The Sneaky Time Constraint Of Fear

“Sorry, I can’t stay longer as I need to finish my presentation for my session tomorrow during our conference.” I heard this so many times during my corporate career. As I became more experienced in understanding people and different communication styles, I observed that some said it like it was a tired trophy of success of them keeping up with the too many tasks within their schedules. This was more prominent in cultures where ‘looking very busy’ was interpreted as someone doing so much valuable work for their company, where busyness is glamorised and, interestingly, where there was not much genuine connection between team members and they were going through the motions of doing work together.

To keep my mind active during my sabbatical, I was researching curiosity and one day, the above got me curious. I asked myself, “How much was fear of speaking in those situations (or similar situations) was actually impacting their time to complete and feel ready for their presentations?”

I looked into my own experience as well as asked a few people questions ‘same, same, but different,’ and discovered something so sneaky that it changed the way I prepared for my presentations.

I thought, no I believed as fact, that the many circumstances external to me, were the things that filled my time up so much that it limited the amount of time I had to complete or practice for my presentations. I said I enjoyed ‘cramming everything in the last hours or minutes I had left as that is the way I work. It’s when inspiration comes.’ These factors were my time constraints against gifting me the time to create and prepare for my presentations the way I desired.

But alas (yes I always wanted to place a Shakespearean word in at least one of my writing pieces), this belief was the mask of my fear that was influencing how I spoke up and shared my thoughts, research or work with the world around me.

This fear created a time constrain so powerful that it was easy for me:?

• To decide and support other tasks of less importance,?
• To accept my false perceptions of the environment around me, and,?
• To feel like it was ‘normal’ to not have enough time to prepare for a presentation that I knew was coming, and was aware of my duty to complete it, three months ago.

A tough realisation that was uncomfortable to admit and accept. After all, it was easier for me to blame the external environment around me and not my own decision-making process during my presentation journey.

As mentioned in my earlier LinkedIn article, Conducting Your Fear Of Speaking, becoming aware of this as a superpower is taking one more step toward reclaiming the time you have, or more practically, re-prioritising the time you have.

Maybe this next part is similar to you or maybe what I say next will gift you the courage you have waiting inside you, to become aware of how any degree of fear you experience during any speaking situation, shows up and impacts your time.?

When I uncomfortably dug deeper into why I had some fear in these situations, I realised at the time I was afraid of people’s judgement of my work and what I was sharing were insights on the data or presentation topic that were similar to the audience’s cultural norm but also shared something a little different that I didn’t know would be accepted or if it would be judged harshly. I knew deep down through my tested experience, that it was a valuable contribution, but I was still a little afraid to share it.?

Personal observations, I became aware that some of the people (I realised when out of the situation) did not know how to deliver constructive feedback or were speaking in their personal speaking fear which meant they guarded themselves by ripping other people apart and down. I realised that I was so influenced by my speaking fear in that situation that I allowed my fear to drive my attention to those people while paying no attention to the many who knew how to provide me with constructive feedback, and who decided to lift me up and encourage me when they saw others trying to drag me down with them and their fear.?

My fear influenced my attention to areas that would reinforce why I should be afraid in these situations instead of opening myself up to more positive possibilities.?

Now there is more to the process that helps me speak afraid during these situations and to decide how to best prioritise my time and where to invest my focus but here is one step you can act on now that may help you start.

Decide where you want your fear to focus. Do you want it to focus on things that reinforce why you should be fearful? Do you want to focus on the possibilities fear is trying to bring to your attention?

All the best, Susan.

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