The Sisterhood Wound: Why Women’s Empowerment Must Start Within | IWD 2025

I stuttered a lot growing up. My speech ability was far below average, according to my teachers at the time. They recommended speech therapy, but my parents couldn’t afford it. So, I stayed silent. I couldn’t bear the ridicule—the rolling eyes, the impatient sighs, the way people walked away as I struggled to find the words.

I was told I had potential, but also that I was a slow learner. I hesitated to take action, always waiting to see what would happen, too afraid to make a move. And in many ways, that was true. I was risk-averse because taking action meant exposure—to criticism, to rejection, to harm. So, I became hyper-vigilant, doing everything I could to avoid getting hurt.

It took years before I dared to open my mouth and speak. But even then, my words weren’t truly mine. I spoke from a place of wounds, not worth. I didn’t recognize my own value because I had never taken the time to heal. I didn’t yet understand that life happens for us, not to us.

For so long, I saw myself through the eyes of my past teachers and those who told me I would never amount to anything. As cliché as it sounds, I spent years trying to prove them wrong—to prove that I was someone, that I would amount to something, that I was worthy of love just as I am. Because if we’re brutally honest with ourselves, most of life’s misery stems from a lack of love—love for others, love for self.

We’ve been taught that self-love is selfish, that we must sacrifice our own fulfillment for the happiness of others. But is it truly selfless to please others at the expense of our own well-being?

This cycle of proving and pleasing went on for years. Then, I became an entrepreneur. And suddenly, I had no choice but to heal my past wounds—because a business rooted in resentment cannot thrive. I had to build something different.

A business rooted in love, not hate.

A business rooted in worth, not wounds.

A business rooted in service, not survival.

A business rooted in confidence, not confusion.

Life has taught me many lessons—the hard way. And there’s so much I wish I could tell my younger self. I wish she had known that most of her suffering wasn’t necessary, that she could surrender to the experience and trust that everything she was searching for was already within her.

Healing the Sisterhood Wound

Today is International Women’s Day 2025. I make no secret of the fact that I’m not a big fan of topical holidays, let alone Women’s Day. That, too, is a wound I’ve had to heal—the sisterhood wound.

I have experienced deep pain at the hands of women. Women I trusted, supported, and held in high regard. For a long time, I wanted nothing to do with women’s communities. I believed it was all a sham—performative, transactional. I had seen too many instances where support was conditional:

? As long as you didn’t outshine.

? As long as you didn’t provoke envy.

? As long as you stayed small.

For a while, avoiding women’s spaces felt like protection. But eventually, I realized I was allowing past hurt to shape my future. I was so focused on what I had lost that I wasn’t creating space to meet a different kind of woman.

? Women who had also been tested by life.

? Women who had chosen growth over bitterness.

? Women who didn’t see each other as competition but as allies.

Because if we, as women, allow insecurity, envy, and comparison to lead the way, how can we expect to be taken seriously when we talk about empowerment?

Change doesn’t start with policies or slogans—it starts within us.

It starts with healing.

When we heal, we walk through life lighter, clearer, and more intentional.

We see others without emotional clutter or bias.

We choose love over fear, connection over division.

That is the kind of sisterhood I want to celebrate today. That is the kind of women’s empowerment I stand for. Because powerful women are not born—they are made.

Honoring Women in Cybersecurity

Before I share my own message to my younger self, I want to honor the voices of a few brilliant women in the cybersecurity industry. Too often, we believe we are alone in our struggles. We fear that speaking our truth will lead to ridicule or exclusion.

But what makes us human—what connects us across backgrounds, cultures, genders, and titles—is our shared experience of emotion.

?? Sadness.

?? Pain.

?? Joy.

?? Love.

Thank you, Rebecca, Didar, and Amelia, for sharing your stories with this community. Your words will inspire other women to pursue their paths with confidence, conviction, and commitment—just as you have.

When I think about cybersecurity, the challenges I've faced have often seemed overwhelming, especially when trying to maintain a successful career. Dealing with the demands of caregiving, unexpected career gaps, the ups and downs of pregnancy, and my own mental health struggles, I often found myself feeling lost and alone, as if each obstacle was a mountain that I just might not make it over to the other side of. There were moments I truly believed there was no way back from where I stood.

But amid these trials, I discovered an incredible strength by reaching out to my support network. The guidance from my leaders, the support of my GP, the empathy of colleagues, and the unwavering love of my family and friends became my lifeline. Through their support, I learned that it's okay not to be okay, and that vulnerability isn't a weakness. What truly matters is how we use this understanding to move forward. These experiences taught me resilience and hope, and today I want to share that with other women in cyber: even in the toughest times, you are not alone, you can find your way through, and there is a huge community out there ready to help you accomplish that.

- Connect with Rebecca Taylor

I would say to my younger self: "You are your longest and biggest project. You will get better and better versions of yourself. Start going to therapy now, as it will take a few tries to find the right therapy and therapist for you. You are made of many layers, and you will discover yourself with amazement and surprises — good, bad, and ugly. This will set you free and enable you to feel good just being yourself, no judgment, no shame. It will also enable you to be a good leader by understanding people better, listening without judgment, talking without the need to be defensive. Learning your feelings and how to handle them will help you in your goal of helping other people succeed; you will have much more tolerance, patience, and wisdom to guide others. Along the way, you will find that you need less and less validation from others and eventually stop even thinking of what others think of you. You will know you are a human trying to be good and not feel a need to justify yourself anymore. Feeling calm being yourself and feeling strong to deal with what life throws at you. Enjoy the journey!"

