Six months of uncertainty in 2022

Shortly after the terrible war in Ukraine had started at the end of February, we had a conversation at the kitchen table with our four family members: Are we going to offer our freshly acquired and renovated apartment above our own flat to Ukrainian refugees? We were concerned about the potential responsibility and Dunja had to give up her freshly conquered office space. Yet, after a brief phase of uncertainty, we unanimously agreed: when if not now...? Shortly afterwards, Anna (being pregnant), Oleksandra, and Elena moved in.

How was it for them?

One of the more annoying chapters of our journey together was the inefficiency and the lack of customer orientation by the city authorities. Yes, there was a lot of goodwill and friendly people and even financial support available. But, without our help, our three guests would have completely struggled with all the chaos and bureaucracy (most of it in German) and the lack of clarity and ownership regarding help for Ukrainian refugees.

We have talked about it a lot, and still we can only imagine slightly better now how it must have felt for our three guests to leave their country against their desire and to live in fear about everyone left behind. How to behave as a refugee, as a guest, as a tenant, as a friend?

We have felt the uncertainty: They had to get used to mixed emotions about their new “guest status”, feeling degrees of anger, fear, pride, and gratitude…? And, of course, the constant uncertainty of: Should I stay or should I go (back home)?

Elena wrote to us after her return to Kiev: “What surprised me the most was the humanity and kindness of everyone who helped us: It's not that I don't believe in people :) But in such a terrible situation as a war in my native country, gratitude to people who selflessly help is huge.”

How was it for us?

We were uncertain as well. How to treat them - as refugees, guests, tenants, eventually as friends…?

We learned a lot from our own uncertainty - and we are very grateful for having been able to make this experience. While it was obvious that we we were trying to do something good for others, it was also a great gift and discovery for us. Some hidden memories from my parents’ generation about refugees and support after the Second World War came to the surface. My grandparents had hosted (in very limited space) a family from Hamburg for many years. The Yugoslav war obviously was even more recent - and Dunja remembers it painfully. We are more aware now how fragile our world is these days and that empathy and mutual support is a kit that can keep people, society and the world closer together.

As the last of our new friends (and with an impressive belly), Anna has returned home end of August...

Anna Shmatok , Oleksandra Horchynska , Elena: We miss you… All the best for you and your (soon to grow) families, stay safe and healthy! ?? We hope to be able to visit you in Kiev very soon... ????