“So much cooler online.”

The magnification and amplification of who we aren’t.

Fifteen years ago, country music singer Brad Paisley released a hit titled “So much cooler online.” ?It came with a pretty epic music video with lots of guest stars including Taylor Swift, Kellie Pickler, William Shatner, Jason Alexander, and Maurine McCormick. You can watch it here – but only after you finish reading. Paisley’s artistic point was that even back in the Myspace days, the lens of social media changed our very identities, sacrificing authenticity and replacing it with masks and lies. But beneath these lies remains a real person, relatively normal and basically unchanged. You will catch that point with the happy ending of the video if you watch it.

Fast forward to today, where we recently went through an extremely polarizing presidential election in the United States. As I scroll through my various social media platforms, I see a lot of unbridled hatred and enmity. Some really, really bad stuff. But this got me to thinking, how much is real? I don’t mean AI generated deep fakes; I mean people posing as outraged, when they are really leading semi-normal lives like the rest of us. Are we in the midst of a period when people are becoming “so much crueler online?” If so, what does it mean?

Anonymity breeds excess. The online masks we wear allow us to exceed social norms of discussion and decency.? But the more I think about it, I have to wonder if these represent the actual feelings of people, or do they simply represent the desire to be part of a tribe. If the first is true, we are certainly becoming more and more ideologically divided, a path that leads to nothing good. If the second is true, that we are simply driven by the desire for meaning inside a tribe, there is much more hope.

Of course, in either case, we risk activating the lunatic fringe, a term made famous by the Canadian rock band Red Rider in 1981. The danger of online rhetoric from either perspective is that some will take IRL – into real life.

Tribalism

Tribalism has deep roots in human history and psychology, evolving as a survival mechanism in ancient societies. In early human history, small, close-knit groups were crucial for survival. Living in tribes provided protection from external threats, enabled efficient resource sharing, and facilitated cooperation. This early form of tribal organization allowed people to work together for hunting, gathering, and defending against predators and rival groups. The social bonds within these tribes fostered a sense of identity, loyalty, and trust, which was essential for survival.

Psychologically, tribalism is linked to the brain's natural tendency to categorize and identify with a group. Research in evolutionary psychology suggests that humans evolved to be social creatures who favor in-group loyalty and have a predisposition to view outsiders with suspicion. This bias likely arose as a survival strategy: groups that worked well together and were wary of strangers had a better chance of thriving. Social identity theory, developed by psychologist Henri Tajfel in the 1970s, explains how people develop a sense of belonging by identifying with groups, which enhances self-esteem and reinforces loyalty to the in-group.

Modern tribalism extends beyond survival needs. Today, it manifests in various social, political, and cultural affiliations, from sports teams and national identities to political parties and online communities. Tribalism can bring a sense of belonging and purpose, but it also fuels us-versus-them dynamics, which can lead to conflict, prejudice, and even violence when different groups compete for power, resources, or ideological dominance. As the world grows more interconnected, the tendency toward tribalism remains strong, shaping how people align with others and, at times, intensifying divisions across societies.

While this obviously leads to the unravelling of our culture, the question becomes who benefits?

Cui Bono

Cui bono means "who benefits?" in Latin. It is often used to ask who gained an advantage from a crime or situation. This can help to identify suspects or motives. However, the term can also be used to ask what good or benefits come from something.

Social media, the tribes we join and the masks we wear, amplifies the messages of a few ideological, political, and profiteering elites who use us for their own benefit. In our desire to be a part of something, we increase their reach, and their damage. Along the way, we lose touch with who we really are, as humans, and that is perhaps the biggest threat to real meaning in our lives.

If we choose, as individuals, not to be manipulated, this all goes away. At that point Cui Bono means all of us.