So Confused !!!

I’m going through a strange phase – it’s something I’m not used to and I’m feeling a bit bumfuzzled. I am finding myself in this situation more and more these days and what triggered this latest episode was Monday 8 March, International Women’s Day (IWD)

On this topic, and the topic of every other “Something Day” I feel a split personality coming on. I appreciate that these events and initiatives are needed to keep equality at the forefront, to ensure messages are not forgotten and to focus on action rather than words, but I also feel strongly that, in the case of IWD, I am not a special sub-class looking for attention or to be awarded for my achievements by the social construct of a predominantly male society.  I often hear definitions of diversity and inclusion as ... diversity is being invited to the party and inclusion is being asked to dance – I don’t want to just be asked to dance like some Jane Austen wallflower, I want to go to a party where the environment is such that I can ask others or indeed dance on my own. 

I am a partner, a friend, a colleague, a family member, a senior manager, a neighbour and a bloody good baker …. I also happen to be a woman (not a girl or a lady please, and never a “babe”) and I want to be able to be all these things through my own filters and be accepted as such. I don’t want to feel like I have to be given permission, and I don’t want others to feel this either.

As far as the world of women is concerned, for me there are at least two different “worlds” at play. Firstly the world where women are more likely to have child or parent care responsibilities, where the pandemic has shown the cracks in home life of trying to juggle everything, where investment in rebound industries is focused on those which mainly employ men, e.g. construction, where the care sector, mostly staffed by women, has not been respected for the service it delivers, where school is, for many, not the nurturing place of safety it should be, and where male (and some female) ignorance and arrogance is unforgivable. And secondly the world where many women really do have a terrible life; a life without choice or education, a life of violence I can’t imagine; a life where submissiveness and acquiescence is the least of their problems, and let’s not forget that you do not need to leave our shores, or even your High Street, to witness this.

I want everyone to be appreciated for who they are – not what they are, and my concerns about “Something Days” is that we focus is on this distinction for 24 hours and then, like a shallow social circus we pack up and move on.

Equality, as we know, is a huge subject and often we are blinded by the complexities and dichotomies of changing the world, and trying to deal with the social and economic injustices which surround us, either in person or through the media. Only today I’m reading that according to the report by the Commission on Race and Ethnic Disparities, Britain is a “model” on race and yet other headlines tell us that footballer Thierry Henry has “quit from social media” due to racist abuse.

So what do we do, wring our hands, wear sackcloth and rub ashes in our hair? No, we get our fingers out and take action – all day, everyday!

As we know a fruit delivery and a lunchtime mindfulness session does not a wellbeing strategy make; so why would we expect one day every now and then on race or gender or ethnic diversity to be the total sum of our ED&I approach?

I don’t care what you call it: put your hand up, choose to challenge, shout it out or have a quiet word – do something. We sometimes consider that those who use bias language or who are ignorant or rude work somewhere else, they are over there somewhere, nowhere near us – well, chances are “these people” work somewhere, and they might work for or with you. And it’s not only about being reactive, open discussions, learning sessions and team presentations are all making a significant impact on office conversations, understanding and relationships but we need to do more.

As leaders and colleagues, we have significant influence, positive and negative, on those around us; we have an audience at our fingertips and if we can educate, inform and clarify for one person each day, the ripple effects will eventually be tidal.

According to the World Economic Forum gender parity will not be attained for almost a century – how do you fancy giving it a helping hand?