Six Years Later: Remembering and Celebrating My Sister’s Life Lessons, Health Tips, Legacy, and Upcoming Birthday

During her time here, my sister Selma graced this world with so many life lessons and tips. 

After being diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 28, which was also shortly after the passing of our mother from ovarian cancer, Selma shared her first lesson of getting informed and the importance of being one’s own health advocate. Because she was so young and the doctors felt the lump in her breast was nothing to worry about at the time, they advised her to just ignore it and continue on with her day-to-day life. However, Selma trusted her instincts and spent time researching a doctor on her own who was willing to perform an outpatient procedure and remove that lump. This doctor was stunned when he went in and discovered that she not only had breast cancer, but that it had spread all the way to her chest wall; I will never forget that phone call.

In addition to surgery and radiation, Selma went on a worldwide search to be informed and learn about the best chemotherapy treatment available, one that would eventually save her life. Although Selma lived in California, her search took her across the world to Italy to meet Dr. Gianni Bonadonna. Not only was the chemo successful, but the two became the best of friends.

At every step of my sister’s cancer journey, she was determined to get the best care and treatment. Her ability to navigate the healthcare system, which for a layperson can be overwhelming and confusing, was impressive and gave way to what I now refer to as Debby’s 3 G’s.  

I’ll break it down, using Selma as an example. My first G: GET INFORMED. Selma showed us all how important taking the first step is. Not only did she inform herself about the immediate issues related to her breast cancer, but she also investigated genetic testing to find out more about why both our grandmother and our mother had passed on from ovarian cancer in their 50s, discovering that the BRCA1 gene mutation ran in our family. Selma passed the information she learned on to families around the world so they too would be informed and proactive with their medical care. I myself am also BRCA1 positive and a breast cancer survivor.

Second: GET ORGANIZED. Selma organized a worldwide search and was a powerful patient advocate for her own self while recruiting a loyal support team of friends and family.

Finally, GET MOVING. After being cured of breast cancer, Selma started to get moving, taking her life experiences and starting the first-ever Young Adult Cancer Support Group which turned out to be just the beginning of her amazing 30-year journey to help others.

Selma went on to found Vital Options International (https://www.vitaloptions.org), a nonprofit healthcare communication, education, and advocacy organization with a special mission of generating global health conversations. She gave light to the topic through her groundbreaking radio show, The Group Room, and thereafter through her international programs: Choix Vital in Paris, Vital Conversations, and Advocacy in Action.

Spending over three decades covering major cancer conferences around the world including ASCO, ESMO, and more, Selma interviewed key opinion leaders and published their interviews to the patient advocacy community including patients and their families.

During this worldwide COVID-19 pandemic, and thanks to the major advances in computer and communications technology, attending conferences can now be done completely virtually. Zoom and other similar video-conference tools allow everyone to come together from their homes, offices, or any location and meet to discuss one common goal.

Taking note of this, Vital Options International is changing and updating its mission to help patients by “paying it forward”. With the impacts of the pandemic contributing to factors like loss of income, extreme isolation and anxiety canceled hospital treatments, and more, our new “I’ll Pay it Forward” campaign makes it easy to get involved and make a difference for those affected. In addition to monetary donations, we invite absolutely anyone, whether as an individual or a member of another organization, to help contribute to the ongoing support requests. By simply sharing a personal story, one can provide inspiration, motivation, and support to another patient or caregiver. And, by assisting in promoting the fundraising campaign through social media, we can help spread the word even further and make a profound impact together.

I’ll be sharing more about the “I’ll Pay it Forward” campaign in my next article. Meanwhile, whether you’re a newly-diagnosed cancer patient or one long into your journey, don’t forget Debby’s 3 G’s: Get Informed, Get Organized, Get Moving!?