- Connect with Didar Gelici

Overcoming the challenge of feeling overlooked as a young, female cybersecurity professional has been an upward battle, but one I feel that I have overcome within the last few years. Early on, I struggled with being taken seriously, often feeling like my voice was drowned out as a result of being perceived as young and naive. And I'll admit, I let this doubt define me for a long time! When I became self-employed, I knew this had to change for the sake of both my business and my own enjoyment of my working life. I focused on sharpening my interpersonal skills, proving my expertise through action rather than being the loudest voice, and seeking out peers who believed in my potential. Over time, I learned that credibility isn't just given — it's built through trust. I learned how to build trust with my clients, and this mostly meant being honest with them and empathetic of the issues they personally were facing. I learned to meet people where they were in their understanding, rather than believing that I needed to be the "expert" to be taken seriously. If I could tell my younger self anything, it would be this: You are more capable than you realize, and you already possess the skills of a credible professional — they're just not the ones you initially thought they were.

- Connect with Amelia Hewitt

What I Would Tell My Younger Self

I would probably need to write an entire encyclopedia to share all the lessons I wish my younger self had known—the DO’s and DON’Ts of love, life, and common sense.

But at the same time, I have no regrets. Every mistake, challenge, failure, and success has led me to this exact moment. And I love who I have become—and who I am still becoming every day.

The past is a stepping stone, not a prison. A lesson, not a life sentence.

So if anything, I hope these reminders inspire you to let go more, live and love more. To stop overthinking every step. To accept where you are now while still daring to dream big.

Because you’ve got this. You are already beautiful, bold, brave, and more than enough.

And the moment you start believing it and embodying it, the world will have no choice but to reflect that back to you.

Are you ready?

Let’s dive in!

1. It’s okay not to be okay.

It’s okay not to have everything figured out. Trust that when you move, life moves with you.

2. The difference between confidence and arrogance is humility.

You are not better than anyone, and no one is better than you.

3. Humility is a virtue—but don’t mistake it for hiding in the shadows.

Those who benefit from you playing small will always remind you to “stay humble.”

4. Transform judgment into curiosity.

People do the best they can with what they have at any given moment. Forgive them, let it go, and free yourself.

5. Master the art of discernment.

Judgment is condemning others.

Discernment is choosing what aligns with you.

6. Life is like a train ride.

Everyone is on their own journey. Some will join you for a while and leave at another stop. Some will sit next to you, while others you’ll never even notice.

? Keep riding your train—don’t get off at someone else’s destination.

7. Relationships are like trees.

?? Some people will leave like falling leaves in a new season.

?? Some seem solid, but will break in the storm.

?? And then there are the roots—the ones who stay, no matter what.

Find your roots. Love and honor them—they are rare gems.

?? Who are your roots in life? Comment below!

8. Never forget who created you.

It wasn’t mankind, but something far greater. Stop seeking validation from people to feel worthy, enough, or whole.

9. People’s opinions are just that—opinions.

You can care about them, but never let them define you.

10. Hurt people hurt people.

Don’t tolerate it, but don’t hold onto it either. Forgive, let go, and move on.

?? You can love a lot of people—but half of them don’t need to be in your life.

11. Take what you do seriously—but don’t take yourself too seriously.

Laughter is a gift. Your smile lights up the world.

12. When people tell you that you can’t do something…

What they’re really saying is: they can’t do it. Know the difference, and you’ll win in life.

13. Choose your inner circle wisely.

Most of your haters will be the people you once helped. Not everyone who surrounds you, supports you.

14. Not everything that shines is gold.

15. When you treat someone like a celebrity…

They will treat you like a fan.

16. Never put people on pedestals.

Character outweighs titles, status, and success—always.

17. Spiritual wealth comes before material wealth.

You can be financially broke but spiritually rich. And when you are, you will build wealth that lasts for generations.

18. Your coping mechanisms were once survival tools.

But if you hold onto them for too long, they will keep you stuck.

19. You can’t change your past—but you can change how you see it.

Your past was a lesson, not a life sentence.

20. Forgiveness isn’t about others—it’s about freeing yourself.

It means accepting that what happened, happened. You no longer wish it were any different.

? Forgiveness allows you to live with a lighter heart.

21. People can only meet you as deeply as they’ve met themselves.

It’s okay to be misunderstood.

?? You are not here to be understood. You are here to lead by example.

22. When people show you who they are the first time—believe them.

23. You always have a choice.

When faced with challenges and insurmountable mountains…

?? Transform fear into courage.

?? Transform anxiety into love.

You got this.

Thank You for Being Part of This Community

I hope this special edition for IWD 2025 inspires you to believe in yourself and unlock your greatest potential.

Because success isn’t about striving for fame. Success is about expressing your highest and truest self. You die once, but you live every day. Make the most of it, this is your life and yours alone.

?? You were given something that the world needs. Explore it. Share it. Express it.

?? Embrace the unknown—because life always happens at the edge of your comfort zone.

With love and gratitude,

Nadja ?? ?? ??

?? Deepen Your Journey

If you’re ready to take your emotional intelligence journey to the next level, here are some ways to continue your growth and transformation:

? Join the Thrive with EQ Community – A space for meaningful conversations, insights, and support as you build unshakeable confidence.

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The journey to confidence starts within—but you don’t have to walk it alone. Let’s grow together. ???