So They Say You Have Sharp-elbows?

So you've been labeled "sharp-elbowed?" It stings, not just because it feels unjust, but because deep down, you know you're more generous than this label suggests. This perception has become a frustrating barrier to building trust and authentic relationships at work. The tough truth is that if you let this label linger - you can forget about sustainable success! I have heard this feedback about some of my coaching clients recently and here is where they and you should start to soften those sharp elbows.? Let's dig in.

The label "sharp-elbowed" often arises when you're seen as guarding information too closely or competing at the expense of collaboration. This perception can alienate colleagues and superiors alike, creating a cycle of mistrust and missed opportunities. It's a painful spot to be in, especially when you're actually willing to help and share but find yourself acting defensively out of insecurity. That’s right, I said it - you get triggered and your ego flares up. So here is what you need to do:?

Step 1: Identify Your Triggers

Real change starts with self-awareness. Reflect on moments when you've felt the need to protect your turf. Was it when a colleague received praise for a collaborative project, and you worried your contributions were overlooked? Maybe it was something else. Understanding these triggers is the first step toward addressing them.

Step 2: Challenge Your Assumptions

Behind every defensive reaction is an assumption. If you believe sharing information will lead to others outshining you, challenge this view. Adam Grant's research in Give and Take demonstrates that "givers" — those who contribute to others without expecting anything in return — not only achieve greater personal success but also foster environments where success is more sustainable. Teams with a culture of generosity, as his studies show, report a 50% increase in sales compared to their more selfish counterparts, underscoring the long-term benefits of being a giver.

Step 3: Adopt an Abundance Mindset

Stephen Covey's concept of an abundance mindset is pivotal here. It's the belief that there's plenty of success to go around. Shifting from a scarcity mindset, where every colleague's win feels like your loss, to an abundance mindset can transform your interactions. Embrace the idea that helping others succeed can amplify your own achievements. Indeed, employees with an abundance mindset are 33% more likely to report feeling engaged and motivated at work, illustrating the profound impact of this perspective shift on individual and collective productivity.

Practical Tips for Change

• Share Knowledge Generously: Start small. Offer a piece of information or assistance without being asked, and without expecting anything in return. This simple act can begin to shift perceptions.
• Celebrate Others: Publicly acknowledge the contributions of your colleagues. This fosters a culture of appreciation and diminishes the notion of you being self-serving.
• Seek Collaborative Opportunities: Actively look for projects where success relies on teamwork. This will not only showcase your ability to collaborate but also build trust with your peers.
• Reflect on Feedback: When you receive feedback, rather than becoming defensive, ask for specific examples. This shows a willingness to grow and change.

The label of being "sharp-elbowed" doesn't have to be a permanent mark on your professional reputation. Recognize your triggers, challenge your long-held assumptions, and embrace an abundance mindset. Then you aren’t just going to alter perceptions—you'll set the stage for a radical transformation in how you interact, collaborate, and succeed in the workplace.

So, what's your next move? Will you take the challenge to share more openly, celebrate the successes of others more loudly, and seek out collaborative opportunities with enthusiasm?