Singing Our Hearts Out

How many times have you been the person who knows the story of both sides and wished individuals from both sides could just sit down once and TALK. When I say talk, I don't mean the usual formality conversation but rather spilling their hearts out - the things they don't like, the things they think other person did was wrong, the things they miss, everything from heart-wrenching to teeth clenching. Because once that happens, suffering ends (at least for a little while), and what can be better than that?

But communicating is something so many people fear and what is supposed to be simple and primitive becomes a humongous task. When I say communicating,?I don't mean in the conventional way where you need to know exactly what you want to say, or you know how to put your thought into all the right words, all that is good for writing on your CV.

Speaking your heart out often looks messy, where you don't know why you are feeling an emotion towards a person, or you are unaware why an action by a person affects you deeply, etc. When people start talking about what occupies their hearts along with their minds, they take the first step of finally putting all that into words. And when they do so, they will 9/10 times end up finding the reason behind this unexplainable feeling. ?How?

Putting all that noise into words means you are making an effort to structure it by taking one element of noise at a time instead of gulping the whole cacophony in one sip and wondering why it does not make sense.

Speaking our hearts out doesn’t need to be reserved for when we have argued or for "special" moments. It should be a regular practice because once you start speaking your heart out, you become a lot more peaceful and begin to understand other people and their inhibitions more maturely and naturally. This helps not just you but the whole world. I mean just talk it out already *sighs*.

Speaking your heart out also improves everyday communication skills and your overall personality. The very fact that you have the courage to speak about things that you don't completely understand but still have the guts to explain to a person in front of you gives you a boost of confidence, automatically making you believe in yourself that whatever the outcome, you are capable of handling.

It also makes you more compassionate towards people, which is a priceless personality trait. Once you start talking about all your scattered thoughts and simultaneously making sense of it, you are able to walk in other people's shoes and understand why someone is reacting in a certain way. Making you more empathetic and more patient with people. All of which assist you in maintaining relations in your personal and professional life.

Even after knowing that speaking our hearts out has so many benefits, there is a good chance that you still aren't convinced. Because somewhere deep down, you know that it requires one to be vulnerable and opens up the possibility that the person in front of you will not understand, making things worse. But know that our mind is a monkey, and it keeps jumping to conclusions.

I know that speaking from the heart can be daunting. To ensure that the outcome is not the worst-case scenario you imagined and to make this task a tad bit easier, here are some things you need to keep in mind:-

?It is OKAY to Feel all that Noise

You might feel that this heaviness or that all these unexplainable feelings are something only you have to endure, but take it from someone who has talked about this to many people - the clouds are not just above your head, it is in the whole sky. And the only solution to do away with the grey skies is to pour it out. Feeling all that noise is a sign of you having a heart and there is nothing more human than that.

Vulnerability is the Road to Peace

You cannot possibly have your guard up all the time and expect people to understand what you are feeling. Have you seen the metal suit used in wars? It protects people, but they become unrecognizable. So, if you want to be seen, you got to face the fear of vulnerability, and once you have confronted the devil, the next thing you will experience is weightlessness in your heart and mind. Being vulnerable is much better than not knowing what calm feels like.?

Moreover, when one person decides to be vulnerable, the other always gives in, which means both/all of you can be merry after being miserable.

Speak without Expecting

When you speak without expecting that the other person HAS to understand, your tone changes from imposing to simply having a conversation. Plus, this prevents you from feeling as if it was your fault that you said anything in the first place.

It is always a good idea to give a disclaimer before you start speaking. Something like: "I want to get this off my chest," "I don't know why I feel this way and thought maybe sharing will help," or "What I am about to say is not intended to hurt you; it is just to make me understand myself better,” etc. And when you say these, really mean it.

Don’t Beat Around the Bush

Say what you want to say honestly and openly. Don't keep going around the subject and expect the other person to make sense of it. When you keep going merry-go-round around the actual thing instead of just bull eyeing it, the chances are that the other person will misread your intentions. So, save yourself from all that drama by doing everyone a favor.

Find the Right Person

The urge to speak your heart out to someone comes to you only when you are close to them. Because otherwise, you won't be affected by their actions or have this tiny voice saying that they might be able to understand what you want to say. So, when this happens, talk to that particular person and not to some third person, because playing the "messenger" game turns into gossip most of the time.

Further, keep the maturity of the person you open up to in mind and speak the words/ language they would understand.

?Listen with All of Your Senses

When you pour out your heart, you will receive some reaction in return. Listen to it before you reply to it. When I say listen, I mean with both your eyes and ears. Notice how it is making them feel and how their body language changes. There is a huge possibility that what they want to say and what they say are totally different.

But your calm reaction to their reaction will make both of you comfortable and help you further the conversation instead of shooting each other down.

When you speak your heart out regularly, you will realize that gradually it becomes like singing your heart out where you scream that song and don't fear being judged, because it makes you happy.

Speaking our hearts out not only helps us build good relationships in all areas of our life but makes us more self-aware, empathetic, and kind, and aren't these some of the best traits of a human being?

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