Six Intelligent Steps to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence

Having a strong emotional intelligence (EQ) is crucial is for living a more happier and fulfilling life. Also, people with higher EQ, seems to experience more ease & flow in their lives.

However, for a CIO, having a high level of EQ is even more critical Why?

Well, there are many reasons, but one stands out: CIOs must rely on their team to get the job done. Their performance is a direct result of their employee's performance. On the one hand, they are responsible for the entire IT organization, which gives them the power and authority to shape the IT strategy in their vision, but on the other hand, their authority can't help them control things that they can't directly control, as much as they wish they could. That is to say, their circle of control is limited: they can't be everywhere and they definitely can't micromanage every aspect of the projects, or stakeholders.

It's a tough spot to be in:

A CIO's success depends on others; others that CIOs have limited control over them.?

If you are a CIO, or working with a CIO, or want to become a CIO, read further to learn some key strategies to increase your emotional intelligence (EQ) and consequentially boost your team performance - control is good, emotional intelligence is better.

Why Emotional Intelligence Should Matter for CIOs

As a CIO, you deal with a high level of uncertainty, and so does your team. You need to think ahead of the game and develop strategies that align with the ever-changing landscape of technology and business needs. Your circle of control and influence is limited. Still, the good news is that you have a powerful tool that could help you and your team to navigate uncertainty successfully without the need for complete control - that is, if you can trust yourself and your team - trust that you and your team can navigate uncertainty and deliver the best possible outcome given the circumstances. And to be able to trust, you need to understand yourself and those around you much deeper.

Emotional intelligence is understanding, managing, and using emotions effectively in our interactions. It enables us to become better communicators, decision-makers, and ultimately better leaders.?

Emotional intelligence is a set of skills that empowers you to lead authentically. It helps you provide constructive feedback, guide team members, identify team dynamics, and create an environment that fosters collaboration. Emotionally intelligent leaders also build positive relationships with stakeholders, such as customers, colleagues, and upper management, all essential elements of high-performing teams.?

#culturematters

However, developing emotional intelligence is only part of the equation. To succeed as a CIO, you must create a culture within your team where everyone feels comfortable being their best selves. This means providing an atmosphere where team members can express their ideas openly and constructively critique each other while respecting one another's opinions. To do this, you need to incorporate emotional intelligence into your leadership style.?

#hyperrational

Unfortunately, many CIOs lack the skills and knowledge to develop emotional intelligence. This can lead to poor team performance, low morale, and conflict in the workplace. To make the matter more complicated, many IT professionals focus on logic and objectivity and view emotions as counterproductive. As a result, they avoid conflicts, which can lead to hyper-rational, pleaser, avoider, and victim tendencies. Often, they find it hard to speak up their truth for fear of retaliation or rejection by their CIO. This behaviour can impact their well-being and reduce their influence, making them feel marginalized and powerless.?

To overcome this, it's crucial to understand and develop emotional intelligence as a CIO. Doing so will benefit you and your team's success and help you build positive relationships with other business units. It will also help you empower your team members and make them feel valued and appreciated, leading to a more productive and collaborative work environment.

Here are six steps to improve your EQ:

1- Self-Awareness: Know Your Triggers and Limitations

The concept of self-awareness is twofold: first, it means being able to recognize how your actions, decisions, and emotions affect yourself and those around you; second, it's about understanding your limitations. When you can identify your triggers — emotions, pressures, and stressors — you are far better equipped to respond to the situation. Not only can you buffer any unwanted reactions at the moment, but you can also proactively manage difficult situations in the future.?

Additionally, identifying where your knowledge falls short allows you to own your weaknesses and seek out people who are experts in those areas. With this knowledge, you can better determine when you need to trust outside advice or when you should trust your own instincts.

By investing time in developing self-awareness and emotional intelligence skills now, CIOs can better lead and increase the performance of their teams down the line. Most high-performing CIOs hire executive coaches to help them improve their self-awareness, as it is relatively difficult to notice one's blind spots.

2- Self-Regulation: Stay Calm and Think Before Reacting

A hallmark of emotional intelligence is controlling one's emotions, especially in difficult situations. As a CIO, when faced with an extreme problem, it is necessary to stay calm and think before reacting. You must develop and hone the ability to self-regulate if you want your team members to have faith in your leadership capabilities.

Use the following self-regulation techniques (per situation, tell yourself):

• Observing the emotion before it takes over - "When I recognize the feelings rising up inside of me, I don't let them control me."
• Thinking before responding - "Instead of letting my emotions get the best of me immediately, I take a few deep breaths and give myself a moment to consider the implications of any action I might take."
• Vocally expressing my feelings constructively - "If I'm feeling frustrated or upset about something, I find a way to communicate that without being too hostile or accusatory. That way, the problem can be solved more quickly and effectively."

By learning to self-regulate and pause for just a few moments before responding emotionally, even in high-pressure situations, CIOs can vastly improve their teams' performance through better communication and trust-building.

3- Motivation: Maintain an Optimistic and Growth Mindset

As a CIO, one of the most crucial ingredients for success is maintaining motivation - both in yourself and those around you. This means constantly striving for increased productivity and positive results while keeping morale high regardless of your challenges.

