"Small Acts Done With Great Love." Remembering My Sister, Becky Weichhand

Two years ago today (November 27th), my older sister Rebecca Theresa Weichhand (who we all called Becky), left this life after a hard-fought battle with an aggressive form of colorectal cancer. She was 36 years old, and aside from being my sister, she was one of the most impressive people I knew. She worked hard and achieved success in her life and career. She was also truly kind and generous with her time and resources – a real-life Leslie Knope.

Becky left behind a legacy defined by her life-and-career-long dedication to orphans and adoption policy. She knew celebrities, met with world leaders, and was even formally remembered and recognized by congress; but most importantly, her work helped countless children connect with their forever families. I miss my sister, but I'll never lose the impression of her character or the memory of her example: patience, persistence, kindness, empathy, grit, and love. The most important was always love.

There are no great acts, only small acts done with great love.

– Mother Theresa

Below are the remarks I gave at her funeral – the eulogy for a life well-lived that ended far too soon. I hadn't read these since 2018, but I'm glad I did today.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

November 28, 2018

Hello everyone. My name is Josh Weichhand and I’m Becky’s brother. Becky was my older sister, a dear friend, and a frequent confidant in matters of career and adulthood. My sister lived a rich life – an accomplished life – in her 36 years. Too few for someone so young, but for those of us who were witness to Becky’s life, I think we can agree she accomplished far more in 36 years than most would have with twice that time.

Over these past couple weeks I’ve had time to reflect on my sister’s life, her impact on mine, and the countless others who had the privilege of meeting Becky. No doubt you’ve heard stories of her overseas travels, her work with heads of state and government, or mingling with celebrities. Hugh Jackman, I’m told, is as handsome as you think, but shorter than he looks in the movies. Danny Devito is about what you’d expect.

For me though, I’ll always remember Becky for living a life of intention. She set her goals at an early age. She dreamed big dreams and believed they were attainable. Her path was plotted out years in advance, with every step supporting her life’s work on behalf of orphans all over the world. She was greatly accomplished in part because of this intentional living. But as we reflect on Becky’s impact on the world around her, I want to focus on a different type of intention, the kind that Becky showed towards people.

My sister practiced a radical form of thoughtfulness. No doubt many of you here today know what I’m talking about. Frequent phone calls. Handwritten notes in lowercase letters. A quick email with words of encouragement. Thoughtful gifts celebrating a homecoming, housewarming, or new additions to a family. A place to stay, a car to drive, a bed to sleep on, family time to share with friends.

Becky was intentional with those around her. And she brought light and love into every conversation and interaction, from orphanages in far-flung countries to the seats of power in Washington DC.

Acts of kindness, generosity, empathy, and thoughtfulness – the kind that Becky practiced – can feel like they’re in short supply these days. And the loss of someone like Becky can make it feel as if one of our last bright lights has gone out.

But the truth is, you don’t have to have a practice like Becky’s to make light in a dark world. Because giving out encouragement, reminders of value and worth, and simple acts of kindness are sparks that require little energy and effort. They’re available to us every day, if only we recognize them.

They don’t have to be big legislative accomplishments or great acts of statesmanship. They don’t require a zip code near capitol hill or leaving your life to become an aid worker or missionary. They can be simple. They can be small. And they can add up to great love.

As you leave here today, I hope you’ll take the words of Mother Theresa, so often quoted by Becky, to heart: "There are no great acts, only small acts done with great love."