A simple lesson of psychological safety from my mom; you are allowed to fail

There are a lot of fears one needs to overcome to be an effective leader. But—don't be afraid to fail? Now that one did not come naturally to me. So here I am talking to you about it.?

When I started to think about not being afraid to fail, I realized I'd learned how to overcome that from my mother as she taught me the concept of psychological safety.?

I remember a time when I was in 9th grade. I returned home after my final science term. In high school, the exams got over by the afternoon. Education was critical in our household. So, Mom and Dad ensured either of them should be home during the exam times for support. Dad had a late afternoon teaching shift that day, so he welcomed me home as he opened the door.?

How did it go? Dad asked while setting up the lunch table. Tears started rolling in my eyes. "I don't think it went well. The time was up, and I left two questions unanswered" Looking at my face, he already knew something was up, but my tone of voice confirmed that I was disappointed. Dad listened with empathy. He felt sorry for me. The fear of not passing at the top of my class felt so catastrophic to me, and soon the silent tears turned into sobbing. There was silence around the lunch table as I continued to cry.

A few minutes passed; returning from work, mom entered the door. Her purse was still hanging on her shoulder; she came to the table and asked my dad why I was crying. He told mom what had happened.?

She responded to dad with concern," and you are watching her cry? "Wipe your tears first," she said to me. "I don't think you will fail, but you can always retake the exam if you do. It is not the end of the world- It is okay. We are not disappointed- you know your stuff, and you can always try again."?

Hearing my mom say I can try again, I found new courage and relief. I did not fail the exam, but my mother's action that day taught me the meaning of psychological safety. Not all failures are catastrophic; if you do fail, it is not a reason to give up but to try again.?

I began to embrace it both in my personal and professional life. Since then, I have taken risks several times to reinvent myself, even if I feared failure. I have also come to appreciate the importance of practice to learn or be good at anything.

My mother has pushed me to be the leader I am proud to be; persistent and courageous, positive even in stressful situations, always learning, creating psychological safety for others around me to experiment and fail.?

My mom is still a voice of encouragement, teaches me not to give up, and has many leadership lessons yet to introduce in my life.