Snoring, psychology and problem-solving: A Personal Journey Through Denial to Solutions

Like many people, I was likely snoring throughout most of my life without being aware of it. This common but often overlooked condition affects millions of adults worldwide, impacting both their sleep and life quality and that of their bed partners. Before I begin, I have to say that I never thought I would share personal stories on this platform, but in this case I couldn't resist. What makes my story particularly interesting is not the snoring itself, but the fact that this seemingly common occurrence led me to an unexpected revelation about problem-solving and innovation. What started as a personal health consideration evolved into a fascinating journey of discovery and professional insight. Let’s dive in and start with the personal story.

Personal Story

A few years back, I discovered I was snoring—a condition I'd likely had since my early 30s. My initial reaction was dismissive: "Well, it happens sometimes... what can I do?" Over the years, however, it gradually worsened and began affecting both my life and my family's. As you can imagine, my amazing better half wasn't very happy about it.

I finally decided to address the issue and scheduled several doctor appointments. The opinions varied widely: some recommended surgery, others warned it would only be a temporary fix, and a few claimed it wouldn't help at all. Eventually, I was referred to a sleep clinic for a proper sleep study. The results revealed I had Central Sleep Apnea—a condition where the brain temporarily stops sending “breathing” signals. During these episodes, my heart rate would spike to compensate for the lack of oxygen. The concerning part is that this pattern is accelerating my heart's aging.

Sounds scary, right? That diagnosis pushed me to search harder for a solution.

I turned to Chinese medicine, which became my first turning point. The doctor pointed out that my previous attempts only treated symptoms, not the root cause—my lifestyle. I left with a month's supply of herbs, $500 lighter but optimistic about finally having a solution. The prescription was straightforward: lose weight and strengthen throat muscles. I was confident that with the medication and some light exercises, my problems would disappear within a month. Another “pill solution”.

Well, a month later, nothing improved. If anything, it had gotten worse. This became my second turning point. The one valuable lesson I took from the Chinese medicine doctor was that I needed to address the root cause.

I committed to a consistent gym routine. Now I exercise intensely 3-5 times a week, whether at the gym or through other sports, pushing myself hard for an hour each session.

The workout regimen has made me feel fantastic, boosted my productivity, and brought many other benefits. But what about the snoring? I've been tracking my sleep for the past few months. The two charts below show my sleep recordings—one from a couple of weeks ago on the left, and last night's on the right. Those dots you see represent snoring episodes.

See the difference? It took some time and effort, but my condition was gradually getting better. While I only have two weeks of saved data, trust me—it was even worse before.

How is it related to problem-solving?

So, why am I sharing my snoring story, and how does it relate to problem-solving?

This perfectly mirrors how we tackle problems in life and at work. We instinctively search for quick and easy solutions, but they rarely work. Even when we temporarily mask the symptoms, we often create new problems along the way. Only when a problem severely impacts us, sometimes reaching a complete crisis situation, do we finally commit the necessary time and effort to solve it. Problem-solving is inherently challenging and time-consuming, regardless of field, environment, or context. Without proper investment of resources, we simply cannot achieve the desired outcomes.

It reminds me of "5 stages of grief" but in problem-solving:

1. Denial: "I don't snore that badly" or "It's not really a problem" - This is where many of us start, refusing to acknowledge there's an issue that needs addressing.
2. Anger: "Why is this happening to me?" - Frustration sets in when we realize the problem is real and affecting our lives. We still don’t do anything about it though.
3. Bargaining: "Maybe if I just take these pills..." or "Perhaps this quick fix will work" - We look for easy solutions, hoping to avoid the harder work.
4. Depression: "Nothing seems to work" - When quick fixes fail, we might feel discouraged and hopeless about finding a solution.
5. Acceptance: Finally acknowledging that real change requires commitment and consistent effort.

The true problem-solving process can only begin when we reach stage 5 — Acceptance. Only at this point do we stop reacting emotionally and start thinking logically.

Dealing with complex challenges at work follows this exact same pattern—for everyone, without exception. When tasked with solving a problem, our first reaction is often denial. We tell ourselves and others that it's impossible, untrue, or we try to avoid taking responsibility altogether. Then we get angry at the situation—yet another thing to deal with. Next, we search for quick fixes, hoping the problem will simply go away. Eventually, we realized that none of our attempts worked. Only then, after wasting valuable time, do we finally submit to reality and engage our prefrontal cortex.

