Sliding doors: What I found behind door 1

I was having a conversation recently after accepting a coaching role with the Australian Rural Leadership Foundation to be a coach for the upcoming LARC program. It went something like this.

Where do you think you could provide value to a group of high performing leaders? ?

What is it exactly that you can offer?

Do you have what it takes to take on a group coaching role?

How do you plan to fit this in? Don’t you already have enough on your plate without adding this to the load?

The conversation was challenging and left me questioning my capability. Had I made the right decision?

The remit was to work with two groups and deliver six, one-hour sessions to each. All sessions were delivered on Teams, and apart from meeting at their first intensive session, most members would be meeting each other for the first time in session one.

It sent me into this sliding door moment (imagine the Gwyneth Paltrow movie but way less dramatic), believing that I had two options.

Door 1: Proceed with confidence. Remind myself of the years of experience that I bring, my passion for supporting others to curate a life that they are proud to live, and that this is an amazing opportunity, particularly to learn from others.

Door 2: Make up an excuse (no longer available or something similar), knowing that I would also be turning my back on any future opportunities in this space. But I was remaining in my lane, nice and safe. Apart from a dent to my reputation, my ‘confidence’ remains intact and for now, there is no sign of failure on the horizon. My path is clear, and I can focus my energy and effort into the things that I am already starting to get traction on. Things that I am super confident in and know will deliver value to others.

What would you do?

The reality for me, is that I was always going to choose Door 1. Even though that conversation left me a feeling a little wobbly, I knew that I was ready to grab this opportunity. I was ready to progress from one-on-one coaching to coaching groups - ready to step into this uncomfortable, potentially awkward space with a group of people who would be looking to me for guidance. Looking to me to support them to choose one thing (they started the first session telling me that they had 100’s of ideas) and within five weeks, be pitch ready and able to present their idea at their graduation.

No pressure.

So, here’s the thing.

Coaching is never about me. Coaching at its core, is about listening, and learning from others, and supporting them to bring their ideas to life. Providing strategies and facilitating a process that enables them to perform at their best. Believing that they have all the answers within them, they just need a safe space to enable them to flow.

That conversation that I mentioned earlier, that was all about me. About me failing, me being unsuccessful, me doubting my ability to deliver.

That conversation was not with another person. That conversation was me battling with my inner critic, doing its best to keep me safe and remind me that doing things outside of my comfort zone can lead to failure.

Door 1 was filled with uncertainty, firsts, pressure, and frustrations. It brought moments of overwhelm, doubt, 'stuckness', insight, peaks of energy, and sparks of joy. At times it was uncomfortable, progress was stalled and some of the team members were questioning their own value.

Both teams pitched their ideas last Friday, and I sat in the crowd watching with immense pride for how much they had achieved in such a short time. Knowing how tough it was for each of them, and recogising that even though both of their pitches were great, it was never really about the pitch.

It was about the growth in each of them - their leadership, their contribution, their confidence. To be honest, it was magical, seeing them come together to create something that they were all immensely connected to and proud of. And what an absolute privilege it was to be part of it.

Earlier this week, each of the teams did a debrief. There was vulnerability, gratitude, and a deep sense of pride for what they had accomplished.

Watching them share personal feedback to every member of their team, that bit leaves me feeling a little teary. Seeing their genuine appreciation for each other, their talents, and their willingness to do whatever was necessary to support their team mates. A group of people, who less than two months earlier, did not even know each other.

Now you know what was really behind Door 1. ?

A big thank you to ARLF's Director of Learning Andrea Hogg , and LARC Facilitators Andrew Bryant and Tanya Stevenson for the opportunity. Thank you for the push and the chance to have my Door 1 experience.

To the members of each of the groups that I worked. Thank you for your inspiration, wisdom, engagement and willingness to be part of this process. It truly was a privilege to get to know each of you.

The Health and Wellbeing Group (their preferred name was 'Team Awesome'): Anthony (Tony) Schneiders , Nat Rice, Karla Steen , Karis Ross, Narelle Duroux and Linda O'May.

The Youth Group: Mark Lourigan Melissa Kattenberg Luke Strochnetter Karla Jurezakowski, Hayley Swain