Small talk, presentations, networking events … oh my! Here's how to manage everyday social anxiety in your career

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I'm no stranger to social anxiety.

I think back to high school and remember the countless social gatherings I backed out of because I was too anxious. I think back to the first two years of my career and remember all the networking opportunities I turned down because I had a pit — no, a CRATER — in my stomach that I couldn't shake.

These memories may be unique to me, but I know the experience of social anxiety is not. An alarming 9 in 10 Gen Z workers have dealt with social anxiety.?

My attempt at befriending social anxiety?

There's no one-size-fits-all approach to managing these feelings. What's worked for me is slow exposure. I started saying yes to more networking events over the last year because I knew I would benefit from new connections.?

At first, I would only go to those events if I knew someone else attending (shout out to all the crutch friends out there). I gradually began going on my own. My plan of attack was to show up early — so I wasn't overwhelmed walking into a big group — and to go in knowing how much time I intended to spend.?

I needed to create some sort of structure — which networking events often lack.

"For someone who's struggling with social anxiety, the lack of structure is often the source of anxiety," clinical psychologist Dr. Fallon Goodman shared on the latest episode of Let's Talk Offline. "You go to a networking event, do you drink? If you do, do you hold your drink? […] How do you shake someone's hand? All of these little, tiny things can accumulate to really increase someone's social anxiety."

If reading that makes your chest tighten up … I feel you.?

Let's break down some tips

A lack of structure in social situations is just one cause of anxiety. There are a considerable number of factors that impact how we feel about making small talk at work, speaking up in meetings, attending networking events and more.

There's a lot to unpack around the topic of social anxiety, which is why Jamé (my fellow socially anxious girlie) and I were excited to be joined by Dr. Goodman on the show. Our conversation felt like a live therapy session in the best way.

Here are some highlights from our conversation:?

• Define your goal before social interactions and make it tangible and achievable. At a networking event, for example, go in with the goal of exchanging contact info with just one person. After, reflect on how you did and remember the win (no matter how small).
• Acknowledge that small talk is cringe, whether you're networking with someone new or chatting with colleagues in the office. Take pressure off yourself by setting realistic expectations. It may be awkward at times and you might trip over your words, but that's normal!
• Another anxiety-inducing scenario is speaking up in meetings, especially when you're the youngest in the room. Reframe your young perspective as a strength. You can offer a fresh view that people, who've been at the company for years, may not have considered.?

?? Listen to the full episode of Let's Talk Offline for more on managing social anxiety in your career. In this episode, we've got a fun Cool or Cringe topic to discuss: following your co-workers on social media. Listen to hear our POVs and weigh in with yours in the comments.

?? After you listen to the episode, let us know what you think! Share your takeaways by tagging Jamé and I in a post on LinkedIn. We want to chat with our work besties!

Before you go…

A friendly reminder to listen to, follow and rate the show on your favorite podcast app. See all the ways you can find Let's Talk Offline here . Also, don't forget to send us your burning questions for our Dear Work Bestie segment. You can email us at [email protected] .?

See you back here next Tuesday! We'll be tackling what makes a good and a bad boss (it's a spicy one!). Jamé and I will spill the tea on bad bosses from our past, share what we look for in a manager and offer strategies on how to build a relationship with whoever you report to. That's next week's episode.

In the meantime, remember Jamé and I always have your back. So if something comes up, let's talk offline.

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