WILL SMITH & CHRIS ROCK: The Power of Apology in Reconciliation

It is always interesting to watch people often demand an eye for an eye whenever someone errs.

Even at times when we are right and righteous, some people will still say, “Crucify Him, Crucify Him.”

However, I have always taken the position of “Let he who has no sin throw the first stone.”

Who is always right among us?

Who is always righteous, just, and true?

Chris Rock crossed a line. True.

Will Smith also crossed a line too. True.

As a result, many people have been crossing the line by turning this unfortunate cry for help on the part of Will Smith into a debate of right vs. wrong, and good vs. evil.

Some people even went as far as leveraging the unfortunate saga to advance their hate for people of African descent or “White” vs. “Black”.

I even read some online posts that said “White” folks should stay out of it!

Really?

Every conversation is everyone’s conversation and that is the essence of inclusion.

The world is suffering from so many injustices and inequities because many people, organizations and governments have stayed out of the conversation for far too long.

While the finger-pointing between groups of na?ve, incompetent or malicious people continues until now, perhaps, we should encourage them to apologize to each other and set an example for humanity.

What are the ways for them to resolve the issues and settle the conflict effectively and sustainably?

What is the Conflict Resolution policy in your organization? What about in your household?

And I am sorry to say that most of the social media and mainstream media posts about this event have been malicious, conniving if not entirely unwise, senseless and unfounded.

Instead of encouraging the parties to apologize to one another, many are attempting to use their lived experiences to justify one over the other.

My friend, they were both wrong and they know it.

Whether their ego is too inflated to apologize to each other is another matter.

In a world that is consumed with violence and vengeance, it would be rare to find someone who was slapped apologizing to the one who slapped him in front of billions of viewers.

As indicated in my book, The Mystique of Leadership , this would be one of the rarest displays of exceptional leadership that we should all aspire for.

So, let us bring this home by asking ourselves a question:

What is that grudge that is holding you back from the peaceful resolution of longstanding issues?

“Why not rather be wronged?”, Apostle Paul once said; “Why not rather be cheated?”

He further went on to encourage us to NOT be the ones who are wronging others, cheating, lying and I must add, making jokes about people’s unfortunate situations, and, also, slapping those who wrong us.

His point is not that we throw ourselves under the bus as the saying goes, but that we make every attempt to pull people out from under the bus, that we always seek to make peace.?

Are you known to be a peacemaker or a troublemaker?

Who are the people in your life that you need to apologize to, even if not in the wrong?

Recently Prince Williams and his lovely wife, Kate visited Jamaica and missed such a great opportunity to apologize to the nation for the role of the British monarch in slavery.

Some have said it is not his role to do so and I responded that apology doesn’t have to often do with what you have done or not done but simply be about what was done.

The benefits of living an unapologetic life do not negate the need to be apologetic in situations we not have caused but concern us anyway.

As a Canadian citizen, I apologize to the Indigenous people for what they went through and still going through at the hands of the Canadian government.

I also apologize for the ongoing police brutality, inequitable judicial system and racist medical system in Canada and the continued pains offspring of slavery.

If they cared, if you care, if anyone cares, an apology can be offered.

My friend, leadership is NOT for wimps, not for prideful people, lazy and arrogant people.

It is NOT for those who are quick to judge or those who refuse to do what is obviously the right thing to do, but for those who are mature in their thoughts, words and actions.

With that said, it got me thinking . . . thinking of the world’s most overdue apology and here are the topmost five we should all consider.

#1 – The Queen of England and its establishment need to apologize for their significant role in slavery and the theft of human and mineral resources from Africa.

Yes, some institutions within the establishment like the Bank of England may have issued one or two statements, but leadership begins at the monarchy.

What are they waiting for to apologize for one of the greatest evils of humanity?

Some have said they are holding back the apology because it will lead to calls for reparation, but isn’t that the right thing to do as well?

#2 – The Pope and the Government of Canada need to completely own up to the genocide they perpetrated against the Indigenous People for generations and even now.

One of the most despicable things in this matter was to see our Prime Minister Justin Trudeau on TV after one of the first discoveries of the gravesites expressing shock about the delayed apology from the Pope.

