Simply Said : "Look within"

This article was inspired by a friend who asked me how he can stop being angry all the time, although I told him the usual tricks like counting 10 before you react, but is there is a reason actually to react to everything that is said to us? You want to stop being so emotional all of the time? But who says you are being so emotional and how do you know this is true actually all of the time? Or perhaps maybe only sometimes or only in specific situations?

First step is obviously to take some time "out" to answer those questions and consider that your emotions are trying to tell you something which is great!! However, by wanting to stop yourself from experiencing them will only cause you to avoid whatever it is that you need to address. Think about what emotions are you experiencing specifically? Like what does being emotional mean to you by getting angry? Feeling sadness? Experiencing fear and frustration?

Without knowing more about your current life experience and what emotion(s) you are experiencing, there could be a number of things you need to look at however, don’t look to stop of hinder your emotions, focus on learning and understanding what they are about. Simply said "Look within"! When you decide not to react to everything which is said to you, it involves letting go things which don't really matter to you personally. "Why do you take everything personally yeah?.. like the south Indian guy in the movie 3 Idiots?

Reacting or over reacting?To a situation, a person, something someone said? It is so important to get to the root of what is causing this so you can begin to work towards making positive change. Don’t allow someone else to tell you how or how not to be. Also, do take the time to check in with yourself so you can uncover and better understand what you are experiencing and what, if anything, needs to change.

In one particular case I know one of my friends had an abusive childhood. His father was very short tempered and would loose temper if anyone said no to him. My friend used to be abused by his own father, he used to beat him up black and blue and he was always sick of the sight of his father which created a hatred towards him. While growing up he must have controlled himself back from reacting to the situations, where, he should have reacted.

Like, I had myself this history of able to overcome my anger in the past, I used to keep my mouth shut, but getting boiling inside but never communicated my likes and dislikes to any one including parents, but when I started to grow up, and got involved in self development matters, I started to question people's behaviour towards me and mine towards them, as in the western society they do not teach us to be blindly following the authority, or parents. Like I never asked my mother why is it so while doing Puja every morning I just followed what she taught me because puratan shastra (ancient religious books) has said that and we could never challenge that.

If you are trying to handle your emotional bursts, you can seems to learn through practice, I believe, as you are taking advice from people, you must be trying lots of stuff. I believe with time, you would figure out, when to get in the tantrum, and when not but only when required. Like when I learnt driving the car, I expected that everyone on the road should follow traffic rules and finding that no one actually followed the discipline of lane cutting and overtaking from wrong side, slowly I started boiling inside about all the people and hence I was always angry at people while driving and cursed and swore at them.

But when I realised that it is of no use shouting at people is of no use, I started smiling and laughing it out while driving taking people for granted that they will behave the same way they do, and we can't go on changing people all the time and expect them to behave the way you want, "let it go, let it go" like the famous song from the movie 'Frozen', I started letting it go and stop expecting people will behave and stop reacting to every one what they say. Like in a public place if some one is doing something wrong like spitting on the road which is so common in India but the same people behave once they land in Singapore or Dubai where littering has a huge fine and no one dares to litter in the public place there.

One day you are sitting relaxed with no emotion and somebody provokes you and this fire starts flowing in your body to get back, and hurt them back badly, but if you do not catch fire and decide not to lose even your temper, but stay where you are, and suddenly, you can see the fire separating from your heart, there you would know, when to emotionally involved with the fire, and when not and then you learn to forgive the people who make you angry.

I have seen that 99 % of the time anger not get things resolved, but always leaves behind the bad feeling and the bad words said in the memory card of your mind. The emotional outburst must be helping your somewhere, some emotional excitement, something positive and pleasant feeling has to be there with unpleasant sensations as you repeat your behaviour, find the positive side of losing emotional reaction. It has only could be your own discovery, it cannot be taught, but can be caught as well. You may fail some times and lots of times, while trying to control your emotional outburst but please keep on trying and one day you will succeed. Stay blessed! #kishoreshintre #possessedbywritingspirit