Simply no answer - Ghosting at work and in private life (by Davit Drambyan)
Who doesn't know this? - Someone we were in contact with suddenly stops communicating with us. People just disappear from our lives, - or is it perhaps WE who leave someone behind?
Companies to which we have applied and even had an interview simply do not give an answer, or vice versa, applicants who have received positive feedback seemingly disappear from the face of the earth.
1. Summary: The phenomenon of ghosting
"Ghosting" is a term used colloquially and being understood in an interpersonal relationship as a complete break in contact and communication without any notice, warning or justification, and subsequently ignoring any attempt to approach or reconnect [1][2][3][4][5].
2. Origin of the term
Initially, ghosting referred primarily to a relationship (partnership or friendship) as an act of ending a relationship by sudden interrupting all communication.
The term originated in the early or mid-2000s. The popularity of the term in various fields increased rapidly in the 2010s, which was attributed to the increased use of social media and online dating apps [6]. The first official interpretation of "ghosting" occurred in 2015 by the Collins English Dictionary after the term became popular through numerous articles about celebrity relationship dissolutions [7][8][9].
Meanwhile, ghosting has reached other areas of life. Not responding to job applications by companies as well as the increasing reports of applicants who disappear without a trace, clients and insurances who withdraw without a word - the practice became more common [10][11].
3. Types of ghosting: Appearance and impact in a private context
Ghosting is one of the ways to end romantic or friendly relationships between people. In this area, the phenomenon has gained particular popularity due to the spread of the use of modern technologies (texting, online dating, social networks, etc.).
In addition to refusing personal meetings and communication, there is an opportunity to stop interaction by blocking the other on social networks and ignoring any attempts to get in touch. This specific type of ghosting that goes along with disconnection and blocking on all socials is referred to as "cloaking" – the term has been coined by Rachel Thompson, a journalist from the digital media platform Mashable [12][13].
Why ghosting harms both partners: the victim (the abandoned)
Some authors consider ghosting to be the most painful way to end a relationship. It is believed that the feeling of rejection for the rejected affects the same parts of the brain as physical pain. Emotionally, a person may encounter feelings of uncertainty, loss, and anxiety; there is a sharp decrease in self-esteem, etc. [14].
A possible response to ghosting has been proposed as "ghostbusting" or "ghost hunting", where the person forces the ghoster to respond [15].
I believe that another possible reaction may be that the victim seeks some form of revenge and also uses ghosting, but now on others.
Why ghosting harms both partners: the culprit (the ghoster)
Reasons for ghosting as a breakup strategy can be:
Fear of emotional discomfort, in general;
Unwillingness to explain their behaviour;
Fear of facing the wrong reaction from a partner when parting;
A general tendency to lose a sense of empathy [16].
It is argued that by avoiding conflicts, the own insecurity of the person who breaks off contact through ghosting would remain. Thus, there would be no possibility for personal development. Since the contact breakers often already had problems with shame and insecurity and often - compared to the abandoned - had the weaker part in relationships, they did not benefit from silently avoiding confrontation [17].
4. Types of ghosting: Appearance and impact in a professional context
The phenomenon of ghosting is not limited to private relationships, but is also becoming increasingly common in the world of work. "Business ghosting" or "job ghosting" are just two of several terms used for it [18].
Starting from the employer or principal
The following reasons are given for a lack of response from companies to job applications [19]:
Structural overload due to overwork, understaffing and absenteeism due to illness do not allow remaining workers to respond adequately to applications.
The public advertisement was only "pro forma", while the contract or job had already been awarded.
It was a test advertisement to check the response to the qualities sought or to demonstrate to competitors that the company was doing well economically.
Companies are advised not to include a reason in a rejection letter in order to limit the risk of being sued. Since applicants with a rejection letter often contact the HR department and ask for the reason in order to learn, companies stopped sending rejection letters.
Internal problems with the financing of new jobs lead to the deletion of the job advertisement, whereby the time-consuming feedback from all applicants is cancelled at the same time.
Every second applicant is still waiting for a response from the company 45 days after sending an application. The resulting uncertainty can trigger or intensify self-doubt and have a negative impact on the future job search. Meanwhile, those affected can seek advice both online and offline on how best to deal with job ghosting [19][20].
Similar to dating, applicants who do not receive feedback begin to doubt themselves and the quality and content of their application. Although this form of behaviour is unprofessional and rude, many recruiting departments are still so overwhelmed that applicants should not assume intentional behaviour or even malice.
In the case of a lack of response, the only option for the applicants who have not been contacted is to check whether the job offer is still advertised.
The number of applicants who have not heard back from the company is growing. According to HR experts surveyed by LinkedIn, 95 per cent had already had to deal with ghosting in the application process [21]. According to a study by HeadHunter, only 10% of 287 Russian employers have never encountered this phenomenon. Of the remaining share, about 36% have experienced employee hosting more than 9 times [22]. A survey of 1,200 British workers found that more than half (55 per cent) were fundamentally afraid of rejection when looking for a job. This did not only apply to those just starting their careers, but also to 45 percent of those over 44 years of age who were fundamentally insecure about finding a job [21].