Mr. Prime Minister, you have a backlog of apologies in your regime to completely bankrupt your government if you were to make the least amount of payment for all the equities and atrocities which you continue to perpetuate and support.

#3 – Businesses need to apologize to their underrepresented employees for not having done enough to enable their progress through management positions.

After the gruesome murder of George Floyd in the view of over a billion people, many organizations quickly started looking for minoritized, racialized and marginalized people to hire or promote into senior management.

As soon as they get one, they run to the media to say they just hired their first Black this or that.

What they failed to understand is that praising themselves for hiring the first Black executive is a self-indictment that not enough was done over the years to do so until George Floyd was killed.

Certainly, there are qualified people in every ethnic and gender group who can do the job as well and if not even better in some cases than those of the predominant narrative.

To register for this year’s https://www.georgefloydmemoriallecture.com , click here .

#4 – Educational institutions need to apologize for the lies that were strategically taught to generations of people of European descent through twisted and inequitable curriculums.

For generations, educational institutions were used to disseminate lies about people of African descent and Indigenous People, teaching “White” people that “Blacks” were not humans, and “Indigenous People” were savages.

Yes, schools like the University of Toronto, York University, Ryerson University, Western University, and many others once prohibited “Blacks” and “Indigenous People” from attending schools or enrolling in programs like Law and Medicine, often due to racist policies by the Canadian government.

While the apologies from educational institutes are overdue, there is an equally urgent need to overhaul their admission policies which are still quite inequitable with colonial strategies to deter racialized students from aspiring for more prestigious programs.

There is an equally urgent need to make the Student Services of these institutions more inclusive and equitable to ensure it is not taking up to two years longer for “Blacks” to graduate from a four-year degree program than their “White” counterparts.

#5 – Parents who are guilty of neglect and abuse of their children need to apologize to them even in their adult years to help deal with the ongoing pain.

I confess that I am a victim of parental abuse when I was growing up and this is the first time that I am saying it so plainly. Throughout my childhood, my dad will beat me up mercilessly for nothing or simply because he had a bad day at work. I was a punching back that crushed my bones and spirits.

I mean … blows, kicks, belt, sticks or anything he could get his hands on were used to beat the hell out of me and my mother too, every time she tried to stop him. We were so scared of him that my younger brother told my mom we would kill daddy when we grew up.

Unfortunately, my younger brother committed suicide because he could not take the abuse any longer after my mom orchestrated a plan for me to leave the country.

I share this to say it is by the grace of God that I was able to overcome the destructive lifestyle of my youth and the suicidal thoughts I struggled with for years because of that abuse.

If you are a parent out there and may not have abused your child to this degree, ensure you make things right with your children because it would help to heal them and the world in general.

Enough said, my friends, enough said.

I have coached hundreds of people all over the world through our School of Greatness to deal with painful life events, with some having gone through multiple rapes by a father, grandfather, and sibling.

I have also worked with many organizations worldwide on programs and projects that exceed over a billion dollars when combined, and currently coaching 30+ CEO in different parts of the world, GMs, Board members and high-level executives and entrepreneurs on how to enhance their leadership capabilities and achieve exponential growth.

My books, Welcome to Greatness and The Mystique of Leadership are used in some schools and businesses worldwide to develop employees and students and I now run four organizations that impact over a million people every year in over 50 nations.

Growing up, most of my guardians and teachers said I would amount to nothing and wrote me off like a bounced cheque – and, my friends, here I am today and still growing today.

Mommy, thank you for believing in me and for the slaps and punches you took for me when I was growing up. I apologize, even post-mortem for not appreciating you as much as I could for truly, you were a rare breed in your era.

I know you never held anything against anybody, but owe my very essence, the magnitude of success God has blessed me with, to no one else but you.

By the grace of God and the tremendous work I have done on my mental, emotional, and spiritual states over the last three decades, taking charge of my destiny and devoting my life to social justice and equity for all, I can write this with no animosity or hate in my mind and heart for my dad or anyone for that matter.

I hope you read, appreciate and even share this newsletter with others with the same grace with which I have shared it too.

If you wish to discuss this content with me one-on-one, kindly send an email to [email protected] or text/WhatsApp me at +1-416-902-6672.