#snippets_from_the_sofa | episode 4

Parts and Maps

Parts and maps can be used to understand ourselves better, and help us to step into solving our problems from a third perspective.

I wonder if you’ve ever had a problem in your life that you couldn’t figure out how to solve? Or you were “stuck” trying to make a decision on something, maybe a big life changing decisions (such as moving career) or something smaller, like whether to buy a certain pair of shoes.

Maybe you’ve tried writing a logical list of pros and cons. Perhaps you’ve considered what sacrifices the new job will need from you and what you might gain from it. Maybe you’ve looked at colours , different styles, different price points of shoes on the internet and you’re overwhelmed. Maybe you’ve even gone into the store, tried the shoes on and decided they’re too expensive, or they didn’t look right or that you wanted something else.

At the end of the day, you wanted to move forward, and you wanted to understand whether or not you should “do something” or not. And yet here you are - exactly where you were - stuck in some way - or looking for an answer that has eluded you.

If you’re reading this series (and thank you for doing so!) you’ll remember in #episode_2 I talked about parts and systems. A coach trained in parts and systems is able to hold space for their clients in sessions - allowing them to create a map. The map then enables a client to do something different. To embody the energy of that part of themselves or the system. And in this space, some new knowledge emerges.

I’ve got about ten years experience of working in this way - through the work I’ve done in men’s circles and now more formally in my coaching training.

But what might that actually look like in a coaching session?

The first part of the session would involve looking at the topic. Let’s choose moving career. I (as coach) would then partner with the client - exploring what outcome they would like to achieve.

As part of that exploration, some parts and systems may come up. Perhaps a belief that you don’t have the skills needed to move roles, perhaps you see yourself now today, and you’d like to envision yourself in the future, perhaps there’s money involved, perhaps there is a family that relies on your income, perhaps the new role is in a new company and you don’t know anything about them, perhaps you’re worried that you may have less job security, perhaps the new role has a longer commute, perhaps you’re worried the new career isn’t aligned with your higher purpose.

So. There’s a whole load of parts and systems above. I would work with the client and we’d create the space to understand what they’d really like to look at. I may check that this is aligned with the outcome they want. And this might have changed. I would then check in with the client if they wanted to create a map.

Perhaps my client chose four parts. We’d then place those four parts in a map, which can be created anywhere in the space that you have available. I would then go through a process of exploring this map with my client in an embodied way. I work with them in the field of knowing, and together we’d tease out some learning, and usually (but not always) this knowing comes from a place that they did not know existed, but the magic of this knowing is that it feels familiar.

Like it’s almost been there all the time waiting to be discovered, like a book that you read but can’t quite remember the title or author, but it’s there on your bookshelf waiting to be rediscovered.

The last part of the process may involve making a move. Moving the elements within the map. And this might bring new learning (or not). All the time I hold the space, constantly checking in my mind if this is still aligned with the outcome the client wanted.

The final part of the session is to anchor the learnings, create some actions, and whether the client might need support in completing those actions. I’m a coach. Not an accountability buddy. More on that in another post ??.

In the image above, you can see that I was grappling with whether to be an independent consultant, to get a permanent job, and where I should put the energy for prosperity. Something shifted in that session. Because here I am a year and a week later - being a consultant and working toward becoming a life coach.

DM me if you’re keen to have an exploratory session.

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