SISTERHOOD

I originally wrote this article a year ago an posted to my LinkedIn profile. It was received with much controversy, which is not how it was intended.

My old profile has been lost and I have started the journey with my new profile. Over the past year a few things have changed but the general underlying principle still holds true today. I have updated two dates in the article to reflect today's date.

I was watching the excellent ABC sitcom Blackish. It often has fun with stereotypes and we know stereotypes can be stereotypes for a reason. The black female owner of an advertising agency asked her white female employee “Why didn’t your sisters turn out for Hillary?” She then turns to the rest of the room and asks “Why is she just staring at me?” In response, the white female employee says, “Well, first, white women aren’t sisters. We hate each other.” This struck home with me and started me thinking.

Did you know women earn less than men at all educational levels and the gender pay gap widens for persons with advanced degrees compared to people with high school education? In 2006, female high school graduates earned 69% of what their male counterparts earned, women's earnings dropped to 66% of men's for those with advanced degrees. Only 14% of C Suite positions in the US are held by women.

The average woman is expected to earn $430,480 less than the average white man over a lifetime. Native American women can expect to earn $883,040 less, Black women earn $877,480 less, and Latina women earn $1,007,080 less over a lifetime. Asian American women's lifetime pay deficit is $365,440.

Who or what is to blame for this? It is 2018 and for the most part women can do almost any job a man can do. I myself am a 5’11” fitness competitor yet I am fairly sure that Tom Brady doesn’t want me on his offensive line and if I was in a burning building and a firefighter climbed up to carry me out I’d prefer a strong fit man over a strong fit woman. However for the most part we as women can do anything men can do. With one glaring exception … brotherhood.

I have a few dear friends who are female whom I would say I share a sisterhood with. No competition, no jealousy, however I find in life this can be hard to find. A strong woman who doesn’t let insecurities or jealousies cloud her thinking. Who cheers for her sisters at all costs. You see no one will fix the wage disparity for us. No one will fix the upper management disparity for us. We have to do it ourselves and we cannot do it as individuals. We must do it together, in unity.

Perhaps it is because of the lack of advancement opportunities or the lower pay but we as women tend to look at things from a place of scarcity. We constantly compare ourselves to other women in every aspect. How many social media followers, how much money, how well behaved our children, our fitness, our wardrobe, our looks. But none of that should matter. There will ALWAYS be someone more educated, prettier, thinner, smarter, wealthier, with better behaved kids, dressed better, more put together. All we can do is compare ourselves to … ourselves. Are we striving to be the best us we can be every day? The best mom, sister, daughter, employee? If so then what does it matter how the other women around us are doing? I will tell you they are our sisters and their success is our success. For each woman who gets promoted, opens her own business, finds success on social media, gets a degree, she carves a path for the rest of us to follow. We shouldn’t be holding each other back. Don’t judge me because I’m fit and I won’t judge you because you are smart. We all have different skills and abilities.

Men have this down, look around where you work. Men aren’t petty, they aren’t easily offended, they aren’t in a place of scarcity fighting to be the king bee, the most handsome, the fittest or the best dressed. For goodness sakes ladies, there are over a million men at work right now in golf shirts and chinos who look exactly the same and they think they look amazing! Men are in the business of business and frankly it’s reflected in their dominance of management and pay scale. We will never catch up until we can take the focus off of beating each other and our petty jealousies and put the focus on our jobs plain and simple.

Now I know many of us don’t have to worry about this and many of us do just go to work and do our best however, when compared against the dominate gender we are overwhelmingly focused on things that do not matter to us or our families in the long run. I have never had one man be jealous of me nor have I seen one be jealous of another. I have never heard the phrase “cattiness” be used to describe a man.

I know that this issue is much more complex and I am merely addressing one facet, yet it is a facet I see more often than not, at work, here on LinkedIn, even at my Church on Sunday. I know there are many sides and much more to be said.

To all of you strong confident women out there. I applaud you. Thank you for setting the example. Let’s support one another. Let’s lift each other up. Let’s coach and mentor and grow each other so that one day we might reach equality in pay and equality in upper level jobs.

Audi produced a beautiful commercial for the 2017 super bowl in which a father lamented what he would tell his daughter about why her grandmother and mother weren’t worth as much as her grandfather and father. The commercial ended with Audi committing to equal pay for equal work. As a mother of a bright, intelligent daughter, I loved it, you can find it here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6u10YPk_34

I am grateful for the good, kind, supportive men in my life. They enrich it, they make it more fun, vibrant and exciting. However, I don’t expect nor do I want them to save me. I want us, as women to wake up and realize it isn’t over. We aren’t yet treated equally and we won’t be until we get over our insecurities, embrace our differences and support one another as sisters. No one will fix this for us. We must do it ourselves. As I said in my previous article. WE are our only hope for a hero.

Ladies, we’ve got this.

Mariam

Instagram: @Mariam_rogers84