THE SIX BILLION DOLLAR WOMAN

THE SIX BILLION DOLLAR WOMAN

Author’s note: This never before told 3 year old story ends up being spot on for RIGHT NOW. You’ll see. Ok start =>

Built into your ambitious (enough) DNA is the noble desire to make an impact. Many fall short, forced to admit at the end of their meaningless days - if honest - that their impact was no deeper than a door ding. Occasionally, you’ll get one meteor that craters the earth like Winslow Arizona. Take my wife…PLEASE ~The Crater Maker~ !

Before you tear a rotator cuff patting yourself on the back for having a separate recycle bin as your “impact”, let’s cut to the chase:?

SHOW ME THE MONEY.?

On this planet, it's the #1 indicator of success. My wife was good for a clean $6 Billion IMPACT, no more, no less.?

How’d she do dat? It’s called strategy, sting, shakedown and RAGE. Brains, braun and passion.?

The Strategy: Create a mechanism to get LIVE with the Speaker of the House.?

The Sting: Execute GREAT ACTING - flawlessly.?

The Shakedown: Threaten hard, threaten often, and be able to back it up.

The Rage: A dead first born son did the trick for us - find your own. But you gotta get mad. Really mad.

Speaker Pelosi now has a policy: “No bereaved parents NEAR my office” for good reason. Us. But it was too late for Paul Ryan. So into his office we finally sauntered - unassumingly. His team THOUGHT they were vetting a promising female Republican Candidate for Congress. But “the buyer rarely buys what the seller thinks he’s selling”. That can also be flipped - and it was. Our odds were less than zero of actually getting elected. The Dems were dropping $25M to take Ronna McDaniel’s (GOP Chair) district to embarrass the party. But $25M was chump change compared to what we were after - we never really expected the job. Some other loser stole our candidacy via signature fraud - then she lost $500K of her own money trying to beat Haley’s $25M. Sucker. Karma WAS quite a bitch for her.

Our game and our aim was MUCH BIGGER - as in BILLIONS. And yes, WE WON.

Oh Speaker Paul Ryan’s team just LOVED us - until it got ugly. As Eminem had waxed: “It was nice in the beginning…but the mood all changed.” UGLY is often where the deal gets done. I read “The Art of the Deal” in the 80s. This technique was not in it - but that didn’t stop President Trump from having to pitch our unique cause to the watching world in the SOTU the very next week. Here’s how that went down:

After sizing us up as your typically harmless star chasing amateur hour narcissists running for U.S. Congress, things got real, and we turned on them… with a baseball bat and a sledge hammer. Suddenly everything in that inescapable room inside the walls of Congress became nails to us.?

Nail pounding #1:

Us: “Ok fellas, thanks for checking us out. Before we leave - there’s this issue of Opioids we’re leading our campaign with. Now - we saw that when Senator John McCain went thumbs down on the proposed new health care bill six months ago he also killed the $48 Billion YOU magnanimously proposed towards stopping the Opioid Epidemic. (At this point they were SO proud of themselves for being on record as having cared and?even having TRIED.) The problem is, there’s 30,000+ (35K in actuality) Americans that died of overdose since then. Do you want to guess who we hold accountable for that? Well, I’m glad you’re sitting down. YOU are accountable for it. Period. In fact?- since you “lost” McCain’s vote - you haven’t done anything - literally ‘Jack Squat’ is what that is called where we come from. And here we are running for Congress on that single issue. Tsk tsk tsk. It would make sense then, to you, that as parents who lost a kid (DrewSwan.com) the same way and folks who seek to prevent others from our grief - that it's not acceptable that you dropped the ball. It’s NOT OK that tens of thousand of kids dropped dead. On your watch. You get that right? (They were shaking there heads up and down in agreement).?

But wait, there’s more.

At this point we did the prop comic thing - only we weren’t laughing. The prop was the sound of the “The Plop” - the loud plop The Detroit News made when we dropped it in front of them. It was published just 6 days earlier - all righteous sounding pieties of how we were going to change the world, etc=> https://www.detroitnews.com/story/news/politics/2018/01/13/kristine-bonds-congress/109432870/.?