To achieve this, it is essential to maintain an optimistic and growth mindset. Doing so will create an atmosphere of empowerment where everyone has the opportunity to reach their full potential, allowing your team to learn from failure and make continuous improvements.

To cultivate a growth mentality, here are some tips:

1. Keep a solution-oriented outlook when discussing problems
2. Encourage team members to work collaboratively as a unit
3. Show appreciation for your colleagues' successes
4. Act as a mentor rather than a manager
5. Regularly review goals and objectives together as a team

When there is mutual respect between leadership and employees, positivity, creativity, and productivity can and will skyrocket to new heights - reaffirming the importance of emotional intelligence in the CIO role.

4- Empathy: Develop Deep Listening Skills

As a CIO, having empathy is not just about identifying the emotions of your team, nor is it about showing empty compassion; it is about actively listening to what they have to say and considering those words - it is about genuinely caring for the other. Empathy involves understanding how someone else feels and responding appropriately, with your whole being and not just words.

Developing deep listening skills is the key to becoming a more empathetic CIO. This involves creating an environment of trust where team members feel comfortable talking openly and honestly about their feelings and experiences.

To start developing deep listening skills, you can use these strategies:

• Take time to truly understand what your team members say by pausing before responding or asking clarifying questions.
• Stop multitasking while speaking with someone; focus intently on them, look into their eyes, mimic their posture, and be present.
• Listen without judgment or making assumptions; try to avoid offering solutions prematurely.
• Let the speaker finish, resisting the urge to cut them off or interrupt too much.
• Concentrate on understanding the bigger picture by asking open-ended questions.

Through deep listening, you can gain insight into what it takes for your team members to thrive and add value. This will help you cultivate an environment that encourages better collaboration, higher morale, and improved performance.

5- Social Skills: Improve Communication and Build Trust

CIO's social skills are essential to improving communication, transparency, and building trust in their team. Trust is critical to any successful organization; without it, team dynamics can quickly become strained.

An emotionally intelligent CIO prioritizes positive communication over anything else:

• Make sure everyone on the team knows how their work contributes to the company's larger mission.?
• Create an environment where team members feel empowered to speak up and give ideas or suggestions for improvement.
• Everyone has different needs regarding emotional intelligence, so be open-minded and supportive when giving constructive criticism or feedback.
• Before providing feedback, mention what you like about their action, input, idea, or even objection - this will help them feel understood and acknowledged and makes them more receptive to listening to your input.
• Encourage positive feedback among team members and use open-ended questions that invite dialog. This type of communication helps build relationships and foster an atmosphere of respect. It also encourages greater collaboration between team members and can lead to more creative solutions for the organization's challenges.

Show empathy in difficult times and help your team develop their emotional intelligence by modeling it yourself. Ultimately, leading by example is one of the best ways you can help boost your team's performance.

6- Continuous Practice: Make Emotional Intelligence a Habit

Developing and maintaining emotional intelligence is a challenging task. Being a CIO means your average working hours is between 12 to 14 hours, and most CIOs also find themselves working over the weekends. So, how can you improve your EQ when you have no time to breathe? It takes continuous practice to ensure EQ becomes a habit that sticks. So, create space in your daily routine to improve your emotional intelligence.?

As the saying goes, "Work smarter, not harder," which is precisely what improving your EQ will provide you with. The stronger your EQ, the less time and effort it would take to inspire, influence and guide others to follow your lead. Improving your team,' EQ will help to improve their performance, quality of work, creativity, healthy conflict management, and risk-taking skills.

Here are three steps that can help you do just that:

1. Take time out for self-reflection: Taking just five minutes each day to observe and reflect on your emotions can be an essential part of this journey. Reflecting on the feelings you've experienced during the day, or your interactions, can help you become aware of your own emotions and better understand those of others.
2. Develop empathy: Connecting with empathy means putting yourself in someone else's shoes and understanding their point of view – even when it's not aligned with yours. Empathy helps manage team dynamics more effectively and solve complex problems creatively.
3. Learn from experience: One of the best ways to become emotionally intelligent is by learning from experience – both yours and that of others around you. Craft a plan for how you can use previous situations as learning opportunities and apply them in future scenarios. That way, you can gain more significant insights into yourself and your team dynamics, leading to more successful outcomes.

Conclusion

Achieving success as a CIO takes more than technical expertise; it takes emotional intelligence. Having an increased emotional intelligence is not only beneficial, but it is essential. It can create a more positive company culture and improve your team's performance, which in turn will enhance your well-being and your performance as a great leader - a great happy, positive, and successful leader will inspire the whole team to follow his/her footsteps - a circle of contagious positivity.

It starts with recognizing and managing your emotions, building relationships, and developing a sense of empathy for others. The seven strategies outlined in this article provide tips and advice for becoming a more emotionally intelligent CIO. The truth is that emotional intelligence can only be mastered after a while. It requires a commitment to continuous learning and improvement. To that end, you should set aside time daily to focus on self-improvement and developing your emotional intelligence. This could be anything from taking a few minutes to reflect on your emotions to engaging with your team to build more meaningful relationships.?

Making an effort to nurture and grow your emotional intelligence will not only benefit you, but it will also benefit your team and the organization as a whole.

#cio #leadership #itleadershio #emotionalintelligence