To 'Sir' or 'not to Sir'....

Few of my bosses always insisted that I address them by thier first name. It was difficult for me as I have been habituated with, addressing people with ‘Sir’. Probably it was due to my early years being in Hospitality and Tourism sector or probably because I didn’t learn to unlearn. I started off as a receptionist in a holiday resort and then on wards I found myself addressing everyone as ‘Sir’ or probably because in South India, especially in Bangalore peers address each other with a ‘Sir’.

After lot of friendly reminders from these bosses and with great difficulty I started addressing them by their first name. At times at work place we forget that everyone around us is equal and we fall for the societal and cultural norms and start following what we are taught to do.

In earlier PSU eco-system and in conservative Indian work environment, the Sir’ culture was deep rooted and rampant. There came the globalization and IT Boom. When the expats started working in India, the new set of culture started emerging. IT Parks, plush offices, shifts, cafeterias, free transportation, equal opportunity, opening up to new and better work-place and disposable incomes contributed to increase in self-esteem of an individual. The Master- Slave relation started fading. Formalities in English speaking cultures started disappearing. Along with it the equal and fair treatment came in where ‘Meritocracy’ was harvested and the ‘Sir/Madam’ cultures compacted.

To Sir or Not to Sir, is one such phenomenon. There are organisations where you address your senior or bosses by their first name and then there are few where you address them with ‘Sir / Madam’, voluntarily or involuntarily. There are class of people who do not want them to be addressed as ‘Sir’ and there are some who like to be called as ‘Sir / Madam ’ . Why is that ? . Simply put , Authority , Formal relations and Power !

There are class of people who do not want them to be addressed as ‘Sir’ and there are some who like to be called as ‘Sir / Madam ’ . Why is that ? . Simply put , Authority , Formal relations and Power !

Bosses and organisations who encourage ‘Sir’ culture are the ones

• Who enjoy this ‘Power’ game.
• Who think that the Power is their reward for their struggles in the past.
• They are ‘orthodox’ and ‘Patriarchal’ in thinking and action.
• Formal style of functioning.
• Sometimes they are the bosses who are not in favor of ‘Meritocracy’.
• Those who do not know that it becomes very difficult for people around them to approach them.

Does this style have Plus & Minus? Yes ! Plus side is that the things get done when fear is a motivation.The flip sides are that it won’t last long and respect vanishes as soon as the position and authority ends. secondly, game of Power continues and is passed on to next leadership.Relation is limited only to work place. A good example for this is the cases of retired police officers and how society treats them.

On the other hand the bosses who do not mind, to be addressed with their first name are,

• People who want to create an open environment in an organisation,
• Who believe that respect is beyond the position and it is to be earned ,
• Those who believe in equal opportunity, meritocracy and think that the power is not in positions and designations and not in corner offices.
• Those who want the subordinates to approach them freely and without any inhibitions
• Those who are less formal in functioning.

Plus here is that the subordinate will develop a back bone to voice out their concerns / feedback. Minus points is that there are no power corridors and first impressions.

Why do you call people ‘Sir’

• Because people think that it is one way of showing respect to some one senior.
• Because they are hesitant to call people by their first name.
• We are taught to call elders and those in positions/authority with a ‘Sir/Madam’ .
• We are yet to unlearn a belief that it worked for hundreds of years and the formal titles are vanishing and it’s easy to get the things done informally.

This trend of endorsing / encouraging ‘Sir’ culture can be termed as part of power distance. Power distance is your acceptance of unequally distributed power. The power-distance index seeks to demonstrate the extent to which subordinates or ordinary citizens submit to authority in a nation, business or culture. PDI or Power Distance Index is part of Hofstede's cultural dimensions theory. It is developed by Geert Hofstede, a Dutch sociologist. Here is a small brief about PDI.

Out of 66 countries, Malaysia stands on top of the Power distance index with a score of 104 and the lowest is Austria with 11. USA is 40, Germany 35 and India with 77 is slightly better than middle -eastern countries. You can click here and see Hofstede’s Power distance Index and where does your country stand in power index.

In fact addressing someone as ‘Sir / Madam’ , in entirety is not power distance. This trend is part of Power Distance. What it means for us is that those with high PDI values - rely on authority figures to make decisions.

Inequality of power distance is endorsed by the followers as much as by the leaders. The more powerful people do not try to correct them, hence this inequality breeds. Why ? Because, when they were less powerful in their early career phase, they had to go through the same predicament. Now they enjoy the power distance as a reward which comes along with authority. They treat that as a reward for what they went through in earlier phase of life, career.

It’s like a college ragging. What’s the excuse for ragging, that it is done to teach the social hierarchy in early career, and also to learn (or to teach) other important values in life as if they were mature enough to know anything about values and hierarchy. A striking similarity! Power distance is also a scale to measure the distance between ‘haves and have-nots’.

Where to begin?

OK, you realize that you have been encouraging this trend of ‘Sir Culture’ and you want to change it. Identify whether you calling someone ‘Sir / Madam’ is increasing the power distance between you and the other person.

If everyone around you and predominantly your organisation has ‘Sir Culture’, then you cannot do much. Obliviously you shouldn’t lose job by trying to change the world. If you are in inside a system which respects the elders with salutations, then continue. Your goal is to find out what works for you. Just be watchful on how the person you are addressing will interpret the message you are sending. Make sure to change and unlearn the moment you are out of this environs. 

Understand that you calling someone ‘ Sir ’ will not ensure that you will be in good books Or addressing someone by their name will not ensure that you will get close to them and they will open up to you or you can get away for not doing the job. Either ways you will not get extra brownie points.

By addressing someone by first name only means that you consider yourself equal to that person. You are calling their given name like everyone else calls your given name. You acknowledge that both of you respect meritocracy .When you step in to other person’s shoes and situation you are as equivalent and capable as that person. In this arrangement you don’t need to worry about Power Distance. What matters is only WORK and delivering what you are expected of. Rest of the frills are nullified and the nitty-gritties doesn't matter.

What can you do

Unlearn the cultural legacies. At least you can stop the buck with you. You can be that boss whom a person admires and is respected even after you have stepped away from your authority.

1. During the conversations try omitting 'Yes Sir' or ' Yes Ma’am' and see whether it makes a difference.
2. Call them by their name. Insert their name in your conversation as much as you can. If it’s your first meeting with that person and if you repeat their name often, it also shows that you remember people’s names and you are sharp ( It’s a Gift !)
3. Ensure that no one calls you sir. Gently remind them to call you by your first name ( You will be respected for that )

Exception and summary

Those who are in service and retail industry address their customers with ‘Sir and ‘Madam’ which I feel is right. Society these days are less formal than earlier times. It is a fact that various cultures across the globe have been using formal titles for years, but these days, business Eco systems are becoming less formal. Remember few years ago there was no Friday dressing or business casuals or luncheon meeting or work-from-home etc. Short business communication have moved from SMSs to whatsapp, world is shrinking (whether for good or not is a different debate).These new age quick fixes for work-places came, they conquered and they are going to stay.

After Thoughts

Sir is derived out of French word ‘Sire’ and used in English Speaking nations especially in the Commonwealth for those who have been awarded titles such as Knights or Baronets by English Crown.