Six Questions I Ask Myself to Leverage the Power of Emotional Self-Awareness in Conscious Parenting

Like many of us, I watch YouTube videos. There are all kinds of influencers, shapers, psychologists, and gurus who have something to say.

Some aim to scam you, others aim to help, and some are somewhere in between.

But from time to time, you come across that light bulb video or quote that deeply triggers you.

That happened to me a few weeks ago.

I was watching a video podcast snippet where the guest psychologist mentioned that children often lack the emotional vocabulary to express how they feel or when they need help.

So, when they are younger, they express this by asking if you want to play with them.

In that moment, those words cut into me deeply. Whether or not it was exactly what he said, I knew it was true for me.

I instantly remembered the times where I had no energy left or simply no desire to play with my son. Even though he asked me several times, I kept disappointing him because I did not have the mental energy to play.

A sudden rush of guilt surged through my veins as tears of shame rolled down my cheeks. He was with his father that weekend, and the tears helped me reflect on how I can show up better as a parent.

In these moments, it is easy to fall into the parent guilt trap and blame ourselves while dwelling in our emotional suffering.

But that does no one any good, least of all your children.

Like the late Dr. Maya Angelou said, "When you know better, you do better."

And this is how I use emotional self-awareness to practice conscious parenting.

For me, conscious parenting is becoming aware of how you parent by being present in how you show up with your kids.

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Are you trying to parent the way you wish your parents had shown up for you?

Are you projecting your emotional baggage onto your kids through no fault of their own?

Are you trying to control their behaviors instead of guiding them through life's journey?

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These questions and more are not easy and can be quite triggering.

I know it was for me, as at times I found myself parenting my son the way I wish I had been parented, only to end up parenting him worse than how I was parented. Because my son is my son, not a version of my childhood experience.

Sometimes I get so caught up in work or challenges that I project my emotions onto him without being present.

At the end of the day, we are human.

We make mistakes and we do the best we can with what we have until we know better.

And when we know better, we can then become conscious and do better.

Emotional self-awareness is all about how your emotions influence how you show up in life during challenging situations.

Do you understand what you feel and why you feel it?

Are you aware of the root cause of your triggers, or do you have no clue why your emotions are expressed with high intensity?

Developing emotional self-awareness is the foundation for understanding ourselves better, so we can show up better or differently with the ones we love. That's how we grow and evolve together.

For me, over these past years, emotional self-awareness has helped me ask some difficult and uncomfortable questions. Often, I felt unready for the answers.

But it is precisely in those moments we need to become more aware so we can be brutally honest with ourselves about how we show up and how it is affecting the well-being of our kids.

At the end of the day, we are human. We make mistakes and we mess up. God knows I am far from the perfect parent and do make mistakes.

But it is emotional self-awareness that helps me stay balanced as a parent to ensure I don't reflect or project my own emotional baggage onto my son. To parent with presence, power, and compassion based on who my son is, not a previous version of my own childhood.

The Power of Six Reflective Questions for Higher Emotional Self-Awareness

The following six questions are questions which have helped me tap into my emotional self-awareness and show up as a parent who is more self-aware and conscious on how I raise my son in today's age.

What emotions am I feeling at this moment, and what might be their triggers?

Take a moment to identify your current emotional state. Consider what has recently happened that might have triggered these emotions. Understanding the source can help in managing your response.

How do my feelings shape the way I interact with my child?

Reflect on a recent interaction with your child. How did your mood or feelings at the time influence your behavior? Acknowledging this can help you make more conscious choices in future interactions.

What strategies can I employ to maintain emotional control during stressful times

Think about a stressful situation with your child. What could you do differently to remain calm and present? Listing these strategies can prepare you for similar situations.

Am I reacting to my child based on my own feelings, or am I genuinely listening to understand their needs?

Recall a time when your child needed your support. Did your emotions influence how you responded? Consider how active listening might change the outcome next time.

How can I use emotional moments as opportunities to teach my child about understanding and expressing feelings?

Identify a recent emotional moment with your child. How could you use this as a teaching moment about emotions? Discussing feelings openly can help your child learn to express themselves healthily.

What can I do today to demonstrate the emotional intelligence I wish to cultivate in my child?

Set a small, achievable goal for today that reflects emotional intelligence, like showing empathy or managing your stress visibly. Your actions are powerful lessons for your child.

These questions and prompts are designed to help you explore your emotional landscape and its impact on your parenting, ultimately fostering a deeper connection with your child.

Your 6 Day Journey to Inner Peace, Out Now!

Remember last week when I shared that I am a mathematical disaster because I promised something new was coming, but then failed to count the weeks correctly? Well, my mathematical neurons have been charged, and today is the week of release!

In life, we are thrown lemons all the time. Life's challenges, both expected and unexpected, throw us off balance, leaving us feeling depleted, helpless, and even burnt out.

Finding Inner Peace and sharing my journey with you has been at the heart of how I developed a calm and confident mind that turns lemons into lemonade with emotional intelligence.

It is the start of this journey I would like to share with you through a new creative gift as a thank you for your support. A six-day Inner Peace journey you can listen to before you fall asleep as I help you become the version of you who is more than capable of moving mountains, overcoming challenges, and feeling inner peace along the way.

I hope that it will help you as much as it has helped me and others to become calm amid chaos, and live with a deep knowing that life happens for us, not to us.

Love, Nadja ?? ?? ??

P.S. If you are ready to dive deeper into your journey of Inner Peace with emotional resilience, check out The EQ Oasis!