A smart man makes a mistake, learns from it, and never makes that mistake again.
No one is immune to making mistakes – we are human, after all! But if we simply apologize and carry on as before, we're in danger of repeating the same errors. When we don't learn from our mistakes, we inflict unnecessary stress on ourselves and on others, and we risk losing people's confidence and trust in us.
Our mistakes and failures are gifts, gems, guideposts in our learning and growth as people. So embrace failures, mistakes, screw ups and shortcomings because they not only make us uniquely who we are, but also teach us powerful lessons.
Mistakes teach us to clarify what we really want and how we want to live. The word mistake derives meaning only by comparison to what we desire, what we see as success. Noticing and admitting our mistakes helps us get in touch with our commitments--what we really want to be, do, and have. Mistakes wake us up and focus our attention like a flashing sign that says "fix this
Mistakes teach us to accept ourselves and that we can be flawed and be loved. We can fully appreciate ourselves, even while acknowledging our screw ups. It is possible to laugh at our mistakes and then work hard to correct them. People who love and care about us will stick with us through all our flaws and floundering.
Mistakes teach us to accept our fallibility and face our fear. Sometimes even our best efforts just don't work out. We might do everything possible to achieve a certain result and still fail, again and again. Facing mistakes often takes us straight to the heart of our fears. And when we experience and face those fears, they can disappear.
Mistakes teach us about ourselves and how to tell our truth. It is natural to want to cover up our mistakes or be embarrassed by them. To feel like we wish we had a handy mistake eraser or remover. But being honest about our failures and limitations offer us opportunities to practice telling the truth. And thus, increases our capacity to change.
Mistakes teach us, through analysis and feedback, about what works, and what doesn't. It's a reality check. When we experience the consequences of mistakes, we get a clear message about which of our efforts are working--and which are not. One way to gain maximum benefit from mistakes is to examine them through the filter of powerful questions: "How can I use this experience?"; "What will I do differently next time?"; "How will I be different in the future?" Questions like these lead to an inquiry that invites solutions.
Mistakes teach us to take responsibility. Sometimes our instinctive reaction to a mistake is to shift blame elsewhere: "It's not my fault." "You never told me about that," Or the classic "I don't see how this has anything to do with me." It is more empowering to look for our role in the mistake. Taking responsibility for a failure may not be fun. But the act of doing so points out what we can do differently next time.
Mistakes teach us about integrity. Mistakes often happen when we break promises, over-commit, agree to avoid conflict or fail to listen fully. Big mistakes often start as small errors. Over time, tiny choices that run counter to our values or goals can accumulate into breakdowns. Even our smallest choices have power, so it is important we pay attention to the integrity of the choices we make every day.
Mistakes teach us to engage in our lives -- to live fully. We are not our behaviors and we are more than our mistakes. Mistakes help us to remember that we are not content to play it safe. That we understand that without risk there is sometimes no reward.
Mistakes allow us to inspire others. They may be inspired when we are courageous and make our private struggles public. They might decide to live differently.
As parents we can teach our children that it is OK to fail because we are willing to let them see our failures and mistakes. This gives us opportunities to talk through what we could or would have done differently. These are powerful lessons for those around us.