So long, Amazon. I quit.

Two days after Andy Jassy announced the 5-day RTO, I quit 亚马逊 , but not for the reasons you think. Actually, I don’t mind being in the office, and I relocated to meet the 3-day a week in-office policy. What I did mind was the change I saw when I rejoined Amazon.

I had six years of Amazon tenure before being laid off in January 2023, and I thought I knew the company I chose to rejoin. However, an accretion of poor experiences led me to resign after only 11 weeks into my round 2.

It started with the layoff.

The Layoff

Like 18,000 other people, I received an impersonal email the morning of January 18, 2023. Less than an hour later, all my access was gone, and I had to wait until 2PM for a 15-minute "Chat" with an HR representative and my boss's boss. At the time, I had just learned of a major health concern and was trying to get a diagnosis. When I got the layoff notice, my first thought was about maintaining my health insurance in case I faced the worst case scenario: a brain tumor.

When my "chat" came, the HR representative read a boilerplate statement, my boss's boss (who had only been in my reporting line a few weeks) said nothing, and I asked my question. "Is there any way to keep my health insurance for longer? I might have a brain tumor, and I don't know what I'll do without health insurance." The HR representative expressed sympathy and told me I could use COBRA. I expressed concern about the cost of COBRA and shared again the potentially life-changing position I was in. She reiterated I could use COBRA and asked if I had any other questions. I did not. I left that call scared and angry. I had given six years to Amazon and implemented programs that saved millions of dollars. All I got at the end of it was 15 minutes and no help?

I searched for other internal opportunities and received a few offers, but they would require me to relocate to Nashville, Austin, or Seattle. While I wasn't ready to leave Amazon, I also wasn't ready to move again, as I had just relocated a few months prior to be closer to family. With a heavy heart, I decided to take the severance.

Round 2

When a former colleague reached out about an Amazon opportunity earlier this year, I was enticed by the opportunity to rejoin, despite my layoff experience. I liked working at Amazon, and after almost a year of being my own boss, I was ready to be an employee again. My colleague prompted me to look into Amazon open roles again, and I found some that seemed promising. Excited for a potential round 2 at Amazon, I reached out to hiring managers on LinkedIn and scored a phone screen.

Little did I know that my interview experience would include the first of the many unfortunate events that led to my resignation.

Interview Experience

My phone screen went well, and I was invited to complete an online work assessment and a writing sample. After passing the work assessment, I moved on to final round interviews, which Amazon refers to as the "interview loop." The interview loop includes five hour-long interviews with the hiring manager, three team members or stakeholders, and a Bar Raiser (BR). Because the first unfortunate event during the interview experience involves a BR, I'll share some background on who BRs are and what their role is on the hiring team.

BRs are specially trained interviewers who ensure Amazon "raises the bar" with every new hire. They advise the hiring team on structuring the interview loop, lead the interview loop debrief, and champion good candidate experiences. To qualify as a BR, you must have completed at least 25 final round interviews, apply and be accepted as a BR-in-Training, and graduate after completing at least 10 interviews under a BR mentor. It's a rigorous process that I completed during my last year at Amazon.

During my interview with my loop's BR, I asked how the culture had changed since the 2023 layoffs. She knew I was part of those layoffs yet still answered that the layoffs were a “good thing” because they challenged her team “to do more with less.” I was taken aback. This was likely the most experienced interviewer on this loop and the person entrusted to create a good candidate experience. That answer was a punch in the gut. Reeling, I completed the remaining interviews.

The next week I received the team’s decision. They felt I would be a better fit for an open Sr Program Manager role on their team, not the Sr Product Manager role I initially interviewed for. The recruiter said I could speak with the hiring manager and potentially get an offer. I gave him my availability. A few hours later I got his reply: actually, I needed to do another full interview loop.

Again, I was taken aback. I was a Sr Program Manager at Amazon for five years. I shared my professional experience during the six hours of interviews I had already completed. What new information would the hiring team gain with another five hours of interviews?

I sent a simple reply: I don’t want to do another full loop. Best of luck filling this role.

But I still had hope in Amazon. During my initial time at Amazon, I interviewed over 130 candidates, and my interview experience did not align to Amazon’s “the candidate is a customer” value. I decided to share feedback with my recruiter, in hopes of influencing the hiring team to create better candidate experiences in the future. I emphasized the significant investment I and the hiring team had already made in the interview process as well as the minuscule likelihood another round would reveal anything new. It would be another nine hours of interviewing and debriefing the same information.

My recruiter understood my perspective, lobbied the Bar Raiser on my behalf, and secured permission to make the hiring decision based on one conversation with the hiring manager. I talked with the hiring manager and received an offer, which I declined.

A few weeks later, I accepted a different offer from another team. Excited and believing the disappointment behind me, I started planning my move. Unfortunately, we’d only just begun.

New Hire Experience

A few weeks before my start date, Amazon asked for an address to ship my computer. I was moving and unsure where I would be when the computer arrived. I asked if I could pick it up at the office, where I would be on my first day and for at least three days per week after that. No, it must be shipped but not to my office building. Confused, I decided: I’ll make this work. I put my office’s address for the shipment and hoped for the best. (It worked out, and I retrieved the shipment from the office mailroom on my first day.)

