Slogan Tees and Ninja Masks - How we react to female rage

For the last three years, I have written articles based on random musings for International Women’s Day. This year, as I’m sure for many others, IWD has seemed to arrive incredibly fast. After an insane 2022, I barely recognised it was March and frankly I felt too tired to consolidate my thoughts into something coherent and worth sharing.

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I sat and reflected on where this mental fatigue came from and some of the themes that have taken up my emotional energy this past year. Conversations with my Professional Girlsquad have covered: post-covid wellbeing, female-fit PPE, achieving gender balance in the energy industry, empathetic leadership and the unfair labelling of "hysterical women"... to name a few.?We were fired up over discussions and debates on all, across time-zones and over Whatsapp, lunch walks and in wine bars. There were strong feelings of injustice and empowerment, and a heavy feeling of responsibility to address these issues within our scope of influence. This stemmed partially from the stage at which we are in our careers (most in leadership roles) but more relevantly, the awareness of more conversations happening around us on similar themes in different forums and mediums.

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With this increased dialogue, I’ve noticed a positive shift where it has become more encouraged and accepted for women to articulate their challenges and frustrations publicly. With the goal of achieving momentum in overcoming these challenges and ultimately positive outcomes. This has been supported over the years by the rise of #metoo and more confronting discussions in mainstream media. But as I asked a friend “how do I write a LinkedIn article on the rise of female rage while still making it sound positive and upbeat”, it occurred to me that there is a strong caveat associated with being so outspoken: don’t be too much. Elyse Meyers is a fantastic example of an influencer who?positively and defiantly challenges this, with her line of merch that boldly says [if you don't like what I bring] "Go Find Less". But while her positive influencing is totally embraced on Instagram, I would hazard a guess that this slogan tee sentiment is not as widely accepted in the wardrobe of blue collared shirts that is a professional environment. Even less when in a male dominated industry.

Earlier in the year I wrote a very diplomatic yet lightly provocative comment on a Linkedin post of an organisation who is positively influencing the energy industry. A photo featuring all male leaders of traditional energy companies, being promoted as wider energy industry leadership. I had reacted to the classic stereotypical image and imagined how many young women would look at it and conclude the industry too foreign and non-inclusive to consider joining. This felt important to me to challenge given the highly inclusive and forward thinking culture of the organisation I had recently joined.?It literally took me hours to craft the three lines I ended up posting. I wanted to be heard but not too loud, provocative but not angry, challenging but still friendly. My reaction (recoil and simmering rage – obviously triggered by some personal history) had been conditioned to be dampened. The attention to my comment kicked off a highly positive conversation with the organisation and a fantastic initiative seeded by many who shared the same passion for industry gender equality. I had friendly comments of being a “troublemaker” and “stirrer” - but the overthinking had been exhausting.

Navigating the fine line of the outspoken woman in leadership is a minefield. While my example is tame, my network is full of examples of smart, competent professional women who are considered “too emotional” when they cry in their office, “hysterical” when they get (justifiably) frustrated and openly rant, and “too outspoken” when they push hard to change the status quo. I am exposed to and hyperaware of both the double standards surrounding this and the reactions of peers to these behaviours. Like most others, I constantly balance on the fine line between standing up for what I feel strongly about and the need to remain friendly and likeable. Supressing strong emotions and challenging personal authenticity while walking the fine line between enough and too much. Yikes… no wonder we are exhausted!

So what’s the solution? Well… I certainly haven’t reached one. Personally, I take my frustrations out on the mountain with my trail shoes or up hills on my roadbike. I am grateful for the safe and supportive environment my Professional Girlsquad provides where we can openly and truly talk about and pick apart these issues, all while plotting ways to also influence in stealth mode, under the radar. For now, it’s a ninja mask instead of a slogan tee but if we continue this dialogue maybe that will change faster than we think.