Starting from the employee or applicant
In the world of work, for decades it was often the case that companies did not get back to their applicants, or only after asking. Therefore, one of the possible explanations for the sudden disappearance of job applicants, sometimes after they have already made commitments, is that their behaviour is a reaction to the unprofessional and rude response behaviour of companies, something they have already experienced themselves [23].
A 2019 US survey of 900 employers and 4000 job seekers found that 83 per cent of companies had already been victims of ghosting by job seekers in the application process. Sixty-nine per cent of the companies concerned said it was a new phenomenon that had only occurred within the two years prior to the survey (i.e. from 2017). Nevertheless, only 18 per cent of the surveyed applicants admitted to having been ghosted themselves. Half of them said they had not turned up for an interview without a rejection. At 46 per cent, there were almost as many who had not responded to written enquiries from companies. Simply not showing up on the first day was the strategy of 22 percent of the applicants who admitted ghosting. Almost as many (19 per cent) had made verbal commitments but never confirmed them in writing [24].
According to an anonymized statement taken from Der Spiegel by a man who had not turned up at his employer's on his first day of work, the 33-year-old had "something else on his mind" that day. Without informing his actual employer, he had made an appointment for another job interview to see if he did not have even better conditions at the other company [25].
The similarity to ghosting in the private sphere is often that contact and communication took place online, e.g. B. via social media. Tenders can no longer only be found on the typical business platforms such as LinkedIn or Xing, but have also reached Facebook and the like. Sometimes well-qualified applicants even show up for an interview, only to fail to comply with the agreed deadlines for replying and from the same moment never react to contact requests from the company again [26].
In Manager Magazin, Heiner Thorborg assumes that this shift is the result of the fact that suitable applicants have become comparatively scarce in many fields. It was the companies that for years had not contacted applicants they had rejected, thus establishing ghosting in the professional world. Some of the formerly spurned applicants, who themselves have had the experience of waiting in vain for feedback, have thus become the ghost applicants that companies are now complaining about [21].
5. Criticism
There is a position to refute the fact that "ghosting" is a new phenomenon [27]. People were purposely "disappearing" before the advent of modern technology, and, moreover, millennials are not the only ones with this pattern of behaviour [28]. The main reason for the term's emergence has been the recent surge in the use of this strategy to end romantic relationships as well as the widespread publicity surrounding any display of ghosting by celebrities [7][8][29].
6. Related behaviours and terms
As "ghosting" is disappearing from a person's life without explanation or warning, similar behaviour has been identified as "caspering" (referring to Casper the Friendly Ghost, the protagonist of the animated cartoon series of the same name), which is a friendlier alternative to ghosting. Instead of ignoring someone, you are open and honest about how you feel and rather let others gradually disappear from your life [15].
The mentioned above "cloaking" is another related behaviour, which can occur when someone blocks someone else across all apps. "Mooning" is a similar concept, which describes an operation on a smart phone, in which the user blocks the possibility of receiving notifications about text messages from another user or a group of users, when the blocked person does not know that he is blocked. The source of this meaning is an icon of a Moon scythe that marks the "Do not disturb" button on iPhone devices [30].
A variant of ghosting is what has been called "orbiting". It's when the vanished ghost makes occasional appearances; he broke off the relationship, but liked a post on social networks, reappearing in the social orbit of the ignored person. The orbiting person keeps you "close enough to each other" and also "far enough away that you don't have to talk" [31].
Then there is a similar and somewhat positive but still ghosting method, "marleying" (referring to Jacob Marley, a fictional character in Charles Dickens's novella "A Christmas Carol"), which is "when an ex-boyfriend suddenly calls you on a holiday" [15].
7. Ghosting in culture
Media personalities [32][33] have repeatedly been victims of ghosting and ended up dedicating their work to the subject. Examples include artists such as Florence + the Machine ("Big God"), Katy Perry ("Ghost"), Sean Mendes ("Where Were You in the Morning?"), Ariana Grande ("Ghostin"), etc.
领英推荐
My current single "She Doesn't Talk to Me" also deals with this topic.
ABOUT SENI (German feat. artist)
When my guitar student Jonas G?rlich started producing and releasing his own songs regularly in his tenth year of lessons, it made sense to include him as a featured artist in one of my productions.
Jonas comes from Leuna (a small town in central Germany), is only eighteen, and has now achieved considerable success within a very short time, like over 100k plays on Spotify.
His extraordinary musicality, a very high level of initiative, and ability to learn, including in the technical area of audio and video production and marketing, are remarkable.
Jonas releases melodic hiphop under the artist name SENI or SENI062 and contributed the spoken word vocals for the German version of my latest single "She Doesn't Talk to Me".
ABOUT William Altitude (French feat. artist)
The French version was voiced by William Altitude, a very versatile and experienced musician and artist from Sigy, ?le-de-France in Provins. William collaborated with some well-known musicians, such as Salif Keita. William’s participation in my production is a great result of a remote internet collab via LinkedIn.
ABOUT Artworks
The impressive cover photo for the German version comes from the respected Brazilian art photographer Rodolfo Clix.
For the French version, the young and very talented artist Veldyr from Berlin created a manga-style cover image.
References
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