Siskel and Ebert Review Opposable Thumbs

"There are many books to read. Not everyone has to read business development or self help books. I am Roger Ebert from The Chicago Sun-Times."

"And I am Gene Siskel from the Chicago Tribune. Today's review is not a film. It would make an interesting movie. It is about- well, us. Opposable Thumbs covers a story I wish never ended."

RE: To quote Woody Allen: "I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying."

GS: "It's not that I'm afraid to die. I don't want to be there when it happens." Do you think we'll see another Woody Allen movie?

RE: Chances are someone will direct one of his unfinished scripts. He has distribution issues.

GS: It seems like he was a casualty of the #MeToo movement. I support that women should not be harassed-

RE: That is not a controversial stance.

GS: There was a lot of silence for too long. The other casualty of #MeToo is James Bond movies. Daniel Craig never ended a film in the arms of a woman.

RE: That was someone's idea of progress. Casino Royale and Skyfall ended differently. Who knows if we shall ever see another film in this franchise.

GS: There might be something bigger and more bloated. I hope they go back to basics after painting themselves into a corner.

RE: That made For Your Eyes Only a better film. It is amazing that we can see the past, present and future all at once.

GS: That might be a little too hot for the LinkedIn crowd, Roger. What did you think of Opposable Thumbs?

RE: It is unnecessary to review it. Are we going to give our lives mixed reviews? We had the power to change that.

GS: Our show worked better when we went off script. The first episode is hard to watch.

RE: Because of our delivery or your mustache?

GS: In my defense, it was the seventies. Fashion took a holiday. It is important to keep legacies alive. We were the only game in town for a long while.

RE: That was special in light of millions of critics on YouTube and Rotten Tomatoes. They can review films. Did they have a calling?

GS: Things fell into place. Neither of us set out to be film critics-

RE: And yet, it happened. Do you have any recommendations? There is a new Ghostbusters.

GS: Can you really call it new? You know you are getting old when generations behind you are having mid life crises. I could feel Love Lies Bleeding.

RE: Feeling is the right word. The fact A24 was allowed to make movies during the writer's and actor's strikes show we shall have some quality films. The world in that independent gym and New Mexico in general was more real to me than anything in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

GS: Not everything is enchanting in The Land of Enchantment. Is it time for Ed Harris to receive an AFI Lifetime Achievement award?

RE: He has a long, fascinating career. There are many candidates for the Life Achievement Award who are worthy. Christopher Walken has worked fifty years.

GS: His awards show will have many celebrities impersonating him. AFI selects performers who would have a high profile ceremony. That is a reason people like Robert Duvall or Francis Ford Coppola never won the award.

RE: We can discuss this another time. Should we thank Matt Singer?

GS: Yes. He wrote a well written book. Newspapermen write like no one else.

RE: The world needs more journalists.

GS: Yes. That should not go away. While he wrote a little more like a fan, it was accurate and worth checking out (to the camera) That's all the time we have. For Roger Ebert I am Gene Siskel and the balcony is closed.