“Please gentlemen - have a read.” They did. “Oh yea, magazines too”:?

https://www.hourdetroit.com/community/meet-some-of-the-women-running-for-office-in-michigan/

Nail pounding #2:

“But look - it gets worse…for you. We’re famous. Oh you didn’t dig that deep before we came in here? Yea - we’re Detroit Royalty bruhs (it was an all guy meeting except Kristine). THAT explains why every Congressman we spoke to today had NEVER seen a “Four minute fluff piece on television simply ANNOUNCING a bid for Congress.” => youtu.be/S2H6ROk_Tzk?

Huh. Guess we did good eh boys? Lucky for us we can go on TV on this issue as often as we like. Translation: - no more operating in the dark for you. We are going to broadcast your oversight until you show us the money or we’re elected, whichever comes first. Your inaction is killing and has killed TENS OF THOUSANDS of young Americans, and as parents of one of them, we’re hanging this one on your necks - with no way to blame McCain. Now - we’re aware this can sound mean and hyper-focused, and you now also know we don’t give a damn.?

Look - you got a SOTU coming up next week - all about Defense. There’s been a change. An addition. We’re thinking you - who writes that speech - are now open to plugging “Opioids as a bad thing” - something we should probably fix right away.

I cannot remember more men shaking their heads in such violent agreement. We knew we had ‘em. As we exited and walked down the hall, I wasn’t sure if it was mine or my wife’s balls I could hear clanging together. Fade to black and fly back to Detroit. Drop the mic, yada yada. We shot our wad.

Two days later The Honorable Congressman Kerry Bentivolio called us. “What happened in Ryan’s office? What did you two DO?!”?

Us: What was necessary, Kerry. What have you heard?

Kerry: What have I heard? What has EVERY member of The United States Congress heard? ALL - no exceptions - need to become overnight experts on “The Opioid Epidemic” because now it’s going into the SOTU as a last minute change - YOURS!?

Us: Oh that’s terrific - it worked! Now what?

Kerry: Worked? Yea, it worked. It’s getting two minutes of pitch from The President and all Congress - no exceptions, need to sound intelligent afterward when asked about it. (BTW - Kerry had previously given us the unsolicited advice we’ll “never get elected on that one issue.”)?

Us: Who mentioned anything about winning an election. We don’t have $25M to compete with Haley Stevens. We just wanted to stick it to the man - and we did. Felt great.

Kerry: You don’t understand. A SOTU pitch gets budget behind it - and it’s NEVER small.?

Us: Are you confident enough that we can call our own shot and tell everyone at the 11th district’s watching of the SOTU that he’ll say it - BEFORE it happens?

Kerry: Done deal. That train has left. Promise.

We did and HE DID. And boy did we sweat it in that 11th district crowd until he did. The guy can flat out sell if he can do anything - he’s a walking infomercial.

Two months later, WA-LA: “Opioids get $6 Billion.”

And THAT my friends, it how you crater the planet. Nothing by accident, noble cause, a little acting, a little intrigue and a lot of common sense strategy envisioned from the start.

That’s all folks - there’s your real life $6 Billion Dollar Woman. She even won an organic political poll on the subject.?

U N F O R T U N A T E L Y?the new administration sees it differently. THEIR Opioid Idea is EXACTLY this:

“If we can simply let the opioids and fentanyl thru from Mexico unchecked where 80% + of it comes from - along with the cartels, we can get that meager 70,000 deaths of young Americans up to 90,000 in no time!” SUCCESS!! That is exactly what has happened. This administration is killing our kids at a clip NO ONE thought possible.?

These are facts - so damn sticky those things sometimes. So annoying to be exposed by a bereaved parent - what will our cancelation fall out be? Pelosi knows the dirty little secret about bereaved parents - WE DON’T CARE. Our pain level supersedes and leaves in the dust anything that lemmings from either party whine about. “The man with an experience is NEVER at the mercy of a man with an argument.”?- Benny Hinn

It’s crazy but it's happening - THEY are doing it - and they have blood on their hands. And here you are at the end of an article you thought was me bragging about my wife. But now you know the truth - the ugly truth friend. That open border is a death sentence to our kids. May you never experience what we did… “DREW faded to black” - from a PHONE CALL!?

Now it’s your turn to step up. Are we talking door ding or crater for you? The choice is yours if you OWN IT. And your mom was right btw - You CAN do it!