Small Notebooks Hold Life's Biggest Lessons: What My Old Journals Taught Me About Growth
Amanda Herbert
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There they were, stacked in my bottom drawer - 12 notebooks, each telling a different chapter of my story. Some had just three entries. Others were filled with ambitious plans and wild dreams. A few contained nothing but to-do lists.
But as I flipped through their pages last weekend, something struck me. These weren't just random scribblings. They were breadcrumbs of my journey. Each incomplete thought, each abandoned list, each forgotten goal - they all led me here.
The Power of Imperfect Progress
We often think growth needs to be neat and organized. That our path should follow a straight line. But life isn't like that, is it?
Real growth happens in the mess. In the half-finished thoughts. In the dreams we outgrow. In the plans we abandon for better ones.
Finding Myself Through the Lens
Speaking of growth and self-discovery, I've recently embarked on a new creative journey - weekend self-portrait sessions. Each Saturday, I set up my camera, create a challenge for myself, and see what emerges.
Last weekend, I captured a dramatic black and white self-portrait. There's something powerful about turning the lens on yourself - both literally and metaphorically. Like my journals, these self-portraits tell a story of evolution and self-discovery.
In the harsh shadows and stark contrasts, I see reflections of my own journey. The light parts represent what I know about myself, while the shadows hint at areas still waiting to be explored.
Three Truths from Twelve Notebooks (And One Camera)
As I sorted through these paper time capsules and digital memories, three profound truths emerged:
1. Unfinished Doesn't Mean Unsuccessful
Those half-filled journals weren't failures - they were stepping stones. Each one captured a moment in time when I was reaching for something more. Some dreams I outgrew. Others evolved into something better. But each incomplete notebook represented growth in progress.
Just like my weekend self-portraits - not every shot is perfect, but each attempt teaches me something new about myself and my craft.
2. Patterns Tell Stories
Looking at these journals chronologically, I noticed patterns. Recurring themes. Dreams that kept resurfacing in different forms. It's like watching a photograph develop - the image becomes clearer over time, even if each individual step seems fuzzy.
The same happens with my self-portraits. Week after week, certain poses, expressions, and moods repeat themselves. These aren't just photos - they're visual journals of my inner landscape.
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3. Change is Evident in the Gaps
The spaces between entries often told the most interesting stories. Those blank pages weren't empty - they were filled with life happening. Sometimes the biggest growth occurs when we're too busy living to write about it.
Similarly, the evolution between my weekly self-portraits speaks volumes. Each image captures not just how I look, but how I see myself - and how that vision changes over time.
The Beauty of Messy Growth
As a photographer, I'm often drawn to perfect moments - the ideal smile, the perfect pose, the flawless lighting. But life, like these journals and self-portraits, isn't about perfection. It's about progress.
These notebooks taught me that every false start was actually a step forward. Every abandoned page was making space for something new. Sometimes the bravest thing we can do is leave something unfinished.
The Art of Self-Documentation
There's something powerful about documenting your own journey, whether through words or images. My journals and self-portraits serve as twin mirrors, reflecting different aspects of the same growth story.
The journals capture my inner dialogue - the dreams, doubts, and determinations. The self-portraits capture something else - the unspoken truth in my eyes, the strength in my pose, the story written in shadow and light.
Finding Your Own Story
Perhaps you have your own version of these notebooks or self-portraits. Maybe it's:
Whatever form it takes, consider looking at it differently. Those aren't monuments to what you didn't finish - they're evidence of your willingness to begin. To try. To grow.
The Journey Continues
Today, I started a new notebook and set up for another self-portrait. But this time, I'm not pressuring myself to fill every page or capture the perfect shot. Instead, I'm seeing them as what they really are - not containers for perfection, but spaces for growth.
Sometimes the most beautiful stories are found in the mess of becoming. Sometimes the most revealing portraits are taken when we're still figuring out who we are.
What unfinished chapters of your story are waiting to be reframed? What parts of yourself are you ready to capture in a new light?
Did this resonate with you? I'd love to hear about your own journey with growth and self-documentation. Share your thoughts in the comments below. ???
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