S.I.R - A Simple Tool for Tough Conversations
Organizations that say they struggle with tough conversations struggle not because they are having tough conversations that go poorly, but because they are AVOIDING tough conversations.??
Tough conversations won't ever feel easy. But they can be more effective.?Try this method for having (effective) tough conversations.?And let us know how it goes for you!??
SIR - Situation -- Impact -- Request
Situation:?Name the specific behavior or situation you observe.
Name the FACT that you notice. We often jump immediately to stories we make up around the meaning of behavior -- and that is a surefire way to cause defensiveness in the person you are talking to. Stick in the land of observable fact. If you can't see the behavior you are naming, you are probably making a judgment.
Some sentence starters might be:
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Impact: Communicate the specific impact of the behavior.
This might be the WHY you are bringing up the feedback. Name the impact on the team or project. This is also where you can name the impact in your own head -- ie the stories you are making up.
Some sentence starters might be:
Requests Make a specific request for?clarity & next steps
This is where you can name the expectation or different behavior you'd like to see. It is a GREAT place to practice coming onto the same side of the table and problem-solving together. Curiosity also lives here -- What might you not know? Here you can request more information so you can solve this problem together.
Some sentence starters might be:
While these conversations may feel tough, deeper trust and connection and increased teamwork and effectiveness can live on the other side of them. You got this.