‘Sisters Are Doin' It for Themselves’

Now this is a song to celebrate the conscious liberation of the female state! Mothers, daughters and their daughters too. Women to woman, we're singin' with you.

How I have longed to believe these Eurythmics' lyrics, that women are applauding each other’s achievements, supporting and encouraging each other in our careers. But I give a lot of talks on gender equality and a question that comes up very frequently is, ‘what about when women hold each other back?’. It’s usually asked by a woman who’s had a miserable experience working for a female boss – she’s been overworked, under-appreciated, given little flexibility, even bullied. It’s a tough one: my own experiences working with and for other women have generally been positive, but that’s irrelevant for someone who’s doubly discouraged because her career is being stymied by another woman. 

As I’ve probed the circumstances behind these decidedly unsisterly behaviours, a common link is that perpetrators are often in a difficult or vulnerable position; they are not really at 'the top' and other aspects of their lives may not be going so smoothly. That may be an explanation but it’s no excuse. Launching the 30% Club a decade ago, I asked several eminent businesswomen if they would help more women reach the boardroom; some objected on the basis that ‘No one ever helped me’. (I always countered, ‘Wouldn’t you have preferred it if they had?’). The data suggests that those few women who have reached the very top are actually very comfortable sharing their power with other women: Credit Suisse Research Institute’s 2016 Gender 3000 report shows that ‘female CEOs are 50% more likely to have a female Chief Finance Officer and 55% more likely to have women running business units’. But it’s a long path to the summit and those women who do make it are still the exception. Far more women’s careers today are going to be influenced by the attitudes of female middle managers than female CEOs. 

Ahead of this year's International Women’s Day (8th March), I’m suddenly feeling more confident that as career opportunities are growing for women, so is the realisation that it’s not only right but rational to help each other. There are several reasons behind my newfound confidence. First is the growing crescendo of strong, mutually supportive senior female voices within and beyond the 30% Club. Those difficult conversations of a decade ago are no more, replaced by a powerful global network of women generously focused on actively creating career opportunities for the next generation. The club, now led by the magnificent duo Ann Cairns and Brenda Trenowden, held its first international strategy day in Dublin last month and I enjoyed speaking with women from a wide range of countries, both geographically and culturally, from Poland and Brazil to South Africa, Chile and the Gulf Co-operation Countries. Every single woman made it clear that support is both cherished and offered gladly. Of course, men play a very significant role in the 30% Club too – that’s been a defining characteristic from the start – but a collaborative rather than competitive approach between women is also key to its success.

Through my work with the 30% Club, I've met so many women working in different ways towards our shared goal of gender equality. I’ve come to think of these multiple efforts as a patchwork quilt, coming together to create the result, each ‘square’ being a valuable contribution but insufficient on its own. Linking our efforts together is important if we are going to make the big breakthroughs. My first International Women’s ‘Day’ speaking engagement this week is a ‘fireside chat’ with FGM activist Nimco Ali at the Moving Ahead Gender Balance Summit on 2nd March. Nimco and I first met at a dinner in 2017 to celebrate the launch of Edwina Dunn’s ‘The Female Lead’, a wonderful book of multiple inspiring stories of women working in many different fields. As we’ll discuss on stage, Nimco and I are now working together, combining our experiences, contacts and our individual ‘brands’ to make more impact than either of us could on our own as we strive for a future where girls everywhere can fulfil their potential.

That's a big ambition! Closer to home, a rather smaller scale venture has also shown me that given the chance, women can - and will - help each other generously. Three months ago, I started posting daily ‘career dressing tips’, prompted by another frequently asked question: how to dress confidently for work. It’s been wonderful seeing how naturally a community of women has come together, commenting and offering their own career dressing advice, including how dress well sustainably, appropriately and without spending too much money. I have started to feature other ‘models’ to include women of different ages, personalities, shapes and sizes and (to date) I’ve also posted one ‘review’, a hosiery spreadsheet (to considerable merriment amongst my family). The posts have become a springboard for some lovely conversations. They range from a woman sharing her recovery from illness along with dramatic, triumphant weight loss and now her return to a career (and new clothes!) to more prosaic advice about how to restore tired handbags. I post every weekday morning and the only thing I can predict about the comments is that they will be supportive. 

This is not a rare example of 'everyday sisterhood'. Watching Alison Philips, Editor of The Mirror and Sarah Vine, Daily Mail columnist, reviewing the newspapers on a recent Andrew Marr Show, my husband commented how naturally the two women supported each other, even when they had different views. So much TV and radio current affairs coverage is combative but Richard and I both really enjoyed Alison and Sarah’s commentary because of their rapport. I’d love to see the growing numbers of powerful women in the media use their power to evolve journalism (especially tabloid journalism) away from a macho, ‘gotcha’ style towards a kinder and more thoughtful approach. It’s a topical issue: The Mirror’s owner has defended its coverage of Caroline Flack before her tragic death; irrespective of the rights and wrongs of that coverage, there's clearly a big opportunity for the editor to consciously promote a new, less salacious approach to celebrities.  

But perhaps the most obvious reason to be optimistic about the power and reality of 'the sisterhood’ is the very public victory for the #MeToo campaign in Harvey Weinstein’s conviction. The #MeToo movement began twenty years before Hollywood actresses got involved, but it took the combination of the stars’ influence and the power of social media for the campaign to dramatically shift gears. In the first 24 hours after actress Alyssa Milano tweeted ‘If all the women who have been sexually harassed or assaulted wrote ‘Me Too’ as a status, we might give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem’, 4.7 million engaged on Facebook alone. Together, they called ‘time’s up’ on behaviours that had persisted for decades, changing attitudes around what's acceptable virtually overnight. A dramatic example – in every sense of that word – of what can be achieved if women reach out to each other and collectively demand change. 

So this International Women’s Day (Week/Month/Year/Decade!), let's help each other out whenever and however we can. And let's celebrate our individual successes AND how much more we can achieve together.

Woman to woman, we're singin' with you!