Slowing down is actually speeding up

Be it my personality, my nationality, or my identity, I'm not sure, but for whatever the reason, I had never disciplined myself over the last seven years of my career to be truly offline, out of office, and disconnected from all work-related items.

While most professionals practice extended periods of disconnection at least annually and reap massive benefits, I didn't quite allow myself to go there. Opening email multiple times daily, checking Slack channels here and there, answering a request despite the absence of urgency, and interacting on LinkedIn were habits that came with me even on vacation. (By choice! I'm fortunate that my work environments haven't imposed nor expected this.)

Push came to shove and a few weeks ago, I finally embarked on a full seven business days off and an extremely relaxed staycation. I didn’t look at anything work-related and spent my time in introspective bliss and playful exploration instead.

Here's what I learned:?

Slowing down is actually speeding up.?

This summer, I started to feel somewhat like a victim to circumstances rather than playing the role of an empowered actor in whatever I was creating and seeing. Logically, I knew that I needed to shift out of this, yet no matter how hard I tried, I?couldn’t seem to shake off the heavy, uncertain, powerless feelings wafting over my days. A huge stroke of luck came in the form of a few angelic mentors who accompanied me through the good, bad, and the ugly, offering me constant support and advice. Thanks to them, I didn't completely self-destruct, despite reaching burnout full-on come September, and I actually learned many business and people lessons that I'll carry into future?scenarios. What could have been a new, crippling set of traumas, triggers, and long-term anxieties instead offered me with an intense, yet transformative emotional intelligence bootcamp for which I'm so grateful.

There's immense beauty to be had in bringing your life to a complete halt, detoxing from all forms of external validation, and being still with your soul. By slowing down during my time off, I experienced a magical shift?— and I’m back in my power. My emotions are my responsibility and my circumstances whether “good” or “bad” are all but assignments, enabling and fueling the growth I need at any given moment. I really believe that it's from a place of stillness that million dollar ideas are born, transcendent creativity surfaces, and expansive visions flourish.

Find something that offers true disconnection & do it multiple times per week.?

While doing the things I love during my staycation, I realized that tennis is pure disconnection for me. During a match, 100% of my attention is focused on winning the current point. I’ve been doing Vinyasa and Bikram yoga, Siclo (indoor cycling), and Tracy Anderson (a dance-strength workout) for years, but even in these highly-stimulating activities, my mind can still wander to my life and work. In tennis, that's impossible as each point requires such a high level of concentration, anticipation, and quick reflexes.

The work-from-anywhere-at-anytime luxury I’ve enjoyed since March 2020 has been amazing, but in the past months, a negative side to this crept up. I thought about comments said to me at work, morning, evening, and all through the night. Around the clock I was “on”, always solution-ing and attempting to use my mind and the minds of mentors and experts to solve overlapping, complex issues with all of my mental might.

What I desperately needed, however, was the complete opposite:

• To turn my mind OFF. Truly off.
• To open up and surrender to the quiet of my soul and inner wisdom.
• To lead and live from the heart rather than the mind (at least for no more than 40 hours weekly).

I’m so grateful that I only let this overthinking pattern get comfortable in my life for a few months before chucking it out for good. I can’t imagine the effect this must have on people who carry such a pattern for years or even a lifetime. I now know the importance of protecting my peace. I can fearlessly trust that I don’t have to think my way through every problem. I can actually be a peaceful observer of many things, unshakable in my values, and end up totally fine, if not, great.

Above all, have intentions for your life related to, first, how you want to be and feel on the inside, and second, how you aspire to interact and contribute on the outside.?

What specifically you want to achieve is less important and when is even more irrelevant. What is time anyways? Do you even remember what you wore two versus three days ago? Who you are and how you feel is what strings together all of your assignments and experiences on?earth, what will set off your unique ripple effect in your communities, and what will mark the legacy of your life.

As Maya Angelou said, “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” I’m acutely aware of the fact that I don’t always make people feel the way I intend. At times, I'm completely misunderstood. And that’s sad, painful, and hard to swallow. Growing in empathy and learning to adapt all forms of my verbal, written, and bodily communication and my relating skills to people across contrasting cultures and differing personality types will forever be a growth project for me. That said, there's also space to detach from the need to be understood always, because you just won't be! No one is. We're all on this journey.

At present, my intention is to be increasingly soft, gentle, and curious outwardly while inwardly fierce, unshakable, and still. It’s no longer about a specific “what” and “when” for me. It’s about embracing all the feels, laughing at this humbling human adventure, and training my heart and eyes to see and uncover as much light and love as possible in each person and moment, from the mundane and simple to the wild, unexpected, and fabulous — here?for it all.?