So I ran 14 miles through Chapel Hill the other day

I have never claimed to be a runner.?

For the longest time, I struggled to merely finish a turkey trot.

However, like many other washed-up athletes facing an identity crisis in early adulthood, I have recently turned to lacing up my Hokas, throwing on a Big Bootie Mix and racking up some miles.?(Ya kno, just to feel something...)

And this past Saturday morning I completed an iconic Chapel Hill race and my longest distance to date.

Here are my thoughts on the race, presented through the ol’ reliable “rose, bud, thorn” format.

(Imma do them out of order doe. There are no rules round here.)

Thorns:

Waking up before 7 a.m. on a Saturday morning

Don’t get me wrong, I love waking up early just as much as any other morning person and I understand this is typical for a race. I mean, you sign up knowing exactly the date and time the race begins. But you wanna know what is particularly criminal about this date and this time: it was the morning following senior bar golf. (For those who don't know what senior bar golf is, take a look at the graphic below.) Whoever was behind this grand idea, that one really stung.

The chute

In order to complete the Double Down Challenge, runners must pass the four mile finish line and be corralled to the start line of the Tar Heel 10-Miler. Therefore, as you approach the four mile finish line, you are wrangled into a separate narrow fence-enclosed chute. You proceed to run the footpath between the Fetzer and Woolen buildings.?What they don’t tell you: this is adds an extra 0.4 miles to the total distance. AND THERE ARE STAIRS. WHY ARE THERE STAIRS.?

The MC telling Double Down runners they look tired

Yep. You read that correctly. The hype man at races blaring music and yelling encouraging phrases into a microphone? Yeah, he told us we looked tired. That’s just what I needed to hear as I passed through the same start line for the second time!

Hills

There is a reason they call Chapel Hill, Chapel Hill. And boy, was it apparent Saturday morning.?The last two miles of the race feel like you're summiting Everest.

Where tf was the water

Plz tell me why every time I grabbed a water cup, it contained shitty watered-down red gatorade. After slowing down and weaving through crowds for an intricately choreographed water cup handoff with a volunteer, this is not what I wanted to pour on my head.?

The tornado evacuation that occurred mid-race

So you're telling me, you are going to evacuate runners 8 miles into the race when there is not a single lightning strike in sight… then have them restart??

Laurel. Hill.

I’m just gonna leave this one here.

Roses:

Having the bestest supporters

I am so grateful I have amazing friends. They rock – just look at the signs they made.

I completed a race that I’ve been working toward since freshman year

This race has taken me four whole years to run. You see, there were a few road blocks I had to face:

• Freshman year = that whole pandemic, COVID-19 thing hit
• Sophomore year = gap semester, my ass was off in Colorado
• Junior year = ACL tear, this one was tough

This was my final year to complete a goal 19-year-old Jill set… and the final chance to put that $60 race credit to work.?

Mama Ryan came to town

My mom’s a beast. She’s chipping away at her goal of completing one marathon in each of the 50 states. She also paid for the post-race brunch…

Three medals babyyyy

More shit that collects dust in the back of my closet!

Bud:

I'm one step closer to running my ultramarathon

Just read this.