The week before my start date, I asked for my desk assignment. My boss told me the office had no assigned desks, just “agile seating.” I could find a desk on my assigned floor and perhaps run into some coworkers.? Disappointed, I told myself: I can make this work. I’ve been to this building before. I’ll leave my tchotchkes at home.

During my first week, all of my onboarding was virtual. Why had I relocated my life to participate in virtual meetings? Annoyed, I thought: I can make this work. Things will get better.

During my second week, I attended a team offsite meeting and met my teammates, all of whom worked from different offices in different cities. A few hours in, it was evident that the team lacked a clear mission and leadership. Apprehensive, I reminded myself: I could make this work. I’d helped other teams develop vision and direction.

During my third week, I asked my boss about starting the content strategy work he hired me to do. He told me to hold off, as that work might go to another person on another team. “Why?” I asked. “We’re the content team.” He explained that this other person, despite having no background in learning or content strategy, had a “natural affinity.” Concerned, I told myself: I want to make this work. If I quit, I’ll have to return my sign-on bonus and pay for my move.

During my fourth week, I got a last minute meeting invitation from my boss titled “Chat.” I flashed back to the previous year when I got a similar invite and was laid off. My boss rambled for a few minutes and finally got to the punchline: our team was dissolved. I had a new boss and potentially a new job. The new boss reached out to welcome me. She needed some time to wrap her head around taking on new work and new people. Cautiously optimistic, I thought: let me see if I can make this work.

During my ninth week, I attended another offsite meeting with my new team to map out our work. Once we were done, I saw little resemblance to the work I signed on for. Disappointed, I realized: I don’t want to make this work. This isn’t the place I remembered. Amazon has lost my trust.

At the end of my eleventh week, I resigned.

The price of leaving? $30,000 owed to Amazon, an unnecessary move, and a year-long lease in a state I have no ties to.

Lessons Learned

I thought I was returning to a place I knew and a job I would enjoy. I was wrong, and I learned some valuable lessons:

• Listen to yourself. Even if you think you know what you’re getting into, pay close attention to how you’re feeling. If it doesn’t feel right, it might not be right. I had plenty of clues that the Amazon I knew and the Amazon I joined were different places, yet I didn’t allow those data to disconfirm my beliefs.
• Make decisions based on the life you want, not the job that might get you there. I don’t regret moving for this job, but moving here doesn’t align to where I see myself long-term. I made decisions through a job-lens instead of a life-lens.
• Have a way out and don’t be afraid to use it. Historically, I’ve continued on in jobs that weren’t serving me because I was worried about money. I don’t feel that way anymore. I’ve spent years saving and investing, so I could extract myself from situations that weren’t working. Certainly, I’m in a privileged position, but I think there are many other people in similar positions who could make similar choices if they let go of their fear.

The Bigger Issues

I said at the top of this article that I didn't quit because of RTO-5. It's a symptom of a larger problem. Bain’s The Founder’s Mentality is helpful lens to synthesize my experience, using one southward and one westward wind.

Issue 1: Lost voices from the front line

Amazon says it wants to be the world’s best employer, yet it's putting employee experience in the backseat. RTO is an example of chasing a bottomline over listening to the front line. I was expected to in the office three days per week, a mandate so important that I relocated from Atlanta to Nashville. Yet, my experience demonstrated that Amazon isn’t prioritizing an office-first employee experience.

• Could I pick up my work computer at the office on my first day? No. It must be shipped, but not to an Amazon building.
• Could I park at the office? Good luck. There’s a two-year waiting list.
• Where’s my desk? Nowhere. “Agile seating” meant each day I had to find desk on my assigned floor. If I wanted to store work stuff at work (like the ever necessary office sweater, if you know you know), I could get a locker, which might be on a different floor.
• Would I encounter teammates at the office? Absolutely not. They all worked at different offices in different cities. Meet them on virtual calls.
• Will there be any in-person experiences at the office? Nope. Be at the office your first day to set up your computer during a 2-hour long virtual call. For the rest of the week, join this 300-person, day-long virtual training.

When I started at Amazon in 2017, a majority of the people I worked with on a daily basis were in Seattle with me. Virtual meetings were rare. It’s not 2017 anymore. The pandemic reshaped how we work, and going back to previous ways of working alienates the people who joined or continued with Amazon during the pandemic.

Issue 2: Erosion of accountability

Andy’s letter talked about removing layers of leadership. I don’t think that solves the problem. Amazon has proliferated layers AND lackluster leaders, creating an environment with less accountability. Two of my experiences highlight this westward wind:

• During my third week, I attended a team offsite meeting. It was evident a few hours in that the team lacked a clear mission and leadership. We sat in those meetings for three days, with no explicit outcomes or progress. How had this team been in existence for over six months without a clear mission? Why had our team spent over $10,000 on a meeting with no outcomes?
• During my fourth week, my team was dissolved. Apparently, the leadership team had been contemplating this change since Q4 of last year. Despite having this end goal, my boss hired four new people in the three months leading up to the team’s dissolution. Why had he hired people into roles and onto a team that would shortly no longer exist, eating up recruiting and hiring resources?

I know people smarter and more experienced than I made similar observations in the past, and Amazon recaptured its founder’s mentality. I worry Amazon’s current choices are only hastening its descent from scale insurgent to struggling bureaucracy. Instead of the exciting, fast-paced environment I remember, I experienced a place bogged down in pointless meetings and middling middle managers.