Slow Down, You Move Too Fast

I’m addicted to speed.?No, not the drug.?The movement.?And, ironically, it acts as a drug for me, because if I move fast enough, I can avoid feeling, I can do things sub-par and not face the fact that I may not know fully what I am doing…the list goes on.

I have been told I am a human doing, and not a human being.?It hasn’t insulted me as much as it should.

The author of this article says we “deify doing.”?In my working-class family in Boston, you kept busy.?You did and did and busied and busied and you never, never, NEVER spoke about feelings or emotions or how you felt.?This was anathema to keeping busy.

So, the faster I learned to move, the less I felt, which was a primary reason I moved so fast in the first place.

As the author says, most of us are more worried, uncertain, and insecure than we care to acknowledge, even to ourselves.?Moving fast enough keeps these uncomfortable feelings at bay.

But I have learned to be a bit more self-reflective.?To really see why and how I am so addicted (yes, addicted) to going fast.?To speeding around like a whirling dervish.?What is it that it does for me??Why do I keep doing it when I yap so much about slowing down, about mindfulness??I know it takes its toll.?As the author says:

???“Speed is the enemy of depth, nuance, subtlety, attention to detail, reflection, learning and rich relationships - the enemy of much, in short, that makes life worth living.”

I want to slow down.?I talk about it all the time.

Here are some of the suggestions from the author for ways to practice the discipline of slowing down:

• Designate one meal a day, or even a week, where you slow down and taste.?Notice the texture, notice the aroma, and taste the flavor of what you are eating.
• Spend half an hour each day reading just for pleasure.?Curl up in a chair and do this just for yourself and just for the joy and relaxation of it.
• Take the time to really listen to someone you love.?Let that person speak for as long as they need to without interruption.?Give them the space you would want if the situation were reversed.
• Journal each night for fifteen minutes before bed.?Just let the spirit move you and write.
• Daydream.?Look out of a window and let your mind wander for a good half an hour. (This is actually my suggestion, given to me by my therapist.?She calls it “strawberry patch time.”) ?
• And most importantly, waste time.?Dawdle, linger, do things halfway, putter, and savor your life.?

SAVOR YOUR LIFE.?Because it is all you get, and it is the most precious thing you own. Maybe in slowing down, I will find out why going so fast became my modus operandi for so long.?

Because truly, I’m grateful for my life.?And I am grateful for yours and the fact that you have slowed down enough to read this.

Thank you.

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