The Snake, The Stick, and The Magic Wand.

How to choose wellbeing in the face of hardship.

We’ve all had that experience of walking in nature, suddenly seeing a snake and jump out of the way, scared. Most of the time, it takes only a few seconds to realize that there’s no snake. It’s just a stick or a little branch on the floor.

But our body is already going through a rush of adrenaline, our heartbeat is racing, the breath accelerated, we feel tingling in the body, and we might even be sweating.

Our body is going through a very real physical process for something that did not exist in reality.

Where did that experience come from? Where was the “snake” created that caused a “snake” reaction? What activated my entire body with such a stress response?

The mind.

The mind had a perception, it saw something that maybe could be a snake, and it did not say to you “careful, I’m not sure if that’s a snake or a stick”, it directly shouted inside your entire being “Jump now! Snake!”

But it wasn’t true. It wasn’t real.

Our daily lives are a constant path filled with sticks and snakes all over the place. But it is much more difficult to tell the difference.

When a big client leaves. An investor doesn’t pay what was agreed. When you have serious problems with a colleague or business partner. When a decision we made is ruining our entire company.

Those things look like big fat anacondas, they cause very real stress, anxiety, panic attacks, sleepless nights and even disease, how could they ever be anything else?

Let me give you a personal example. Four years into my career in the film industry, having a great time as a costume coordinator, working in big films and commercials, I had an accident and broke my knee.

I couldn’t walk for six months, I could certainly not be on set. But I couldn’t just stop working, I didn’t have any insurance or coverage that allowed me to rest and just recover.

Six months away from jobs, for a freelancer, is a risk. At the time, it looked like the biggest snake I’ve ever stumbled upon in my professional life.

I took a job at a production company, where I did most of my work sitting on a chair, on the computer. And while I was there, I realized that I had been writing my own stories. That, maybe, I wanted to make these into films. I was surrounded with people who I had the time to get to know and talk to, and they encouraged me to write and direct my first short film. I got a 5K grant and did it.

When I went back to work, I did so focusing on a new direction. And a few years later I was working professionally as a screenwriter and director.

The big snake, turned out to be a magic wand. And yes. Time was required to see it in that way. But it doesn’t have to be.

My big and bold proposition to you, is that, since many of the things that happen to us, we can’t instantly know if they are sticks, snakes or magics wands, why not choose?

Let’s choose to see things as magic wands (or at least sticks to start with…). Let’s do it for our physical and mental health. For our peace of mind. For our families, friends and coworkers. For the quality of our lives and relationships.

Let’s do it, because if something really terrible happens, there’s nothing better than a calm and serene mind, free from stress, panic or anxiety, to help you resolve it.

Keep practicing

You can start practicing this free guided meditation to start training your mind to see possibility when there was only pain before.

And here are a couple of exercises you can also try:

1. Take a moment and think about one thing that looks like a snake in your life right now, big or small. Write it down. Put on your curious investigator hat, observe it with a bit of distance and list below it, three ways in which this snake could actually be something else. Do not get distracted by if it’s true, if it’s possible, or if it makes rational sense. Just play to question your mind’s perception of things. Another way to do this exercise is to look at that challenge and ask yourself how important will this be in one month, six months, one year, or five years. This practice is about taking the power back from that situation that is destabilizing you and causing you pain or stress.
2. Make it a daily practice. Look at what’s taking away your peace of mind every day and choose a different perception. With time, your mind will get use to question its own perceptions, and you will be able to do it in the moment! Fewer things will cause you stress or pain, because you’ll be able to reframe them right away.

Let me know how this metaphor of the snake, the stick and the magic wand serves you. I know it’s easy to understand, but difficult to apply.

If this article has been useful to you, I invite you to share it with another person. We are all suffering deeply with our current perception of life and can use the inspiration of little tips and stories like this one to help us move forward. Don’t keep it to yourself, share it around.

Much love, Sally

• Join the weekly meditation class for free.
• More about me at nowheresally.com
• Find out more about my path into slowpreneurship
• Watch my talk with Philip Charter about Deep Work