SO MUCH!
Here is an article I wrote in July 2005. The expectations we have for our children are not always reasonable and it can work similarly in business environments as well. We might also get busy and overlook taking a moment to recognize someone for an achievement. It's never too late to change these types of behaviors.
This article was published in a national publication and also by Alan Davidson (https://www.throughyourbody.com/members/newsletters/november2005/somuch.html) who saw it and asked permission to publish it on his website which made it easy for me to grab and repost here. I hope you like it.
SO MUCH!
“Blake, how much do you love your Aunt Karen?” my sister asked her small son while we were talking on the phone.
“So much” Blake responded.
“So much?” I asked. “Yes”, she said, “like, you know: I love her so much”.
It warmed my heart and made me realize that we do love like that – “so much” and at the same time, we expect – “so much”.
My nephew, Blake, just graduated from day care to pre-K. Imagine! Three years old and we are already attending graduations for him. What next, you might ask.
While this accomplishment in life might seem small compared to that of graduating from High School or College, it is still worthy of celebration. Along with all the stuff we perceive as “big” we must remember to teach our children to honor their baby steps.
Can you imagine the ripple-effect of the smiles and joy the parents, relatives, and teachers experienced as these little people walked proudly across the stage, in their golden caps and gowns, to collect their certificates? Heart-bursting pride and gratitude must have abounded and laughter must have been rampant!
It means a lot to these young folks to be recognized in this way. For example: unfortunately, I was unable to attend the celebration because of a previous commitment, but when I next saw Blake, and mentioned that I heard he had graduated, his response was: “Yes, I did. Where were you?” Of course, it caught me completely off guard that he would have missed me at his graduation – after all, he was only three. The first thing that came to my mind was that his Mom, had neglected to tell me about it in time. She received a slight rolling-of-the-eyes before he ran off to play.
We always expect “so much” from children. Not because we don’t love them “so much” but because our own lives are so hectic and full, we forget to honor them just for the moment in time. When we take the time to recognize their small victories and pause to let them know we noticed an important achievement, their faces simply glow! We take for granted some of the many things that are “new” for children. Accomplishing such things as tying their shoes for the first time, creating a piece of artwork that only they know what is, climbing up on their first piece of furniture, sharing their toys with another child, eating their first meal without getting food everywhere – these things and more are all examples of victories for children.
And, when we honor children in a kind and thoughtful manner, we are setting an example; an example they will eventually have the opportunity to pass on to someone else.
So taking a moment out of a busy day to acknowledge your child has so many rewards. The happy face is wonderful but the more a child is acknowledged and supported, the more they give of themselves in acknowledging others. The pass-it-on theory begins to vibrate throughout their lives, and eventually, one hopes, throughout the universe creating a peaceful, happy, and healthy environment.
We can teach children “so much”. Our children can teach us “so much” about life and joy and expectations. There is always “so much” going on in our lives.
When we catch ourselves expecting “so much” from our children, maybe we need to remember to live in the present with them, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering. They will grow up giving “so much” because you did.
Written by Karen Black
July 2005