The journey from denial to acceptance varies with the problem's complexity and urgency. Counter-intuitively, the more urgent an issue is, the longer it takes to accept that real work is needed. This paradox occurs because urgency doesn't equal speed—higher urgency creates more stress, which delays the activation of our thinking brain while our amygdala consumes all our mental energy.

We have seen organizations that couldn't reach acceptance for months—and in some cases, even years.

Ego

One question worth answering is "Why does this happen to us?" The answer is simple:

This is all because of our ego! It’s unbelievably frustrating and it happens all the time. “This is not me”, “I know better”, “My solution is the right one”, “I don’t need help”, “Don’t worry all fixed”, and so on. The best one of all is “I know how to solve it”. All of these are symptoms of overpowering ego.

Our ego makes us resist acknowledging problems because it threatens our self-image. We like to see ourselves as capable and in control, so admitting we have a problem that requires significant effort to solve feels like admitting weakness or failure. This resistance manifests in several ways:

• We convince ourselves the problem isn't that serious or will resolve itself
• We blame external factors rather than taking responsibility
• We seek quick fixes to maintain the illusion of competence
• We avoid asking for help because it might make us appear inadequate

Only when the pain of the problem exceeds the pain of our ego do we finally drop our defenses and approach the situation rationally. This is why personal and professional growth and effective problem-solving often require us to set aside our ego and embrace reality. Then and only then can we properly organize our thoughts and focus on the right problem with accurate information at hand.

Revelation

When faced with complex challenges, people often sit back passively waiting for that magical "aha" moment to strike, rather than actively working through the problem-solving process. The reality is that in complex engineering challenges, revelation comes as a series of interconnected insights that build upon each other. Unlike the popular notion of sudden "eureka" moments, the revelation manifests as a clear understanding of the system's fundamental behavior and the precise mechanisms needed to achieve desired results.

• Systematic analysis
• Recognition of subtle relationships between seemingly unrelated components
• Detailed understanding of root causes
• Integration of multiple perspectives and expertise from different domains
• and so on

The engineering revelation process is more like assembling a complex puzzle than having a single moment of clarity. Each piece of understanding contributes to a larger picture, eventually leading to a comprehensive solution. This methodical approach helps ensure that solutions are both robust and reliable.

The systematic approach is the complete opposite of ego-driven mentality. While ego leads us to wait passively for magical "aha" moments and quick solutions, true problem-solving demands a methodical, humble process of building understanding piece by piece through systematic analysis. Rather than accepting that complex problems require methodical work, ego pushes us to chase quick fixes or sudden breakthroughs that rarely materialize.

Cost

I could continue this discussion for hours with countless examples, but let's focus on what these delays actually cost us.

When dealing with personal or family challenges, the costs typically manifest as frustration and bad relationships—money often takes a back seat in these situations.

In the workplace, however, delays in addressing issues—whether in planned product development, innovation, or incident response—directly translate to financial losses. Consider semiconductor manufacturing, where inefficiencies or incidents can cost millions of dollars per week. Imagine yourself that your team remains stressed and reactive for weeks or months. You do the math.

The sooner you or your team reaches acceptance, the faster you'll become productive, resolve challenges, and see positive results. And like any skill, the more you practice this approach, the better you'll become at it.

Last Thoughts

While writing this, I've been reflecting on what people say about business development, particularly startups. They emphasize the importance of perseverance and resilience in facing problems and stress. This is true—to an extent.

I believe the people who truly overcome challenges (which arrive in bulk and without notice) are those who remain true to themselves—those capable of setting aside their ego and accepting reality. These individuals can fully utilize their prefrontal cortex.

Does this mean everyone else is a lost cause? Not at all!

There are tools, methods, and processes designed to help us overcome ego-driven behaviors and emotional reactions that cloud our judgment. These tools create a structured environment for systematic problem-solving, even when our instincts push us toward quick fixes. Success lies in our willingness to embrace these tools and trust the process, rather than letting our ego guide our decisions.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this topic.

Please share your comments below. ??

? PRIZ Guru 2024 - priz.guru