……..and since then I’ve never cheated again.

Today, Friday December 6th 2019, there is a trending topic around a decline in teaching careers (sadly). That made me stop for a minute and appreciate the fact that I was very lucky to grow up in a school system that had some of the greatest teachers who have made a difference on me.

Teachers (including school coaches and college professors) play a very important role in the development of all of us. They are really our first mentors who for real nourish, develop and construct some of the behaviors and habits we still have today. The habits we end up taking in our professional careers.

Here is my quick one story….

About 18 years ago, I was in the 5th grade. I will say that I was good at school. I had good grades. I was usually ranked among the top 3 in my class. My teachers loved me, and my friends were amazing. 5th grade was so much fun.

Now, sometimes, for me to keep getting good grades (fast), I used to cheat; that happened during the mock-up quizzes or pop-up exams. I always thought it was okay because at the end of the year before the “real” exams happen, I will be in a good shape to catch up on my studies and perform well; that was true, but it was still wrong. It was cutting corners by breaking the trust of my teachers, everyone in my class, and also my future self (i.e. who I will turn to be).

As usual, one day, there was a French pop-up exam. My French teacher, who I have known for 2 years by that time, gave us a quiz on verb être and Avoir. Now, my role in the cheating routine was to tell my friend to go to page number XX and show me the table at the right side, then I would look down in the book to get the answers (…I usually had a good memory on where to find an answer – no google support).

Confused between verb être and Avoir, I handed the wrong answers to my five friends; then I realized I gave them the wrong answers, so I told them to fix the answers back. I celebrated a fake success by catching the error at the last minute and cheating my way to another quick win.

Now, what happened is that we got caught! Obviously, if 6 students make the same mistake at the same place and correct the same mistakes in the same exact way, then it is clearly obvious that they were copying/pasting the answers from each other.

In our next class (in front of 35 other students), my French teacher called the 6 of us in front of the class. She was not happy and was holding our quiz papers in her hand. At that moment, I realized she knew. Also, at that moment, I realized that the best way for us to calm her down is to come clean and admit our mistake rather than denying it. As such, I quickly admitted upfront that I cheated and convinced my friends to admit we have cheated as well. There was no way out for us, except doing the right thing this time. We apologized and we also promised that we would never do it again. I will always remember that she told us that in her days whomever cheated used to wear a cheater sign for the whole year around the school.

What came afterwards are the lessons:

(1)  Whenever we had a quiz or an exam in her class, she did not allow us to sit next to each other. I always believed that she wanted us to remember that winning her trust back is not going to be easy.

(2)  She never really broke us apart during the class time (again only during her quiz/exam time). She understood that we as friends (a team) were doing great together; we enjoyed our time together and we never did anything wrong during the class time, but we needed to work on our integrity more when it came to quiz time.

(3)  She never really told anyone else on us. It was very weird; it was only during her class, only during her quiz time, only for those 10 minutes, that we had to move around. Even though, she can easily assume that we cheated elsewhere too, she was willing to monitor the situation one more time and see what we will do next, before going to the next level.

I look back from time to time on that specific situation and I realize that I have learned great valuable lessons from her. I learned that:

(1)  Obtaining someone’s trust does not come easy. It is about being consistent and having integrity all the time. Being brave and courageous to fail or to have a difficult conversation rather than avoiding or cheating my way to success.

(2)  When I have someone’s trust, I should never break that trust. It is always about doing the right thing every time and cheating my way to success is not really success; being proud is not about the achievement, but it is about the steps and the hard work I put to achieve what I want to achieve.

(3)  When someone fails you, it is important to give them a chance and to keep it among yourselves first. As a leader, people will fail and it is important to create a safe place for the team to fail, to avoid pressuring them in a way to have them end up showing fake success and to have an honest dialogue about developing one another.

Cheating is about lacking a strong set of integrity principles. Integrity is a mix of actions that helps create a trusted relationship between the leader and the team members. Great leaders deliver on their promises every time, and in case they cannot, they do not avoid confrontation (never); they are proactive to create a plan B to deliver on their promise. Great leaders are also dependable; in some ways they are idealistic but with a touch of reality. They do not compromise their values and they have the courage to stand up for what they believe is right for their team members every time.

Heroic leaders do not ever cheat their way to success and never take credit for other people work. I have to admit, I would have never ever learned that lesson without going through that 5th grade moment where I felt I have let my teacher down.

On that unforgettable day, I am made a promise to myself to never cheat and since then I’ve never cheated again.

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