A Simple Letter

?Experience is the stone that sharpens our skills.

Waving goodbye to my father at the airport seemed like an easy thing to do.? I was 19, and so ready to leave home.? My bags were packed and on the plane, and I was finally leaving.? My oldest brother Wade had done it the year before, and I felt that if he could do it, then I was ready as well.??

At that age, I was certain that no-one understood me. I was certain that No-one knew that I loved to just walk on the beach and listen to the waves roll over the beach stones, no-one knew that I liked to sit in grassy fields on the windiest of days and just experience the power and the beauty of nature, no-one knew that I was unhappy with my life… or at least I didn’t think they knew. This being the case, I was going to go to somewhere where I thought I would be appreciated.? What I chose to do had nothing to do with somewhere where I could be appreciated.? I joined the Canadian military.? Why I chose that I’ll never know, but at least it was a ticket off of the island of Newfoundland, and right about then, any ticket to anywhere off of the island would have looked great. I was just running away.?

At that age, I wasn't really grounded in the fine art of human relations, or communications either for that matter.? As a matter of fact, if something happened that could be misunderstood, criticized, or complained about then I was your man.? I could find something negative to say about just about anything, and I welcomed the challenge.?

So, here I was on a plane heading towards my future, and I was alone.? Even though there were hundreds of other people on that plane, I have never felt so alone in all my life.? My Dad used to say, “You make your bed, now lie in it...” well, I had made my bed, and I was scared to lie in it.? I felt like I couldn’t tell anyone, this was my own cross to bear, and I alone had to find a way to do it.? I was crossing that wasteland called “desperation”, heading towards independence and uncertainty, and I had no road map. I had to blaze my own trail.

One night, after washing the stairs with a toothbrush, (yes they really had us doing that), and having all of my other chores completed, I decided to call home.? I’m not much for talking on the phone, but I welcomed these little breaks in the endless list of chores that we had to do in basic training.? When I heard my dad’s voice come on the phone, I was suddenly overcome with emotion.? I found it very hard talking to him, and I choked on my breath.? I didn’t want him to hear me like this, so I tried to joke and carry on with him. I felt like I had let him down.? I felt like the proverbial black sheep in the family, and I wasn’t living up to his expectations of me, and it all came rushing over me.? I know now that he knew what I was going through because I sensed he was having a hard time as well.? It was his next words to me that got me through it, and it was those words that have guided me through a lot of challenging things all throughout my career.? “Paul” he said, “I’m very proud of you.? You are living your life on purpose.? Do you know how many people in this world never get to make that choice?? I’m sure whatever you put your mind to do, you’ll succeed at.? And if you ever need something, I want you to know that I’m always there for you, all you need to do is ask.” ?He’d said that to me before then, but I never really heard it until that moment, when I felt like I was down and out, and needed to be encouraged.? I’m not really sure if I said it enough to my Dad, but I truly appreciated that talk, and all he did for me.?

?There are probably many people in your life who have made a positive impact on us.? Have you told them?? Have you let them know that you appreciate them?? If not, why not?? For some of us it’s embarrassment; “Oh I could never say that, what would they think?” for others it’s pride; “I can’t do that, they already know anyway”, and for others it’s just an excuse to mask their true emotions; “we just don’t do that in our family, so why get all mushy and mess everything up?”?

This week, if there is someone in your life who has made a significant positive impact on you, I’m challenging you to write them a letter and tell them.? Underneath everything, the fears, tears, emotions and masks, there lies a heart that wants to mean something to someone.? Why deny them that feeling?? It could be an e-mail message, it could be flowers with a card attached or it could be a hand written message on a piece of scrap paper, the important thing is that we tell them. ?Whatever it is that you choose to say, I can assure you that you will make a positive difference in that person’s attitude when they receive it.?

I have many letters to write and I suspect you do as well, so go now and make this your best week ever!

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