who they are, what brings them joy, and what they want. As one lady Yagini shared "People around me really helped challenge my self-perception in completing a SWOT on myself". At a time when people feel stuck in the fog helping another practice getting to a point of clarity is incredibly valuable.

4. Promote Them

Many roles are filled through advocacy, introductions, and referrals, and a large percentage of roles are never advertised. Championing your friend or family member in the job market can be huge whether it is making connections, tagging them in LinkedIn posts that might be of interest or simply taking the time to comment and engage with any content that they put out.

These micro gestures can assist in the process of getting your loved one in the room with decision-makers and compound over time to deliver job opportunities that they typically wouldn’t have otherwise been able to access.

Now that is powerful support!????????????????????????????????????????????????

5. Reassure Them

Unconditional support is the greatest gift you can give to a family member going through a change such as redundancy. Sometimes job seekers need to hear that they are great at what they do or?“I believe in you”?or?“You’ve got this”?particularly when their inner critic is in overdrive. It can also be about reassuring people on the job market that it is okay to take a break to reset and go again. So many of the people we spoke with on this topic mentioned that family had saved them from job search burnout and encouraged them to take time out at exactly the right time.

Through reassurance, we also protect our friends and family from bad decision-making, panic, or forgetting their value whilst job hunting. As Claire, one talented commercial leader commented?“Know Your Worth”?was the single most important thing a friend had said to her during her recent job search.?

Your words can provide a very timely reminder so keep your eyes and ears open and don't take the jobseeker's word for it when they inevitably try a bat you away by saying "I'm fine".

Please pass this article on to anyone who needs it and share your own experiences in the comments below. Together we can help make a big change and move one step closer to eliminating job search misery for good.

Thanks in advance to everyone who is supporting someone they care about through a job search right now and keep up the great work!

This article was written as part of the LinkedIn #Changemakers campaign – a campaign shining a spotlight on individuals using LinkedIn to drive genuine change in the world of work. To find out more about the partnership, read more?here . And if you want to join the conversation, share the one thing you’d like to change about the world of work in a post on LinkedIn with the hashtag?#ConversationsForChange .