Sit With Generals

I entered 2024 with three life goals:

1. To Build What I've Dreamed
2. To incubate my ideas - not incinerate or eternally shelve them
3. To pursue innovation not duplication?

Want to Start a Revolution? Sit with Generals

As I mapped strategy for the year, I made a list of generals I desired to sit with and learn from. I coined them "generals" and not "elders" by design.?

We live in an ageist society.

To our collective detriment, there is a tendency to deem and treat older adults as irrelevant, fragile, outmoded, and obsolete.? Yet, nothing could be further from the truth.??

?One of my favorite African proverbs underscores the power of intergenerational relationships. It states, "What an old man can see sitting down, a young man cannot see even if he climbs the highest Iroko tree".?

Generals possess insight and vision that only life and leadership through multiple seasons brings.

Within my list of generals, some I was personally acquainted with, and some I admired from a distance. Others I sought out because I have formally or informally been a beneficiary of their sacrifice and service in the earth.

I recently had breakfast with one of the generals on my list. I was a 20-something young professional when we were first introduced.? She was in her late forties and the sister-friend of one of my early career mentors.? I met her in a milestone breezeway of her career.? She was rapidly ascending to a C-Suite role that would make her CEO of one of the largest entities in the state and region.

Over the years, we've smiled at meetings, hugged at community events, or exchanged small talk in group settings, but never had a 1:1 conversation. Three weeks ago, everything changed. She accepted my invite to breakfast. The insight she imparted that day radically shifted my perspective and leadership.

?Preparing for a Meeting with a General

I believe there is a head + heart posture you need when meeting with a general. I offer these as recommendations to consider as you pursue and build meaningful relationships with elders you admire:

1. Be punctual - Remember: Generals come from a different era. Timely arrival is a nonverbal display of respect. Honor the person whose time and insight you are requesting by showing up early [which is on time for a general :)]
2. Speak from your soul, not your resume - This is not the time to be "impressive". Before accepting a meeting, a general has most likely studied you. So lead with the soul and assume the posture of a student and learner. Be vulnerable. Ask for insight connected to pain points and pressures in your life and leadership and invite stories from their lived experience and leadership.
3. Tough Skin Required - Generals - especially Generals of Color, have lived and pioneered through overt injustice and administrative evil.? As such, there is a mental toughness they have had to cultivate that makes them immune to some of the conditions "young folks" deem "hard". At one point during our meeting, the General leaned in and she bluntly told me, "YOU CANNOT QUIT. You have a divine assignment". Out of nowhere tears welled and fell out of my eyes. Do you think that "eye water" moved the general??? Not one bit! She kept it straight and rooted in love the entire time! She bared her soul and encouraged me, but she transferred resilience and held me accountable too!
4. Bring a Gift -- I study each general I invite and bring a gift rooted in their interests and hobbies. Gifting is not about whether or not the recipient "needs" the gift.? The gift is an extension of honor. It is an intentional expression of gratitude and care -- especially in a world that often renders elders invisible.?
5. Follow-Up -- A week following our meeting, I sent the general a handwritten note in the mail along with an update on how I am acting on the recommendations and wisdom she offered. Most generals are in a season of life where they draw strength through giving others the benefit of their wisdom without the pain. Circling in creates pathways for ongoing counsel!???

Look at the next 30 days on your calendar...where might you be able to protect sacred space to connect with a general you admire? Let me know how it goes!