SMALL TALK: Like it or not, Small Talk is vital for your SUCCESS!!

Small talk: Like it or not, small talk is vital for your success.

In your own language or in English, if you mix with the global team, small talk is part of networking.

This may be when speaking to a new prospect, a potential new boss, or warming up a customer or physician when speaking to them about the company’s products.

You must be able to build up a rapport with casual conversation to enhance that trust that is vital in all situations.

Did you know that small talk is the foundation to the art of conversation?

It is the light, informal conversation used when talking to someone you don’t know very well, often at congresses or networking events.

There is a real science to how we interact and make lasting impressions on the people we meet, both at work, socially and anywhere really!

Research has shown that we interact with at least 50,000 people in our lives! 

Good small talk skills can improve your chances of making an impact when networking with present or future international colleagues, in turn helping you feel and come across as more confident, capable and approachable.

Making a lasting impression makes a world of difference.

So, How do you make small talk?

There are many factors to being able to make good small talk, but here are the four main ones.

Appear interested and smile!!

Ask open ended questions, most people enjoy speaking about themselves, so ask genuine questions that you think they may like to answer. Of course there are topics that are acceptable and others that are best avoided. 

I will add a list of topics and questions that you can start with at the end of this newsletter.

This technique of asking questions has several benefits. As I have just mentioned, most people like talking about themselves! It also gives you a bit of a break if you are nervous and shy when talking to new people, you just have to nod your head and show interest with some comments here and there, like: “I see, ahh ok…” or “I didn’t know that!” or “ Ah ok, that’s interesting!”

This is far easier than attempting to tell them your stories, if you are feeling a little unsure.

However, be careful not to ask one question after another, it mustn’t seem like an interrogation! 

If you want to start with some neutral questions, it is always good to start with asking if they know the area, or where they would recommend going out to eat etc. This could then lead on to asking them where they are from and how it compares to where you are for that particular event.

Next, Active listening is a big part of successful small talk.

This follows on from asking open ended questions, but you should really listen deeply, follow what they are saying and show that you are paying attention. Go in with the attitude that ‘everyone knows something you don’t.’ Prepare to be interested in something that they can share with you, then, hopefully, you really will be interested and engaged fully in the conversation.

Put away distractions, that means, your phone!

How many people want to go up to someone who is totally focused on their phone! This sends a message to the other people that you are already engaged in conversation on your phone and are not open to speaking to anyone else. We tend to pull out our phones when alone or feeling insecure at a networking event!! But try to resist this urge if you want to speak to other people and make those potentially important new connections!

Then, really go in with the intention of learning something and showing your enthusiasm!

Small talk situations may seem like quite stressful situations to many, but if you go in with the right attitude, then you can actually have fun! I love these situations, to meet new people and learn about what they do and find out about things that we may have in common to talk about, but I know this can be a real effort for many. You never know who you may meet, and what they will have to share with you.. what new opportunities they may offer and what doors may open as a consequence of that brief, but valuable chat while engaging in small talk!

So how are you going to initiate those conversations, now that you have decided to go into the room with an attitude of interest and enthusiasm?

You can pretend that you are chatting to a friend if you really feel anxious about speaking to new people, smile when you approach someone or someone approaches you and why not have some topics ready in your mind to talk about, this will help relieve some of the anxiety and also help you to kick start those conversations.

What are you going to talk about?

• I always think that a general comment or question about the current location is a great place to start.. literally! 

eg. ‘How did you end up at this event then?’

‘Are you from around here?’

‘I love this city… I have never been before .. do you know it well?’

• If they know the area, you could also then ask for recommendations about where to eat out, go for a coffee or any areas to visit while in the area…
• Of course you can ask them what they thought of the presentation, event or other work related situation.

eg. ‘How did you find the presentation?’

‘Have you been to many of these types of events before?’

• Or more general questions related to work..

eg. ‘How are things going for your company at the moment?’

‘What are things like for your industry right now?’

‘As an expert in (their field), I’d love to hear your opinions on….’

‘What’s the most significant change in your field in the last year?!’

‘Tell me about any highlights for the company recently..’

‘What’s your biggest priority right now?’

‘Is there anything I can do to help you….?’

‘Can I introduce you to anyone?’

‘What other pharma events are you planning to attend this year?’

There are other topics that you may like to discuss too, other than work! 

How about food, hobbies, the weather (! Yes, us British DO make small talk about the weather!) Where you live and where the other person lives, ask questions about their home town, ask them what they miss most if they don’t live there anymore, ask them what they would recommend doing if visiting their country…. 

SO here is the list of topics that are safe to talk about! (IN NO ORDER OF IMPORTANCE!!)

1. Your location
2. Entertainment
3. Their hometown (and yours)
4. Art
5. Food and restaurants or cooking
6. Sports
7. Travel
8. The climate
9. Hobbies
10. Work

A few topics usually best avoided are:

Politics, Religion, Age, Physical Appearance, Family (maybe but this can depend, if they start the conversation openly about their children, for example, then by all means ask more questions about their kids!!)

You may think that you are bad at small talk, but as with so many things, with PRACTICE, you CAN improve!

Small talk is just a SKILL, just like any other skill.

Look for opportunities to practise, at the coffee machine, in the supermarket.. learn how to read a person’s body language and tone of voice. Pretend you are speaking to a friend, this mental shift will actually make you come across as a warmer and friendlier person!

Don’t worry about the odd silence, stay calm and relaxed then you won’t speak too fast!

Overall, small talk should be an enjoyable experience, with enough practice and the right mindset… following some of the advice I have just given you, perhaps you can learn to enjoy it (if you don’t already!) too!

Have fun out there meeting new people!

If you would like to really go more deeply into the art of small talk, send me a message to book a quick call!