SLOWING DOWN TO SPEED UP: STARTING A REFLECTIVE PRACTICE

In the last few weeks, several clients have asked for guidance on starting a reflective practice. I’ve been happy to offer some suggestions whilst recognising each of us will respond to different approaches to giving some focused and intentional time to sorting through our thoughts and making some sense of where we are and what is alive for us in our day-to-day lives.

Indeed, I find that many people’s thinking is in a near-constant state of overdrive, albeit their experience is more like standing in the middle of a giant pinball machine of random and assorted thoughts, which can be disorientating and overwhelming. ?

A reflective practice for me can help us step outside of ourselves, akin to looking down from a hill at a speeding motorway. Creating this distance gives us a chance to pause and explore what is really going on for us, both inside our minds and outside of our circumstances. Reflection is simply giving something some thought and consideration. And this is where creating a deliberate practice of reflection can be so powerful.

Fundamentally, what I see is that in the busyness of life, there is a part of many of us that is always urging us to press on, justifying the state of ‘always on’. Well, taking some structured time to reflect and thus slow right down offers an antidote to this.

What might slowing down to speed up do for you?

For me, any reflective practice can offer some or all of the following:

·????? Quieting down a busy mind

·????? Seeing what really is going on.

·????? Creating space for clarity of thought.

·????? Sorting through what really matters from what we can let go of.

·????? Shining a light on the stories we are creating about ourselves and our lives.

·????? A chance to acknowledge ourselves whilst offering a space for some (brutal) honesty.

·????? Space for gratitude and appreciation.

·????? Illumination of the progress we are actually making.

·????? Create boundaries between the different parts of our life. e.g. between work and home life.

Reflection serves our personal growth and evolution as we step out of autopilot while helping us learn from the day-to-day challenges and opportunities that life offers us.

I see reflection as a gift to ourselves, and this gift can help us lighten the mental load whilst helping us focus on what really matters. Indeed, most of us want to feel like we are making meaningful progress, and reflection is a more positive and realistic counterweight to the negativity bias that many people experience.?

STARTING A PRACTICE

?By making reflection habitual, we can see massive benefits over time. Imagine spending 30 minutes each week reflecting, and I guarantee that you will become more self-aware over a few months. Indeed, you will also uncover the habits, routines and structures that either are serving you or holding you back in some way.

Below is an example of a journaling-based reflective practice. For some people, this may need to be more structured or have more questions. If that is the case, I invite you to experiment and explore what works for you. While I reflect using structured questions, I also take a freer approach, for example, by walking and allowing my mind to wander or asking for some ‘guidance from beyond’ on a particular issue or challenge I wish to gain some clarity on. Wisdom and insights are always available to us; we need to give the snowstorm of our minds a chance to settle down once in a while to allow them through.

Another approach I use is to use the questions below and record an audio note to myself on WhatsApp. Indeed, speaking my thoughts out loud, as I get on a roll, is often insightful in itself, as I hear myself speak’.

AN EXAMPLE: A JOURNALLING-BASED PRACTICE

Looking Back

1.???? What would I like to celebrate?

2.???? What can I acknowledge myself for?

3.???? What am I most pleased about?

4.???? How have I been showing up?

5.???? What would I have liked to gone better?

6.???? What might I have done differently?

7.???? What has been most challenging?

8.???? What has frustrated me?

9.???? What have I not had time for?

10.? What have I been putting off / procrastinating on?

11.? What have I noticed about the people I have been spending time with?

12.? What have I learned about myself?

13.? What am I most curious about?

14.? How has my energy been? How has it varied through the day and through the week?

15.? What has my mood been like?

16.? What have I done to take care of my physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual wellbeing? What have I neglected?

Looking Forward

?1.???? What’s most important to me?

2.???? What are my priorities?

3.???? What do I want to 100% commit to?

4.???? What would I like to explore further?

FINAL THOUGHTS

?The example above does have a lot of questions. There are no rules; perhaps you'd like to cherry-pick a selection that can work for you. You could try a shorter version weekly and a more in-depth version monthly or quarterly, for example.

You may also find yourself noticing more about how you relate to the stories you create about yourself and your circumstances.

As you answer a question, deepener questions may also emerge as you activate your curiosity, along with new thoughts, ideas and, if focused on a challenge, solutions

As an alternative, you may value taking a more CBT-style approach that challenges and intercepts your thoughts and feelings. Or you could use a positive psychology approach and create space for different perspectives and ways of framing what it is you are pondering. Perhaps you would like to explore simple sitting with and allowing difficult thoughts and feelings in a more embodied meditative practice. This is your practice. Explore what works for you.

And if you are thinking, ‘I haven’t got time for this’, I suggest slowing down to speed up is exactly what you need more of in your life.

Thank you for reading.