Single or Alone? How Life Decides Us?

Is there any difference between being lonely and living alone? I think so. To me the first one is situational and the latter is of choice. Let’s see the story of Davis and his lonely/alone life.

It was a hot summer day when Davis and me were walking through Charminar area in Hyderabad. We both were bachelors then. Davis, who was in his late forties was enjoying chilled lassy when I asked about his life as a bachelor. Many times I tried to raise this question to him as I was planning to get married and was not quite sure about it. Each time he skipped my question or curiosity with an ignorance which I always found difficult to chew (I had a prejudiced thought that it was a love failure). This time, as I was about to leave the city in a few days, he seemed to be kind and ready to share his story of life. A few words about Davis before going through his story: Davis has clean habits, doesn’t like parties, never had any love affairs and is very devotional. But, when it comes to the matter of family life, a mood-swing catches his face and silence takes over. Sitting by the steps of Juma Musjid, he opened up his mind.

Davis, the youngest in the family, had bitter experiences when he was a child. His father was a landlord who had illicit relationships with a number of women. When questioned, he used to harass his wife (Davis’s mother) brutally and abuse her with threatening words. One day she died of unknown reasons and little Davis was left all alone in the house. The sudden death of his mother started to feed his mind with thoughts about relationships and trust. He believed, and still believes, that it was because of women his father chose to follow a life of that kind which led to the sad demise of his mother. He managed to complete graduation and left home in search of job. It’s been decades since he visited his home and according to him, all is well with life now. Now he spends most of his time for devotional things.

Though I was not convinced with his story, I could dig out a few facts that might be hovering around his opinion about marriage and relationships.

1. The shock that little Davis had experienced was the beginning of everything. He developed hatred towards everything and started practicing to hide from everyone. This decision denied him the opportunity to socialize with others and understand how relationships work.
2. When he grew up and became a man of his own, the hatred towards others narrowed to only women.
3. His hatred for women slowly took the form of fearfulness that always takes him aback while dealing with women.
4. The last one is my wild guess. It is obvious that more than four decades of solitude might have dragged him to jealousy for others who are comfortable with their relationships. Wouldn’t it be the reason for advising me with wrong perceptions about marriage and relationships?

Anyway, I left Hyderabad a week later and now enjoying my life as a family man. Still, every weekend Davis calls me up and asks about my married life and problems I am facing with relationships. But, I could never give him something he wants to hear.