Skills I improved as a first time mum

First of all, whoever has already told you “whenever you will become a mother / father, you will understand me”, they are absolutely accurate and right! Even if you have imagined yourself as a mother or father a long time before you actually become one, the reality comes to surpass you! This article is dedicated to my baby boy and my lovely husband and to all mums and dads out there that survive, remain positive and improve themselves daily.

Through this article, I will share with you 7 skills I improved as a first time mum:

1.???????Resilience

I claimed myself as a resilient person in the past and I was sure I was, but I never imagined there was more to come…it could be tougher…it could be more challenging. So, yes! After the sleep deprivation of the first months and the breastfeeding experience and trying to comfort my crying baby while healing from my c – section at the same time, I can definitely be proud of being resilient for sure! Try me!

2.??????Multitasking

I again claimed myself as a multitasker in the past, but: try to eat, do the laundry, cook in one hand while holding a baby in the other, for the whole day. Try to socialize with your friends, speak on the phone, write an email, while keeping a baby busy at the same time, so he won’t start crying.

3.??????Empathy

Empathy was a work in progress before I had a baby. It was a skill I was consistently and methodically trying to evolve day by day in every occasion. After having a baby though, I conquered another level. You cannot imagine, how much empathy you need to survive all day with a tiny little human that cannot speak in order to express himself, so you need to understand his needs and feelings on your own. Some people would say, you are trying to guess. But no. The key here is observation and true love, because only if you focus on these two elements, you can surpass your ego, your anger, your fatigue and be able to help your little human and yourself at the same time.

4.??????Teamwork

Working in a corporate environment I learned that great results come from great teams and not from individuals. In great teams, people are free to express themselves, utilize their skills in the best possible way, trust each other, motivate each other, cultivate and retain positive vibes among them despite the challenges. Personally, I wouldn’t be able to raise a child myself and I truly respect a lot any single parent that manages to make it happen. From my personal experience, I can only testify that if I wouldn’t work as a great team with my husband and often the baby’s grandmothers, it could be the toughest project of my life so far.

5.??????Training

Training for me is one of best aspects of my job. I consider myself as a trainer and trainee at the same time. Because only if you continue learning and improving yourself day by day and understand your audience and adjust your methods or your content to the people who are listening to you – only then – you can be a “good enough” trainer. A trainer they deserve. By growing a baby, you have the opportunity to learn a lot for yourself, you cultivate your humbleness, your observation, your patience, your creativity, your enthusiasm for simple things, your proactiveness, your storytelling. You learn to better interpret gestures, signs, body language. You learn to listen to your instinct. You need to practice new ways to keep your tiny little human (audience) engaged. You need to trust your tiny little human in each learning process and take carefully designed risks to give him the chance of trial and error. And that’s why all the above are making you a better trainer.

6.??????Assertiveness

As a first time parent, you are doing everything for the very first time. You have no idea what to do, no matter how many books have you read or videos have you seen. Reality is just another story. So you leave the hospital with some doctors and midwifes advices and a “good luck” and then here it comes your first night with your baby at home. The first time you have to change his diaper on your own, the first time you have to make him a bath or feed him or comfort him to sleep and generally the first time you are trying to explain on your own (without doctors around you) what he wants. And then from this time and on, you have more milestones and new things to learn and confront: colics, teeth, sleep deprivation, food trial (after 6 months), allergies etc. Last but not least, you have all your environment (friends, relatives) to have an opinion on your parental methods without asking them most of the times – not necessarily in a bad way but definitely an intrusive and stressful one. With all the above, I can reassure you that there is only one way to survive: work on your assertiveness.

7.??????Self care

What is internationally the no 1 safety advise when you are travelling with your child via a ship or airplane: Put your mask/ life jacket first and then put it on your child. Why? Because if you will not keep yourself alive, you cannot help anyone. The same goes when you are raising a child. You cannot offer physical, mental and emotional support to your child, if you are not physically, mentally and emotionally healthy ?on your own. So, you need to take care of yourself. You need to let other people help you. There will be days that you will need to let aside all house chores in order to sleep, or to read a book or just to take a walk in nature, or do some yoga, or eat without interventions, or watch a movie and so on. You just need to remember yourself pretty often that you owe you some personal time. ?