So, it's ADHD! What next?

Whether you are newly diagnosed, self identifying or starting to explore what ADHD means to you, it can be quite an overwhelming time.

I felt a lot of emotions when I was first diagnosed with ADHD.

Relief.

Grief.

Confusion.

Overwhelm.

There's such a lot to process and understand and knowing where to start can often be a big hurdle. It can be difficult to know where to look for the support that you might need, or even know what you might need!

So, I thought it might be helpful to put together some resources that I've found useful on my way that I hope you might find helpful too.

Things to think about if you're at the start of your exploration

Be kind to yourself

I'm putting this first because I think it's the most important. ADHD means that you can't always control how your brain wants to work, which can be really frustrating. Showing yourself compassion when things are challenging can go a long way to supporting yourself in the best way.

When you realise that it's been ADHD at play all along, it can be really common to then find that your ADHD traits become even more noticeable. This might be because you are more tuned into them or because you are learning to un-mask things that you may have tried to manage in different ways, and noticing these things can also be hard. Give yourself as much love as you can, you're learning how to be you again.

Learn about your brain

I felt so confused after I'd been diagnosed, I had an answer but still so many questions! Learning about the impact that ADHD can have on our executive functions (things like how we plan and organise tasks, how we manage our attention, how we regulate our emotions, our working memory and the way that we monitor all those things) and what's actually happening in our brains was really helpful. This means going beyond just describing our traits and starting to understand the why as well as the what.

When we understand our ADHD lens, we can then start to notice how certain things show up for us specifically. We're all really different and what makes sense to one person might not resonate at all for someone else. Learning about you might look like being aware of your energy levels, (you might find my last newsletter helpful here ), things that can help to keep you motivated, accommodations that might help, what self care looks like for you - essentially all the things that help you to be your best you.

Take your time, and remember that it will take time to build up this kind of user manual of you, so remember to be kind to yourself along the way!

Find community

I've always found it difficult to make friends, and before I started talking about my diagnosis, I didn't have any other ADHD or autistic friends. I thought I was this absolute mess that couldn't cope with life, that everyone else just seemed to know what to do and there must be something so wrong with me.

After my diagnosis, I knew I needed support and so I had 1:1 therapy and also group ADHD coaching. The therapy helped me to work through things from my past but the group coaching was where I finally felt really, properly seen. I found myself in a space with other people who had experiences similar to mine, where I could share without feeling like I was about to say something weird.

This continued when I retrained as a coach myself and I genuinely feel emotional when I think about the fact that I now have friends who 'get me'. Living with undiagnosed ADHD can be really lonely and having other people to share with REALLY helps.

So, find your people, whether it's an online community, a workplace support group, ADHD-friendly co-working spaces, university groups, interest-based groups for hobbies, they're out there waiting for you.

Share your needs

As you start to understand more about how your ADHD impacts you and what you need, if you feel comfortable, ask for what you need. Is it a quiet space to work from? A change in working hours? Understanding from a partner?

Remember that ADHD isn't linear. What we need today might be completely different to what we need tomorrow so your needs will likely change and it's okay to ask for different things at different times.

We might not always get what we need and that can feel hard too. We can't control how other people respond to us, we can only try to advocate for ourselves in the best way we can. If things feel hard, that's when we can try and be kind to ourselves again.

Get support where you need it

That might be from your GP, your psychiatrist, a therapist or coach, your workplace, from friends and family and more. You deserve to be supported if there are areas of your life where you need some help.

Some resources that might help

Books

ADHD Explained by Dr. Edward Hallowell

This book helped me to understand so much about how my brain worked and it shares strategies that can help you to be more of yourself. It's written in bite sized chapters with lots of visual information that you can dip in and out of which feels super ADHD friendly.

A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD by Sari Solden and Michelle Frank

I love this book. It's part workbook, part ADHD guide and helps you to start thinking in a more compassionate and accepting way about yourself. Genuinely, one of my favourites and although the title says it's for women, it's helpful for anyone looking to harness more self compassion.

We're All Neurodiverse by Sonny Jane Wise

A brilliant book written from lived experience that talks about the language of neurodiversity along with the importance of difference over deficit. It's extremely neuro-affirming and covers a lot of information in an easy to digest format.

Podcasts

The ADHD Women's Wellbeing Podcast hosted by Kate Moryoussef .

This is tailored for women (although again, I'd argue the content is valuable for everyone) and considers the role of hormones, perimenopause, menopause etc. and the impact that this can have on ADHD alongside a whole range of guests that talk about topics like workplace accommodations, motivation, burnout and much more.

The ADHD Adults Podcast hosted by James Brown, Alex Connor and Sam Brown

This podcast considers a lot of the science around ADHD but is also very funny, hosted by two friends, James and Alex alongside James' wife, Sam, who all have ADHD.?

Neurodiversity with Theo Smith hosted by Theo Smith

A podcast to accompany Theo's book, co-written with Professor Amanda Kirby, (Neurodiversity at Work ) where he talks to a wide range of people and focuses particularly on inclusion in the workplace.

Websites

ADDitude

This is a great online magazine that has so many articles and resources to read around and they're very good at highlighting the differences that women may experience in terms of ADHD/neurodivergence.?They also host regular free webinars that look at a variety of different topics to support your ADHD life.

ADHD UK

A charity with a wealth of resources from how to navigate diagnosis to finding an ADHD coach to exploring strategies to support your ADHD. They also run regular, donation based, support groups where you can connect with other people and talk about topics like parenting, employment, organisation and much more.

Access to Work

This is a government initiative to help those who are disabled or have a health condition to access work. It provides funding up to ￡69,000 per year for things like coaching, therapy, software, travel and more. You don't need a formal diagnosis and you can apply whether you're employed or self-employed.

I'm really happy to chat through the Access to Work process with you if you need support or aren't sure where to start, email me at [email protected] .

Coaching

I've had some amazing coaching in the last few years and loved the process so much, I completed ICF accredited training so that I could add coaching to my consultancy.

Even after I had been diagnosed, I still had no idea what that really meant, how to work with my brain, how to understand my needs and how to communicate my boundaries. Coaching helped me to reframe lots of the stories I had told myself throughout my life, understand how my ADHD impacted me and gave me the strategies and tools I needed to feel like me again.

You can find out more about ADHD coaching, what we could work on together and the impact that it could have for you on my ADHD coaching page here.