Small Lies by Leaders; Big Impact on Organisation Culture

Lying is OK' - One of the most dangerous signs a leader can give subconsciously to poison the organization culture.

For leaders when lying becomes a subconscious part of the behavior, when they don't even know that they are lying; when they start defending lying in their own mind as a norm; when they start thinking nobody knows or will know that they are lying; when they themselves regularly convince themselves and others that small lies are ok and rather required to win in sales, discussions, and negotiations ..................... and when lying becomes a norm constantly ignored by the team members, then the leader must know that the time has come to deeply introspect and correct this crack in culture based on honesty, ethics, and values which they are committed to build.  

And this all will start from themselves...... 

There are lots of research going on on the topic of why humans lie and how this is a part of human nature. Here I am producing a few excerpts from the article published in National Geography in June 2017 "Why we lie - The science behind our deceptive ways" by Yudhijeet Bhattacharjee (the contributing writer who also wrote about deception in his book " The Spy Who Couldn't Spell").

The researchers found many interesting aspects while understanding why we lie. Here are some important observations and outcomes (taken from the article). Though it's not specific about lying culture in an organization and focus mainly on why we as human's lie, there is a strong connection of this with what happens when lies are evidently and deliberately used by influential, responsible and respected individuals to gain attention, to get the benefit, to be seen as smart or resourceful or to manipulate the outcome, Here is what researchers have found :

• Lying, it turns out, is something that most of us are very adept at. We lie with ease, in ways big and small, to strangers, co-workers, friends, and loved ones. Our capacity for dishonesty is as fundamental to us as our need to trust others, which ironically makes us terrible at detecting lies. Being deceitful is woven into our very fabric, so much so that it would be truthful to say that to lie is human
• Lying as a behavior arose not long after the emergence of language. The ability to manipulate others without using physical force likely conferred an advantage in the competition for resources and mates, akin to the evolution of deceptive strategies in the animal kingdom, such as camouflage. “Lying is so easy compared to other ways of gaining power,” notes Sissela Bok, an ethicist at Harvard University who’s one of the most prominent thinkers on the subject. “It’s much easier to lie in order to get somebody’s money or wealth than to hit them over the head or rob a bank.”
• “The more excited your reward system gets at the possibility of getting money—even in a perfectly honest context—the more likely you are to cheat,”. In other words, greed may increase one’s predisposition to lying.
• The researchers found that the amygdala’s response to lies got progressively weaker with each lie, even as the lies got bigger. “Perhaps engaging in small acts of deception can lead to bigger acts of deception,” she says.

So when I was researching the subject I found that "lying" is human and generally we as humans lie. Although it was very clear that honesty is the natural instinct of us individuals, still due to certain situational elements we tend to lie. But it was also clear that lying creates an environment of distrust and dishonesty if we are dealing with humans and especially in a team format.

Now if we see from the perspective of organization culture, lying proves to be not only dangerous but poisonous in many ways, especially when lying is seen in behaviors of leaders of the organization. 

From personal experience working with some very strong, resilient leaders, observation of Type 'A' personalities, analyzing the impact of fear, guilt, and shame on telling lies, I found out that if the lies become a part of a leader's common language, day-to-day activities, to manipulate the conversation, to get the things done or to receive the benefit at any cost, this creates a huge imbalance in trust and ethics equation of the organizational culture. Here are my personal observations :

• When a leader lies in order to get the sales closed and was seen by his team members, the subconscious message he sends to the team that "Lying is Ok" and after sometimes, the message gets louder and says "Let's lie to get the results. It's perfectly ok."
• It creates a crack in the honest, ethical culture which the same leader wants to promote in his team or organization. As the team members start to see it as hypocrisy on the part of the leader, they subconsciously start to have less respect for the leader and ultimately for the organization  
• The leader himself can't promote honesty in the team as it is seen very superficial to the team members and gradually they start to ignore the instructions, guidance or authority of the leader
• As the above article also suggested that telling the truth doesn't need any effort but telling a lie needs lots of preparation, planning and remembering what to say and when, the lies in front of clients, on sales tables, in one-to-one conversations ultimately get out and catch up with the reality and that brings confusion and disrespect and ultimately doubt on the intention of the leader, team, and organization
• This also is an open subconscious invitation from the leader to other team members to use lies to get the things done and create results which in turn give authority to other strong and powerful team-members to use their version of the truth and ultimately create misalignment, confusion, and doubt in the whole team and ultimately culture

Well, as I said before that it seems the researcher also confirms that we as a human lie. It's in our nature. Some lie for gaining attention, some for benefits and some to avoid guilt, but the researches also suggest we as humans lie very little unless we are a sociopath or criminal or manipulator. Keeping this in mind here I see how we can build our persona around the truth. How we can lead with honesty and integrity and set an example for others to follow. How we can be a builder of the culture of trust and respect. Here are a few things we can do :

• As a leader always keep a check on self and correct the actions as soon as we notice that we told the lie or about to tell a lie to our colleagues, partners or clients 
• We also must check from where this belief is coming from that telling a small lie won't harm anyone and its ok to tell lies. As in the research, it is also found out that if someone is comfortable in small lies, very soon bigger lies will not make any discomfort to him
• Refrain from telling lies or using a lie as a tool to manipulate the outcome for own favor
• Consult, coach and discuss the matter with team-mates who are found to be using lies to get the results and help them get out of this habit
• Promote 'truth' and coach 'lies'
• Make sure lie should not become a norm in the organization and also set an example to others by keeping the truth at the center

Finally, I would like to convey that following truth and avoiding lies is not only for showing the qualities of a good human, or something which should be followed because it is morally correct, neither it is for something to prove to someone. Following and using truth in the organization, in the smallest discussions, client presentations, one to one conversations, team-meetings are for creating a culture of trust, empathy, and ethics - which I hope every leader actually wants.

Truly Yours

Mahesh

Coach / Humanist / Researcher